Edison's Conquest of Mars by Garrett P. Serviss

This is generally considered to be an unauthorized sequel to War of the Worlds by H. G. Wells, but in reality is an unauthorized sequel to an unauthorized bastardization of Wells book called Fighters From Mars: The War of the Worlds In and Near Boston. Sadly, it appears that only a portion of that book is electronically available.

Its an “interesting” read. Serviss lacks the chops of Wells and there’s no subtext to the book. Heck, there’s not even much text! And, IMHO, while the book is entertaining, its not a strong enough work to be read on its own, if you’re unfamiliar with Wells’ book.

Its not a horrible read, by any stretch of the imagination, and certainly better than the dreck pumped out by some of big name bestselling authors today. In terms of plot, characterization, and other such things, it comes in a bit behind E. E. “Doc” Smith’s work from just a few decades later. Putting it into something which modern folks might be familiar with, I’d say it was a slightly weaker version of Independence Day (which I find to be more enjoyable than that asteroid movie with Bruce Willis).

Where it fails is in the weak development of the characters (they’re sort of like the ones in the cover art of pulp magazines, placed there solely to appear aghast at what the dastardly aliens are doing), the inability to follow through with certain elements mentioned earlier in the book, and the decidedly stupid actions of the group in their battles with the Martians. What follows next is a detailed discussion of the events in the book (I’m sorry its long, but there doesn’t seem to be any way to trim it down and still get the important details across).

RAW THROBBING NAKED SPOILERS TO FOLLOW

It starts out some period of time after the close of Wells’ book. I haven’t read Fighters From Mars, so I’ve no idea of how that differs from Wells, besides the relocation of the events from England to Boston. Serviss’ has an unnamed narrator, but unlike the one in Wells book, we’ve no idea of his personal life, where he’s from, or what he might do for a living. He does, however, manage to know Thomas Edison.

All the Martians do not succumb to disease. A small group of survivors build an enormous cannon and send themselves back to Mars. The blast from this gun, flattens much of the northeastern US. Lest you think there is a great deal more to this part of the plot, Serviss devotes a whole two paragraphs to the subject and then never mentions it again.

Edison paws through the wreckage of some of the Martian’s equipment, and emerges from his lab with a disintegrator and an “electric ship” (never really described in shape, though it seems to be either saucer or tube shaped). This is where the narrator introduces us to Edison.

Edison, just doesn’t seem to be much of an entity in the book. There’s no depth to his character, and even though he’s there for much of it, he only seems to appear at various moments to drive the plot along. Really, his disintegrator and electric ship are the only things that he manages to build in the book. One would expect him to be like Scotty, whipping rabbits, gizmos, and whatever else was needed out of his ass like lightning. Instead, he’s reduced to spouting things which one would expect to be said by a character named “Captain Obvious,” save for the fact that the characters in the book are incapable of grasping these things until Edison says them.

Edison gives the narrator a demonstration of his disintegrator, then takes him on a flight to the Moon in the electric ship (remember this, for reasons I’ll explain later). In response to Edison’s discoveries a global conference is called for Washington DC where all the world leaders gather to discuss what they’re going to do, as it is believed that the Martians will be returning to attack the Earth.

Upon seeing a demonstration of what Edison’s gear can do, they ask what it will cost to build and equip an armada of ships. The price quoted is $25 billion, and the various nations get into a bidding war over who can contribute the most money (the US wins with a $2 billion commitment) to the enterprise. There’s a party immediately following this, and in something which seems rather stunning for those of us in the 21st Century, the Prince of Wales is portrayed as being one of the most intelligent people in gathering of leaders!

Edison builds his fleet (and is placed in charge of the expedition to Mars) which is manned by the brightest minds in the world. And while I can see the logic of wanting to have scientific types on the mission, are you really going to send Lord Kelvin on such a voyage? I don’t think so. (Sending Edison on the trip is also a pretty stupid idea for reasons I’ll get to in a bit.)

The shakedown cruise for the fleet is to the Moon, where they’re met with some problems. One of the ships gets holed by a passing meteor, and they have to enact repairs while on the Moon. They also discover a crater which is made up of some kind of gem stones, along with ruins of a lost civilization and giant human footprints on the surface. They then set off for Mars.

Remember way back up top, when I told you to remember the trip the narrator mentions taking a demonstration flight to the Moon with Edison? Here’s why: When they get halfway to Mars, Serviss finally gets around to mentioning that Edison’s electric ships have artificial gravity on board, and this keeps them from floating about on the inside of the things. He’s more than happy to discuss spacesuits worn by the crews before this, but the gravity thing escapes him until now. In fact, it reads like he suddenly found out that this would be an issue and stuck the answer in at this point.

Once our heroes approach Mars, they discover an asteroid orbiting near the planet with Martians on it. (This is not one of the Martian moons currently known, BTW. Nobody seems interested in giving it a name, which I find a bit peculiar.) They do battle with the Martians, quickly overwhelming them, and managing to capture one of them. The Martians are able to survive without spacesuits, thanks to an “air pill” which they must periodically swallow.

