I hope you’re kidding.
Me? About what? 
Are you hoping for a raise?
There’s also the UTD method, but for that you need knee pads.
Now spiked heels on the table is what I’d like to see more of. 
I’ve impressed too many ladies minding my elbows and opening doors to stop now.
Geez, better not see the queen more than two times, it could get very complicated to follow the tradition.
Three times: both elbows and a knee.
Four times: elbows and knees
Five times: ehhh… better not.
To Fyodor:
I don’t buy it. When the servant comes to you, you can simply move out of his way. You are resting your elbows on the table, not dropping them off there.
Let me tell you something; MRs. RickJay was at a luncheon with Her Majesty in 2001, and The QUEEN puts her elbows on the table.
If the Queen of England puts her elbows on the table, it’s all right to do.
Working on My dad’s example: if you had met the queen more than twice you were also allowed to burp, fart, cough, blow your nose and spill food down your front.
This is why I am less than sure about this tradition.
Owl
Who has met the Queen more than twice and has informed his kids of the rules.
So I’d have thought, till I saw it. Meat-and-three-veg, though, was exactly what he was eating – and without any apparent difficulty. Practice, I suppose.
Now that you mention a cowboy eating beans, I realise why the posture looked familiar. I didn’t get it at the time because you don’t expect to meet many cowboys in pubs in rural Northumberland market towns.
I’ve seen elbows on the table prohibited in places other than the dining table, such as school desks. We had a teacher who threatened to pull out our elbows such that our chins would drop suddenly and embaress us. I think part of the no elbows on tables thing is an effort to teach children good posture. If you are propped up on your elbows, then you aren’t sitting up straight.
There often is a rationalization for sadism, particularly on the part of duly constipated authorities. (Seen The Magdalene Sisters yet?)
An even worse faux pas is not welcoming a new member to the boards.
Welcome, Constantine!
Thank you. I appreciate it (especially since I was beginning to fear that I was displaying a bit of a chip on my shoulder that might have made me a trifle unwelcome to some).
That last one was a bit of an overreaction, I suppose. That does seem like the most likely explanation.
The elbows on the table prohibition is outdated. Back in the day, floors were rarely level, nor tables well constructed. Putting your elbows on the table would rock the table, threatening glassware, and annoying everyone.
That’s an even better explanation.
Frankly, I’m satisfied with Mentor and Liar’s explanation. It’s not only the most reasonable, it’s the only reasonable explanation I can see. Whether or not it’s right, all this goes to show that:
(1) people often make hard-and-fast rules out of reactions to specific situations (especially when they are so pervasive that they have difficulty imagining that they can be any different);
(2) they continue observing these rules even when the reasons for them no longer apply or have even been forgotten; and
(3) if they have forgotten the reason, they will invent new ones.
I had a good laugh. When my sibs and I were young my mother used to call us a “bunch of heathens” if we put our elbows on the table during meals.
Yes, for does the Bible not say:
[…] and God spake onto the nations of the world: Lay thine elbows not on mine table, but in thy laps, lest thou incur My Wrath […]
Don’t mean to blaspheme if this really isn’t in the Bible, but since Timothy said “those things” about women in his Carthage letters I wouldn’t be suprised…