Ahhh. It feels good to be back. Well here it is…
The Christian Religion
By: Eli Samaha
In the Bible and as common belief, " All whom believe in me shall go to heaven."- Well, about 1/2 of the world is not christian. So where are they going to go?- Not to heaven as the quote said. But to hell. For worshipping another god. Well, I must say, Hell is not freezing over any time soon with all the body temp. contributing.
Eli Samaha
Not that I’m a Christian (I’m not) or that I’m trying to defend the religion, but I can’t stand to see illogical thinking. Especially when it comes from Palidors (though I’ve come to expect it).
The quote says NOTHING about non-Christians. It doesn’t say they’re going to hell, and it doesn’t say they’re not going to heaven. So what’s the point?
Ah, I guess there is none.
Umm…“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord’ shall enter the Kingdom, but he who does the will of my Father.” Doesn’t quite sound like what Palidors is promulgating.
BTW, I wish I’d remembered that quote when ARG was posting!
Palidors, your pearls of wisdom never fail to enlighten us.
Just kidding.
If you can’t laugh at yourself,
make fun of other people.
Palidors:
See [URL: ["]http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/000380.html]](http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/000380.html) Are all moral atheists damned?
It deals with a bit of what you are asking.
Cessandra
My Homepage Updated 9/27/99!
The RHPS: Website For Virgins Updated 9/27/99!
Damn! I thought I’d figured that code out!
Palidors the troll, meet Steve the brick.
::WHAP::
Let’s look at it logically, eh?
If C then H
Starting with that assumption, one can say nothing but Christians will go to Heaven, no more. It may very well be true that
If not C then not H
but you won’t find that anywhere in the Bible. The Bible says over and over again that Heaven is only acheivable in one way, but that’s it. Hell? It’s not mentioned in the Bible. John Milton mentioned a 'burning lake of brimstone" and the fiery pit was a popular image for feudal lords to use to keep the serfs in line, but can you find Hell in the Bible? Not in the old testament, I know that Hell is a foreign concept to Jews. The old testament is mostly about Jesus, and he was more of a mind to talk about the carrot, and not the stick (at least as the disciples portrayed him).
Where, exactly, did you get this ungrammatical quote? Or did you just make it up?
Also:
You mean the New Testament, right?
I’m surprised nobody’s questioned this yet:
Shouldn’t that “1/2” be more like “9/10,” or even higher?
Rich
What is truly funny is that Palidors here things this is the “End of all ends to the religion topic”. Heck, this isn’t nearly as interesting as even my “Where have all the miracles gone?” which was tame & boring by “Salvation 101” & other thread’s standards. I get the impression that Palidors considers this to be check and mate for all the “poor misguided” Christian’s out there.
What more could you expect from somebody who lets people kick him to the head?
Hmm…
::searching the hard drive…ah, here it is::
{long post alert}
A retiring Phys Chem professor was setting his last exam, for a graduate course in statistical thermodynamics. Being a bit bored with it all, and with a well kept and wry sense of humor, he set a single question on the sheet:
Is Hell endothermic or exothermic? Support your answer with a proof.
He had little idea what to expect, or how to grade the results, but decided to reward any student who was able to come up with a reasonable reply to his query. One “A” was awarded.
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law or some variant. The top student however wrote the following:
First, we postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into Hell and at what rate are the souls leaving?
I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore no souls are leaving.
As for souls entering hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of volume in hell. Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. There are two possible conditions.
One, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase exponentially until all hell breaks loose.
Conversely, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, than the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over, condition two.
We can solve this with the 1990 postulation of Theresa LeClair, the girl who lived across the hall from me in first year residence. Since I have still not been successful in obtaining sexual relations with her, condition two above has not been met, and thus it can be concluded that condition one is true, and hell is exothermic.
Designated Optional Signature at Bottom of Post
Hey, that story leads off the chapter on “Campus Capers” in Jan Harold Brunvand’s newest urban legend book, Too Good To Be True. 
The immense wisdom acquired by Palidors during his/her 13 very long years of existence has totally overwhelmed all of the lesser minds on this board. After the months of serious, intelligent, sometimes vitriolic debate on this matter, a mere 13 year old has spoken, and swept away all dissenting opinions in one brief paragraph.
I hereby declare that the religion issue is settled, and there is no further need to debate the matter. Let us all observe a moment of silence out of respect for this momentous occasion!
(Gee - can somebody e-mail ARG and ask him to come back?)
If there is room for doubt - doubt!
About 2/3 of the world’s people are not Christian. Or, by Jodi’s definition, 99 and 44/100%.
::ducking jodih’s wrath::
“Eppur, si muove!” - Galileo Galilei
Duck my wrath, will you??? Actually, I don’t know why you’d be wrathful. I don’t have the figures on current Christian population handy (and no desire to look them up), but I’d be interested to hear what they are if anyone else wants to do the leg-work. Incidentally, my “definition” of Christianity would not exclude most of those who claim the title. On the issue of “who is a Christian” I have only ever said: (1) as a practical matter, it’s generally prudent to assume that those who claim to be Christian are Christian; but (2) there must be some rational definition of Christianity which would necessarily exclude those who do not meet that definition. That’s all.
Make that “Actually, I don’t know why you’d think I’d be wrathful.” Or something.
Hey, that was my article!
But at any rate, I’m not going to take my usual tack of being lured into a religious argument, but (in Palidor’s OP) “common belief” bites he big one here. The idea that unbelievers in Christianity go to hell is not a biblical teaching. Hell, according to the bible, was created for “the devil and his angels.” Taken as a whole, the Bible is a little unclear about what happens to unbelievers, although a kind of permanent destruction is implied in a few places.
On the other hand, Jesus seems to leave room for another interpretation as well. In one of his parables, he mentions that a debtor (a metaphor for a “sinner”) will not be released from prison "until he has paid the last penny. So, the option is open for an interpretation of some sort of purgatory as well.
Saint Eutychus
www.disneyshorts.org
A very wise preacher once remarked, “A parable is a story with a point. Try to read more into it than the point, and you’re bound to go astray.” The only problem there is determining what the point is.
Thanks, Euty, for a very useful bunch of statistics. (I’m just waiting for Phil to say “We’re number two; we try harder.”) 