Eating right and exercising are joyless chores; is it any wonder some choose to die?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
41

I have not read the other thread that prompted this one. But based on this OP alone and the various remarks Leaper makes, I’m reading it as someone asking for help and needing to be convinced that he’s missing something very important that will change his mind and his life.

Unfortunately that won’t happen here/now.

Leaper knows all the right things to do. But he also knows that there is little joy to be found in making the changes he needs to make. He knows it will require discipline and a considerable amount of initial discomfort. The payoff is a long way away and doesn’t seem real enough in the day to day grind of achieving the desired goals. In short, it’s too damn hard.

I have only one thing to say to this sort of outlook - NOTHING tastes as good as fit and healthy feels.

42

I dunno that 30 minutes of exercise to improve your own quality of life makes you Nelson Mandela, but I’d agree that being willing to do something briefly unpleasant that’s ultimately beneficial does indeed show character. A certain Nike slogan is coming to mind…

43

[QUOTE=Blaster Master]
started getting a little more serious about exercise in my early 20s than I’d been in my teens, was that as I got healthier, I actually had fewer cravings for the stuff that was bad for me. I would drink a fair amount of soda and I cut it out realizing just how many calories it was. I generally don’t have cravings for it now and it’s usually even too sweet. So, by having better health, I need more protein and the stuff in healthier food, so my body’s cravings had changed based upon my needs. So I just find I crave junk less now.
[/QUOTE]

QFT. I treated my body like shit and ate like shit for about 30 years. I basically started falling apart. Back pain, knee pain, random aches and pains, depression, easily getting sick, taking longer to recover, napping all the time, etc. High cholesterol, starting to exhibit some pre-diabetic signs. And somehow it finally hit me. This is literally a matter of life and death.

I have now been exercising daily for about 5 months, and eating clean for about two months. I actually take a more extreme POV than I did before - I know there are all kinds of ways people can lose weight, they can eat a little chocolate every day or whatever, but I tried that and it didn’t work. Eating a little bit of junk every day kept the junk addiction alive. What I’ve found works best for me is actually what Leaper is describing - just not eating that stuff again. I’ve stopped eating processed food altogether and the biggest difference I’ve noticed is my depression is a lot more manageable.

Now, I don’t think it’s very sustainable to NEVER eat junk food again, so I made a rule that I can only have treats scheduled at least 1 week in advance. In the last two months, I’ve had 2 treats. And even though I have ‘‘permission’’ to eat however much I want, I don’t have the desire to eat much because a little goes a lot longer way than it did in the past. It tastes different. It doesn’t have that ‘‘hook’’ like it used to.

I realize this sounds extreme, but it’s actually not as bad as it sounds. The first two weeks were the hardest. After that, this got easy. I eat whatever I want whenever I want to, and the only rule is it has to be real, whole food. But the thing is, now that I’ve kicked my addiction to added sugar, all I really want is real, whole food. The processed stuff just loses its appeal after a while. Your body chemistry changes and starts to desire different things.

Last night we ordered Chinese. I got steamed fish and rice. After that, I wanted something sweet, so I had a pint of grape tomatoes and some delicious blueberries. I did not in any way feel deprived. Once you get the added sugar out of your system, it’s like you can actually taste the artificiality of processed food and it’s kinda gross.

So it might sound dreadful to cut that stuff out of your diet, but the truth is you just stop wanting it.

As for exercise, I do between 10-20 minutes of high intensity conditioning a day. I wouldn’t exactly say that I ‘‘enjoy’’ it, but it does appear to be a daily requirement to keep my mood stable, and all my phantom aches and pains have mostly disappeared. But you know what? Being healthy isn’t about checking exercise off your list every day. It’s about finding things you love to do that are active. Hiking? Biking? Ultimate Frisbee? My latest interest is hiking. Hiking has nothing to do with my daily workouts, but I try to get out at least once a week, because I freakin’ love it. 6 miles this Sunday, to raise money for mental health research. I can’t wait. :cool:

44

I agree with the OP. I mean, sure, drugs are bad for you, but SO fun. That’s why I just do ALL the heroin. I mean, if I’m going to smoke pot once in a while, why not just shoot up every day, ya know?

45

I thought that was what a habit was…?

Anyway, post 41 was right, in that I’m not depressed, I’m just a lazy lump. Every free moment I have (and most of my work moments, actually) is just sitting. My apartment has needed cleaning for months, and I’ve done things here and there, but I can’t make myself finish it. I have absolutely no internal motivation to do anything with my free time but sit indoors somewhere. Even if I started to do something about exercise (I can’t lift worth a damn), I’d just stop sooner rather than later. I don’t WANT to get up and do anything.

I was thinking maybe the prospect of a horrible disease (which I haven’t been diagnosed with yet, but I sit around and eat a lot of pasta, so why wouldn’t I get it eventually, even if I’m not overweight) might do it, but not so far.

46

This, right here.

Hey dude, you have no motivation to make any of the changes your OP is complaining about. So don’t.

If one day life kicks you in the ass (and it will) then you’ll find your motivation and get on with doing what you should have been doing all along. Until then, keep holding down that sofa. It isn’t the right thing to do and you know it. But it’s all you’re willing to do right now. What more is there to say?

