My brother and I have had this affliction ever since we’ve been little. If a TV or movie character is being embarrassed, we have to leave the room because we get embarrassed too. If leaving the room isn’t viable, we stay and squirm. I can feel my face turning red and anxious butterflies in my stomach. Does anyone else have a similar reaction?
For example, last night’s episode of “Arrested Development” where they showed a young George Michael re-enacting a lightsaber fight was painful for me. Yet with that show if you leave the room, you miss dozens of jokes so I toughed it out. Oddly enough, I have no trouble with characters in books getting embarrassed.
I alway hate it when a charactor is in a situation that would be unbelieveable in real life, such as three subplots involving over-heard conversations. I don’t have to leave the room, but I feel quite embarresed on behalf of the writters.
I do this too. I can handle blood and gore–I never had to turn away from “The Passion.” I can handle emotionally wrenching dark comedies–I found parts of “Happyness” laugh-out-loud funny. I can handle gross-out humor–films from John Water’s salad days were among the first I bought. I can handle bizarre sexual acts–I’ve been on the internet since I was a teen.
But social embarassment? ACK!!! WTF is the remote! Fast forward, fast forward!
Remember in that movie with Ed Norton and Ben Stiller when Ed Norton is telling Jenna Elfman that he loves her and he thinks she loves him too but OH NO she loved Ben Stiller?
Cringe City! That was the worst. I know a lot of people nearly barfed.
When I was a kid, it would make me really upset when a character in a story was humiliated. A lot of times they seem to do that in kid’s books to show the kid being bullied or misunderstood. I agree, I’d rather read about someone getting her head chopped off than having her dignity violated, but I guess that makes drama.
The movie in question is “Keeping the Faith.” As far as romantic comedies go it was decent. I understand your reaction to Arrested Development last night though; the first time they showed his lightsaber fight was funny since it was just in front of his family, but at the school assembly? I could feel my inner self shriveling up in sympathy shame even while I laughed until I almost cried.
I’ve got the same problem. Like the scene in “About a Boy” where the kid is singing in front of the entire school. Even if the character isn’t embarassed, if it’s a situation where I would be embarassed, I feel it. But, it has lessened a lot as I get older. When I was a teen, I’d actually blush and have to leave the room. Now I’m just uncomfortable.
Arrested Development and The Office both have a lot of painful, awkward, embarrassing moments for the characters. Another scene that makes me cringe is the great movie Swingers, when Mike (Jon Favreau) keeps calling a girl’s answering machine and leaving long, rambling messages until the tape cuts him off, then calls back and does it again. He’s not a psycho, just nervous and out of practice. At the end of an excruciatingly-long sequence, the girl finally picks up the phone and asks him not to call her again. I can still watch it, though.
Interestingly, Metacom listed some stuff I have a lot less tolerance for: scenes of intense gore, torture, and sadism (as in The Passion and lots of horror movies), and gross, bizarre depravity in the name of humor (as in John Waters’ Pink Flamingos, Happiness, and another movie I hate called The Doom Generation). I’d just as soon not see that stuff at all.
Oh man, I do this too regarding social embarrassment/humiliation - if I can’t leave, I just squirm (outwardly and/or inwardly) and cringe at seeing what they’re dealing with.
As a kid, I often wanted to leave the room when something like that was about to happen. It was more if the character was about to do something incredibly stupid in a social situation, and I put my reaction down not to the embarassment, but to the idiocy of them doing it.
Oh, Ben Affleck’s big idea that he thinks will save his relationship and his friendship at the end of Chasing Amy but ends up dooming both – you can tell what he’s going to say, and you can’t help but cringe or scream at the TV for him to not say it. That part is hard to watch.
Yay, I’m not alone! I have to say most of Ben Stiller’s movies are squirmfests for me. That’s why I LOATHE “Meet the Parents”. You’d think it would be easier if you can predict a foreshadowed humiliation, but nooo. The foreshadowing just hypes up the dread and panic.
My strongest desire to leave the room comes whenever there is an awkward guy asking a girl for a date – I suffer horribly in the poor fellow’s humiliation.
I felt strongly enough about this that I posted a thread about it a couple of years ago. Lots of good comments there, but since it’s ancient, post here and not there.
If you ever get a chance to watch the UK version of The Office(haven’t seen any of the US version yet) or Alan Partridge you will curl up in a ball and weep.
I watched The Office from outside the room with my head around the door on occasions. My balls actually ached after one particular episode. Comic brilliance.
Put me down as another Squirmer. I often look away from the TV if something particularly awkward is going on. Fawlty Towers and Frasier are both pretty tough to sit through embarrassment-wise, though I think the all-time champion has got to be The Office.
My best friend and I do this every time we watch a movie or TV show together. I thought that we were just wierd, but I feel such a sense of relief that there are others of us out there.
My sister and I used to bury our faces in the couch together. Everyone else thought we were crazy and it was the only stuff we had to turn away. No amount of sex or gore could move us nearly as much. Now I just look away or if I am watching tv, leave the room to get something to eat.
This would happen to me when I would watch reruns of Candid Camera. Some situations would get just so embarrassing for the “victim” that I would turn down the sound or temporarily change the channel. I’m just too soft-hearted that way.