While exploring the asteroid, our heroes find out that not only is it made of gold (and promptly hurl nuggets back at the Earth for shits and giggles), but that the Martian they captured (who looks like a gigantic human in all respects, and this will be slightly contradicted later for reasons I’ll explain) is a “wildcatter.” The asteroid is being mined officially by the Martian government, but some private interests have been battling for control of the asteroid.

There’s another briefly described battle with the Martians sent by the government, and then our heroes streak off to Mars proper to do battle with the locals. This takes place over an enormous lake called “The Lake of the Sun” and because the Martians were expecting them, our heroes are forced to retreat with their tails tucked between their legs. In orbit, they form a war conference to try and figure out what to do. Help from Earth is impossible, since they have no way to communicate with the planet, and nobody there knows how to build more of the electric ships or disintegrators (as Edison’s the only one). The Martians have also flooded their atmosphere with an opaque cloud, obscuring the surface. Further complicating things is that the food stores on the ships have gone bad, leaving them with insufficient supplies for the return to Earth.

The army colonel who made his name in the various Indian wars in the American West, offers a plan to save them. A portion of the fleet will launch a diversionary attack on the forces around the Lake of the Sun, while a smaller force will land on the opposite side of Mars and conduct a raid to try and gather some supplies and intel. The raiding party consists of the Narrator, Edison, the army colonel, and one other gentleman (don’t remember his name, and frankly, none of the characters are all that distinct).

Coming down in a relatively remote area, they discover that Mars is a lush planet, filled with large trees. (Thus contracting Wells in it being a dying world.) Seeing a house lit up in a wide open area, they land and conduct their raid, capturing a beautiful human female in the process, along with stores of “compressed food.”

After a few hours with one of the linguists, it turns out that the woman speaks the Indo-European language which is the “mother tongue” that all other languages have branched off from. We then find out that she’s the descendant of humans captured on Earth some 9K (or so) years ago, after the Martian pyramid building efforts in Egypt didn’t go so well. She’s the sole survivor of the descendants, the rest having been killed in response to the attack by the Earthlings. (She was saved because she was a good singer, the Martians never having developed music, but being able to appreciate it.)

She gives the Earthlings the key to being able to defeat the Martians. The continents of Mars are below the levels of the oceans of Mars, except for a few high points. The oceans are kept in check by a giant lock and dam system, which Aina (the rescued girl) just happened to have visited as a young girl. According to her, there’s one wheel, which if turned, will open all the gates and flood the entire planet.

Now, what would you do in such a situation? Would you promptly fly to the location, zap the entire facility with a disintegrator ray, thus wiping it out and ensuring that nobody could come in at the last moment and shut the valve? Well, if you’re Edison and company, that is exactly what you would not do. Instead, you’d fly to the location, send in a raiding party, try to puzzle out which was the right wheel to turn.

They manage to pull the raid off, thanks to Edison’s lucky guess about which wheel to turn, but are nearly killed by the unleashed waters. They then follow the rising tide of water towards the palace of the Martian emperor. Along the way, they spot a 40 foot tall woman, whom they are unable to rescue, despite their efforts. (The woman is a captured prisoner from Ceres, with whom the Martians are at war with.) Its never really explained what they’d do with the woman once they’d rescued her, and its certainly implied that they wouldn’t be able to fit her into one of their ships.

Arriving at the palace, they briefly fight their way into the hall of the Martian emperor, who has a large number of misshapen bumps on his otherwise human (though enormous head). The Martians, it turns out, educate their people by specialized rays which don’t impart knowledge, but do enlarge those portions of the skull related various aspects of intelligence (Serviss is apparently a big fan of phrenology). Female Martians are given a “general” education, so their heads appear to be normal (though large as is fitting with their tremendous stature).

Eliciting a surrender from the Martians, our heroes leave for Earth. The colonel, watching as the Martians wave the Earthlings goodbye, becomes enraged after seeing the Martian emperor kill one of his wives who accidentally bumps him, and promptly vaporizes the emperor. There’s some concern amongst the party about this, but Aina reassures them, saying that if the Martians were able to recover from having 99% of their planet flooded, the emperor would have launched a retaliatory strike against the Earth.

Back on Earth, the heroes don’t pick a landing point like Washington DC or NYC. Instead, they hover over the ocean, allowing the Earth to rotate beneath them to carry them to their final destination. As they pass over parts of the world where crew members are from, the ships land and deposit their crews, while dropping leaflets in the local tongue describing their exploits. The book ends with Aina marrying one of the members of the raiding party which rescued her. (Much to the dismay of one of the other members of the party.)

If life gives you Edisons, make Edisonade.

Interesting. At the moment, I’m reading War of The Worlds New Millennium (What if the Martians Launched Their Attack Tomorrow?) by Douglas Niles. Basically War of the Worlds set in 2005.

Picked it up at Dollar General for a Buck… it’s not too bad, but it’s a little slow going at first… kinda poor and uninspired character development. It probably came out before or concurrent to Spielberg’s WOTW movie riding the hype and is basically a similar treatment but from the earth scientists and military POV. I give it 3 out of 5 stars about a third of the way in… interesting pulp.

4sj ran this sucker in the Perry Rhodan books - I’ll give the exact numbers when I get home.
Serviss wrote sf oriented penny dreadfuls, probably one a week. When you do that, and remember you left something out, you put it in right there. No going back and revising!