A vacation where I don’t have to wear a bra! Hot damn, count me in!!!
I once had a position where I did some support in the Mass penal system’s health centers.
I was the only one of the 4 members of my team that could visit the any of the system’s locations. The other 3 had some sort of legal case open (not going into what/why here), and therefore were not allowed in.
I had to give notice 24 hours in advance that I was going to be making a service call, and provide my name, ssn, date and place of birth. They ran that through the system (I’d assume NCIC) to see if I had any active wants/warrents/pending cases/history.
Most places (medium/high security) I had a constant escort, was run through a metal detector, and all my tools (including nuts and bolts) were inventoried, and needed to be accouted for on exit. No watches, no jewelery, no wallet.
At a few places (minimum security) I was allowed to come and go as I pleased, and could bring in any tools I needed/wanted (My leatherman is pretty much my “do all” tool).
I’m glad I got to visit as a worker a few times, but I’m glad that I don’t have to visit regularly, nor spend time as an inmate!
-Butler
You guys made threadspotting!
An Aussie prison story.
Near where I live is a minimum security prison that has its own farmland. I went there to visit when they had an open day many years ago and it looked like serving time there was no harder than being in the Army - better really because it was all single rooms. If you went to the pub nearby you could often bump into prisoners who had granted themselves a leave pass for a few hours. I discovered that the prison sold bags of their fresh organic vegetables really cheap and started picking up a bag every couple of weeks.
The government for some reason decided to make the prison a women’s prison and after they did the bags of vegetables changed, they no longer contained potatoes or onions or carrots or any kind of root crop. They just contained bulky easy harvest vegetables. On asking the guys at the prison why this was they said that the women didn’t like to get their hands dirty and although they would sow the crops they would not dig them up.
It seemed really Australian to me that you could be in prison yet still tell the authorities what you were willing to do.
Nah, don’t be so modest. It was just because you’re a total babe 
Quoth Keapon Laffin:
No, no, no… Don’t you know anything? She sang a song to make her hair grow long, and wove a black cloak out of some of it. She used the rest to make a rope, and brushed the edges of the cloak against her guards to send them into a deep sleep. Then, with the cloak wrapped around her, it was so dark she couldn’t be seen, and she escaped out the window using the rope and went off to find her love.
Sheesh, I though everyone knew about that!
What elfbabe said. The event occurs annually, on one weekend. This is the 2nd year we did it. I only take people in on the Friday night tour, because I really don’t want to schlep all the way to work on Saturday, my day off, to lead a tour on the second day.
And my list is long of people who want tours. Of course, I get to be capricious and arbitrary, and choose only those who manage to please me!
The background check consists of searching the Wisconsin criminal data base to make sure a visitor is not currently in prison someplace else in Wisconsin, or on parole or probation.
Hey, I don’t need to sing any songs for THAT. And my love’s right over there, with my laptop! Although he probably could vouch for the sleep-inducing powers of my hair, so you got that part right.
[hijack]
I grew up in that town. I didn’t live there when they filmed the movie, so when it came out, I spent two hours peering at the background, saying to myself, “Man. That looks familiar.” 'Cause for an entire summer, I commuted past that prison at least twice a day. I made my friends stay to the end of the credits to confirm that, yes indeed, the vast majority of that movie was filmed in my hometown.
That is all.
[/hijack]
Sure, but that wouldn’t be called elfbabe goes to prison. That would be elfbabe’s routine Saturday afternoon: Same ol’, same ol’.
::Allan Smithee frantically begins calling Kraft Foods Ltd, Australia to discuss shipping arangements.::
Am I the only one who gets tiny shivers at the thought of Qadgop’s Prison?
I am?
OK. Nevermind.
That’s exactly how I’ve always envisioned the SDMB Moderator Room!
:dubious:
Are these sexy-shivers or scared-shivers?
Because Qadgop isn’t THAT kind of prison doctor, and it’s not THAT kind of prison. Hem hem. :o
Can anyone please explain what is supposed to be funny about “Mercotan, let us out, man!” Am I that humor-impaired or is it some kind of inside joke or what?
Ambushed - to me, it was funny because he spent so much energy to get through a request that was both really mundane and obviously impossible for Qad to fulfill.
Okay, I’ll buy that. I didn’t really want to piss on your parade anyway. Thanks.
Whoot! Happy Drugs for everyone! 