47

Okay, NOW I’m depressed. :slight_smile:

48

Even leaping? :slight_smile:

I sympathize quite a bit with the OP. And, like your most recent post says, I think a lot of it is laziness. Sometimes I just have to force myself to make choices or move myself in healthier directions. The exercise thing, for example: I too find exercise as such to be mostly boring drudgery, but if I listen to audiobooks while I go for a brisk walk, I at least have that part of the experience that I enjoy and look forward to.

I guess the ideal answer, for you or me or anyone else who feels like this, is to find something to live for, some mission in life, that keeps you energized and occupied and busy. That, and/or marry someone who’s good at cooking healthy food and with whom you can have lots of energetic sex.

49

Re-read my last post. It came off harsher than I intended. I’m just saying quit all/any of the self-loathing you may be feeling right now. You know what you need to do but you are not motivated. I hope that one day you’ll find the drive you’re looking for. Until then, just try to minimize the damage. :slight_smile:

50

Hmm, I’ll have to think about the mission in life thing. I can’t think of anything off the top of my head that’s strong enough to get me off my butt yet, not even family (and I do like my family). And I seriously doubt there will be any marriage/relationships in my future.

What do you think made me depressed? :smiley: Seriously, though, I understood it; it just really crushes me that I know what I should to do, what most of the population but me does, but I can’t get myself to do it. I’m getting too old to be like that. At this rate, I’ll just die this way.

51

Do you WANT to die this way?..:dubious:

52

Of course not. And I know that SHOULD motivate me to exercise or whatever, but for some reason, it doesn’t. I just forget about it and go back to doing nothing.

53

A habit is just whatever you do routinely.

You could make it a habit to count calories on Mondays and Wednesdays. Or eat meat-less lunches on Tuesday and Thursdays. Or refrain from sodas on Fridays. Or eat an extra vegetable of Sundays.

It’s your life, man. Build it the way you want to.

54

And you’re really not alone in that. Even the healthiest person on earth has some indulgence that will most likely hasten their suffering - even vegan marathon runners endure increased joint wear and tear and risk breaking limbs for their hobby.

All the motivational talks in the world really won’t help, I know that. I have a little speech I tell my patients: “We’re all going to die. You know that, I know that. My job is to teach you about the ways you’re most likely to die if you keep doing what you’re doing, and to offer some insights about ways you might be able to change how you die if you want to. But ultimately, it’s up to you, and if you count enough years, every single one of my patients will die and all I can do is go home and hug my kids.”

Oddly, I’m a very popular nurse. I think they appreciate the lack of bullshit.

55

Inertia: Newton’s First Law. It’s a bitch. :slight_smile:

56

I just want to second all of this. I used to have a huge sweet tooth, loved cookies and bread and all of that. Candy. Soda. After cutting those things out of my diet completely for a while, they have lost ALL appeal. I do not miss these things in the least, and if I do take an experimental nibble, they taste pretty awful to me. Especially soda, gah, that stuff is disgusting. If you can get past the initial withdrawal and just go cold turkey on junk food, you may find that a nice salad is actually completely delicious. I am far, far from miserable in my healthy eating and regular exercise. It’s worth it to feel great all the time, and it’s surprisingly easy. Certainly easier than constant on-and-off dieting while always somewhat disliking my body.

57

Leaper, you sound a little like a spoiled teenager. If you cultivate a better outlook on life in general, there will be no joyless chores.

If you “act as if” soon enough it will be true. What I mean is, pretend to like what you do, whether exercise, healthy food or your job, after a while you’ll discover you actually DO like it.

58

I find both to rather enjoyable so I don’t know what your talking about. Get yourself a road bike and go for a long ride. You can’t tell me that’s not a good time.

59

well, I’m not really sold on the whole ‘free will’ thing so my feeling is…there will either come a time when you will decide that you need to do something more…or there won’t.
If that time doesn’t come, you probably will eventually die of disease related to poor diet and lack of exercise. Or, maybe not. Some people manage to beat the odds and live long lives in spite of their lack of care. I’d like to say that it’s entirely up to you. I’d like to say it, but I don’t believe it.

There may suddenly come a time when you decide ‘fuck this shit, I’m going to do something - I don’t know what, but I’m going to do something!’ And you may change your diet, suddenly find an ‘exercise’ or physical activity that you enjoy - and your whole life could change. I was going to say ‘for the better’, lol - but then I remembered reading about this guy who took up jogging and lost like a hundred pounds and was really doing great - until he got hit and killed by a hit/run driver while on his morning jog. So…you never really know what is going to work for you!

and now, I’m not sure what my point is for this post - something about if you’re not feeling it, you’re not going to maintain it. and whether or not you’re feeling it - is not a choice…

60

there are not many “always” in our world, but chocolate will “always” taste good.

Lookie here Leaper.
You lack motivation to effect change…why? who gives a shit, eventually what will happen is you’ll find yourself in a painful place, emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually and from that place you will be forced to make a choice. Continue your lazy life style and croak, lose a limb, go blind or get healthy. Pain is the great motivator. Since you are not in that place yet, you look at croaking, losing a limb or going blind as an abstract notion unrelated to you. Further you look at those who have croaked, lost a limb or gone blind as making that conscious choice for themselves when in reality perhaps they waited just a touch to long to make a change. Once that happens, you stop living and start coping. That an F’d up way to go through life in my opinion.