So over the past couple of years, I’ve gotten the email that says “You know you’re living in 2005 when…” and it contains pithy observations like “You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years,” and “You make phone calls from home and accidentally dial ‘9’ to get an outside line.”
It’s been saying the same thing since 2003. When are we going to get to the next set of cultural/technological milestones? To that end, I’ve re-done the list. Please feel free to add to it:
You know you’re living in 2037 when…
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The AI in your microwave is smarter than you
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You haven’t played Milestone with a real inverted tram-bar in years.
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The list of your holo-memory cards has subsumed its main sub-set.
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You teleport to talk the person in the cubicle next to you.
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Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that collapse in the Worm Hole, even thought they cleaned that mess up 4 years ago.
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You teleport home after work, only to realize that because you work from a home workspace, the total distance traveled was less than a yard.
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When you dial out from your holo-deck from home, you use a standard 3-2-3 link, instead of the domestic 5-8-5 pickup. Can you say “overage?”
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You’ve sat at the same desk for 48 years because it was your wish to be cryogenically frozen there.
Þ) You’ve never triangulated the Major Arch in a conversion Spinner before.
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You learn about your death in the future from the Faster-Than-Light News Network.
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Your alien Overlord doesn’t have the ability to breathe Earth-air, and instead, must have it imported at an astronomical cost.
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You hover up to your own driveway, only to find your house has forgotten your voice imprint - again!
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Every commercial on television utilizes the same old boring subliminal holo-images, just like they have for the past eight years.
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Leaving the house without your Transcendent Neutralizer makes you break out in a rash, due to the toxicity of the atmosphere outside the Dome.
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You get up in the morning and dial “0” to become fully awake.
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You have to learn a new language just to greet the owner of the convenience store down the road - and it consists mainly of grunts and squeals.
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You’re reading this in a virtual scanning format, as opposed to the old 12-bit High-Gain system.
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Even worse, you know exactly who you can send this to using a B7 protocol, if the VSF isn’t compatible.
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You are too busy to notice that the number “9” has been replaced by the figure of K’Palh, the Destroyer.
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You looked over your shoulder when you read the forbidden name of the Destroyer, in case his Overlords are monitoring you.
AND NOW YOU’RE SWEATING, because you know exactly what the punishment will be if they ever caught you.
You know who you are - and so do they. Be warned.