Enough with the fucking perfume samples!

So today I picked up two magazines, because they had articles on people I’m interested and such; (GQ had an interview with Keith Olbermann and InStyle had a feature about Kate Winslet, plus some really cool fashion stuff) and I must have spent at least fifteen minutes pulling various perfume and cologne samples out of said magazines before I could sit down and actually READ them.

What the FUCK? Do I come to your house and spray stinkspray all over the place? Why oh WHY is this considered acceptable? And why always MULTIPLE ones, so the entire magazine reeks worse than a French whore during a Naval parade?

Goddammit, so many people have migraines and the like that are triggered by those goddamned things, so must they go without reading your magazines? I don’t know ANYONE who actually likes them.

Fuck perfume samples! :mad:

I feel your pain. I remember the time I went to the doctor with inner ear trouble so bad that I couldn’t walk a straight line and kept throwing up from the dizziness. In the examining room was a magazine with those samples in it. Needless to say, the heavy scent did nothing to help my dizziness and nausea! I had to move as far away from it as possible and I’m happy to report that I didn’t actually puke in the examining room. But it was just awful!

And my parents are terribly sensitive to perfumes and such. They both get really sick if they’re around heavy colognes and the like–scented candles, strong hair spray, even certain soaps and lotions. I’m sure they’re not the only ones so affected, not by a long shot!

And really–how many times have you been reading a magazine and been swayed by those sample pages to run right out and buy perfume? My usual reaction to them is, “Phew!”

So yeah, I agree–they need to go!

I hate ALL of those shitty tipped-in ad cards. I go through my New Yorker and tear out every fucking advertising supplement before I try to read it.

I read the Times and the News on Sunday, but I shitcan all the ad mags and supplements on the way back from the newsstand (as well as the sports pages, the real estate sections, and the automobile section – this is fucking NEW YORK CITY; WHY is there an AUTOMOBILE SECTION IN THE FIRST PLACE???)

And I’ve pretty well given up on Bon Appetit, Gourmet, and all the other cooking magazines…there are so many ads it’s become impossible to tell them from the actual content. “Now…do they want me to use Grey Poupon mustard because the dish tastes better with Grey Poupon mustard, or because this recipe was placed and paid for by the motherfucking Cambell Soup Company?”

Sorry, I meant “motherfucking Kraft Foods.”

When I go home, any magazine that I bring into the house immediately must have all such perfume samples removed, because they really bother my mother.

Also, the scents all mix together! How is that possibly a good idea?

I’ve read that some magazines allow you to request sample-free editions. You might want to call the magazine’s subscription department and ask if they offer that option.

Sounds like a plan, actually. Vote with your wallet.

I agree that the perfumed/cologned inserts are annoying and often repulsive, although I tend (by coincidence or design) not to read those magazines that include them.

But is there really evidence that a significant number of people suffer “migraines and the like” because of them?

I guess it depends how you define significant, and for that matter, evidence. If we take as true the testimony of people on this board, and assume that this board is representative of the population in general, then yes, I’d say it is significant.

Which is great if you’re a subscriber, but for someone like me, who just likes to pick up the occassional issue when there’s something that looks interesting in it, not so much.

Well, no, I don’t think I would assume that the SDMB comprises a valid statistical sample. And even if I did, the only one I’ve seen mention magazine-induced migraines so far is the OP.

I guess what I should have said—though it may not be appropriate for this forum----is “cite?”

My dog loves those samples! She comes running over when I get a new magazine. I rip them out and open them for her, she will take a minute to decide if she likes the scent. Then when she finds one that appeals to her, she will mash her face and neck in it and push her whole body over the strip, rolling in it in ecstasy. She usually prefers mens’ scents to womens’ and high end ones at that. There must be a component in them she likes. Then for the rest of the day I have a dog walking around that smells like Obsession or whatever.

Sometimes when people come over to the house wearing a scent that she likes she will pretty much try to lay on top of that person, and bury her head in their neck. Since she is a shepherd and not a lap dog this can be awkward and I have to pry her away.

She also does this sometimes in certain spots on a grassy lawn. It’s like she found some kind of scent that is like crack to her, she just goes nuts for it. I wonder what it is. It is hilarious to watch. One of these days I should tape it and send it to one of those funny video shows.

If writer Peter Mayle is correct, a not-much-publicized component of some scents is pipi de chatte, or cat piss. It adds a certain je ne sais quoi to some higher-end French perfumes. No wonder a dog wants to roll in it!

I gave up on Gourmet for all the reasons stated above. It used to be an informative, intelligent old-world style cooking magazine, and now it looks like People magazine with recipes. I subscribe to a French periodical now instead.

Well HELL, if that’s the case, I can smell like that for free!

:stuck_out_tongue:

Vinyl Turnip, perhaps I exaggerated when I said many, but I do know that those damned things give me a major headache, as they do my mother. And I don’t know ANYONE who actually likes them. Especially since, because there are multiples, they usually mix together and you can’t tell one from the other.

There’s worse.

I was 15, & shopping for Xmas.

I walked into a Dillard’s (I think), & got an facefull of perfume.

And an eyefull!

OUCH!

Damn perfume salesgirl!

:mad:

The only thing my dog likes to roll in is dead animals and shit. Hmmm.

And I agree with Guin that the inserts are offensive. I get an instant headache from the smell of perfume.

You people need to be more creative. I save those (unopened) pages and put them at my desk.

They are very convenient for those unfortunate episodes that may occur after the “bean burrito lunch special”.

I was reading a thread the other day that mentioned a mixture llama piss and pixie dust. I’ve trying to think of a use for that combination. Hmmm …

I’m seeing a color, full-page ad: “Guys, want to win the heart of that hot geek girl in your chemistry lab? Forget Axe, try Eu de Cat Piss. Because, everyone knows, the way to heart is through her cat.”

Please forgive my twisted, inappropriate sense of humor.

My dogs like Eau De Dead Mouse/Bird/Bug.