Embarrassing Nicknames for Your SO

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I had to inquire, because I am the queen of embarrassing corny nicknames.

I have called my husband many things. For about two solid years I referred to him as, “My Little Pumpernickel Loaf.” Eventually of course that just got shortened to “Loaf.” My favorite thing to do was chant, “I love you, Loaf. I loaf you, Love.”

The one that really seems to have stuck, though is “Squishy.” Well because he squishes, of course. At this point the verb “Squish” is synonymous with “Love” so we are frequently seen announcing, “I Squish you!” Some of our friends call us Mr. and Mrs. Squishy.

I had a friend who called her fiance “Shmoopy.” Eventually she started calling him “Shmoop-a-lump.” Since we were all room-mates at the time and I was already calling Mr. Olives “Squishy,” this had soon evolved into “Squish-a-lope.”

So we had “Shmoop-a-lump” and “Squish-a-lope.” Now whenever my husband and I get ready to retire to bed, we call it “Migrating like the wild Squishalope.”

The absolute worst name I came up with for Dominic was “SpongeDom SquishyPants.” It didn’t stick… he thinks “SquishyPants” has unpleasant connotations. :slight_smile:

Dom’s nicknames for me are relatively tame. The best is, “My Little Sea Cucumber.” Oh, and there’s always, “My Little Shoehorn” which is a joke we gleaned from comedienne Elvira Kurtz (the gist of the joke is, “You can always tell when someone has had a lot of partners, because they run out of cute names to call their SO…”)

So does this last forever? I’ve known my husband for 6 years, but we’ve been married only 7 months. Will we still resort to such ridiculous behavior 20 years down the road? I sure hope so.

C’mon, fess up. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever called an SO?

2

Shit. We’ve been at the Obnoxious Names thing for like 19 years now.

Honey and Bunny (I can be either Honey OR Bunny…he can only be Bunny). Fucking kill me. This one has been put to bed.

Boy Head and Girl Face.

Q and Doodle (or “Doo” for short).

My Dahlink.

HooneyGirl and LoschieBoy.

Eeeew…it’s way worse to see it in writing. Eeeeew…

3

My Jewish, video-game-playing wife (named Julia) is, after a bout of l33tspeak, nicknamed in all places “J00”. Pronounced “zhyooooooo”, and drawn out as needed for effect.

Married almost two years, been dating almost five.

She calls me sillymittens, for no clear reason. I generally waggle my hands with fingers held together in response, until she knitted me these.

4

I want alligator mittens! Those are cool Zeriel.

My name for brussels sprouts is fart blossoms.

Da boyfriend calls me that whenever I get a tad… shall we… say gaseous.

He goes all Charles Boyer on me:

“Zere you aaaare mon petite fart blossom!”
:smiley:

5

Wow…that one is just harsh. Of course, I’ve been known to call my wife Linda “Linnie the Pooh”, so ya know, six of one…

6

The first girl I ever dated wanted me to call her “Boo-Boo”, and for her to call me “Yogi”. Umm… yeah, that one didn’t last too long.

7

Well. To be honest, and I wouldn’t be anything else even though it sounds really bad, we affectionally call each other “Asshole” and “Bitch” most of the time. :smiley: Or get into contests to come up with the most disgusting names we can call each other, followed by massive giggle-fits. We’re not normal, in case you hadn’t guessed, nor particularly bothered by profanity or toilet humor in spite of both being in our 40’s. And yet, all our friends still think we’re the most disgustingly “in love” couple they know, after 12.5 years of marriage and almost 14 years together.

8

You’ll get no argument from me!

I call my husband “Dear”. Dumb nicknames are reserved for the children and cats. (I like to drop the boy off at school, then crank down the window and yell, “Have a nice day, Mumsy’s Little Sugar Possum!”)

9

I acquired my nickname for wife, “Buttly” short for butthead, from her father. Apparently, her father felt she could be quite stubborn at times as a teenager and came up with that charming moniker for her, which has stuck and been passed on.

10

I feel so… plain vanilla. Aside from our given names, all we ever call each other is “honey” or “sweetie”.

11

Best compliment ever! I only hope to be so maligned someday. :slight_smile:

12

“Pookie-butt” was probably the best (or worst, whichever) I’ve come up with. Been a few years since that, tho.

13

He’s Pookie. (Full name: Shmall Pookie.) I’m Smoochie.

14

My wife and I call each other “loon” and “goofball.”

Pretty tame, I know.

15

My SO and I have been together almost 20 years. Depending on his mood and behavior, I call him either Captain Crankypants or Pork Chop of Love.

He’s way too smart to call me anything but “ma’am”.

My mother tells me that her grandmother always referred to her husband as “Mr. Johnson” (where Johnson = his real last name) - even in direct address.

16

I call her Dora The Explorer.

Here’s a side by side comparison. I think the resemblance is uncanny.

Here’s another picture.

She used to have more of a Dora haircut as you can see here.

Whenever I see something with Dora the Explorer on it, I take a picture of it on my cell phone and send it to her.

17

We are Tiger Bear and Bunny Cat. That’s pretty tame.

An ex and I used to call each other Monster Doggy. We had built up an entire mythos about monster doggies, like what they eat, where they shop, what grades they get in school… It was a little demented.