Refuted or not, the whole hypothesis of anything starchy and crusty and brown being bad for you makes me depressed, too. To counterbalance this reaction, I give you:
Carcinogenic Garlic Fries
(serves two generously)
Peel and cut into sticks two large baking potatoes. Fry the sticks in a large skillet in a generous amount of vegetable oil under a low/medium heat until the potatoes are soft but not browned. Remove the potatoes, turn up the heat until the oil sizzles vigorously when a french fry is reintroduced, and cautiously reintroduce all the fries to the oil. While the fries are browning, finely chop together one peeled clove of garlic and a small handful of parsley until they are a fine mince. Grate into this mixture the yellow part only of the rind of 1/2 of a lemon.
When the fries are browned and crisp to your taste, drain them on paper towels, and while they are still sizzling hot, sprinkle them with the garlic/parsley/rind mixture (the heat will slightly cook the garlic and take away the strong raw flavor). Shake lots of fine salt over the fries and serve with cold beer.
Identify all unhealthy ingredients in this recipe and win a big fat nicotine-laden cigar!