(A very good friend posted the following on another forum, got very little traction, so I am posting it here because, well honestly I don’t know, other than it’s timely.)
Well, there’s a new Elvis biopic coming out on June 24. Every generation gets to have one.
This one stars Austin Butler (he played Tex in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood) as Elvis, with Tom Hanks as the Colonel. Directed by Baz Luhrmann, Mr. Over-the-Top, and by the trailer it won’t disappoint fans of stylish spectacle with weird camera angles. This time, it will apparently focus on how Tom Parker ruined Elvis, or maybe saved him - you know, a new twist where Tom is actually the misunderstood good guy. Who knows?
But I don’t see why we need a Life of the King picture now. No matter how you slice it, it will be criticized by the fans but still sell lots of tickets, and will come and go and another take on Elvis will be attempted in ten years.
What would I rather see personally? How about a new Elvis travelogue picture! You know, all those films that were churned out in the sixties, with Elvis playing an Elvis-like character in some exotic location or with the King in some lowly occupation who just has to prove it to 'em - and does! And the girls are all after him, but eventually he finds the Right One. And there are plot-advancing songs sprinkled throughout.
Okay, I admit I never sat through any of these; I suspect you either own all of them on VHS, then bought them again on DVD, or else avoided them like monkey pox - but hear me out. If done properly, it could be quite entertaining, and respectful but also genuinely funny - the template for an absurd script full of unlikely contrivances - coincidental meeting with powerful benefactor, first blush of success, then a setback, then just when our boy is ready to give up and go back to Kansas, whoom! Amazing reversal of fortune, gets the girl (the good one), sings one more upbeat song of triumph (you could actually write some good ones), and that’s a wrap. I’m thinking a parody like Walk Hard, the fake Johnny Cash story, but with “Elvis” as “Brick Sheridan” or some silly name, in some silly studio assembly line nonsense that’s actually an affectionate parody of the whole slate of crank-'em-outs that Elvis showed up for and dutifully pantomimed, because deep down he was really insecure and did what he was told, and you could see it in his eyes, but hell, everyone was getting rich and this is how you did it.
All you need is a title. Here are a few.
Rambunctious!
Señor Caballero
Tropical Girls, and Lots of Them
It Happened Again at a Different World’s Fair
Goin’ Native in Vatican City
Chase That Mirage
Jump On That Delusion
Kid Fisticuffs
Headlong!
Blue Trouble
Okay, your turn to think of an Elvis movie title. Millions could ride on this!