Right here on these very boards there’ve been just a shitload of threads about vampires and zombies that I find imcomprehensible. What if vampires could do THIS? How do zombies do THAT? Who wins the zombie vampire war? I can’t bring myself to search for them and give cites, but they all could have the same response.
The answer is WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU THINK IT IS, BUBBA.
I didn’t realize my eyes were lubricated with both joy and sadness.
I want so badly to agree with the OP but I somehow got hooked on this whole True Blood series just this year.
The guy in me really digs “Anna Paquin Nudity”
Also, I want to be one of Minotaur lady’s minions. (If that’s what she even is. I’m not sure really.)
:rolleyes:
And I suppose my favorite textile has to do with how my mother never loved me*, right?
*Not actually true
My above generalization only applies if you have vampire fantasies. I didn’t say all women wanted to be seduced by a powerful, dark man and be completely powerless to him, I said the ones who hear the genre “vampire erotica” and don’t think “ew gross wtf!?!” all do.
Vampires are incredibly, insanely freaking boring and overdone. And having read the Twilight series (just so I could see what the fuss was about), I think I’ve had my share for the next decade.
Speaking of which, there’s an unofficial Twilight dildo being sold. I shit you not:
The latest ridiculous Twilight product? A sparkly dildo.
(yes, it follows the two-click rule)
(And zombie-vampires sound pretty damned cool.)
I always liked ghost stories best, myself.
I’m fine with hospital and cop shows following vampires out the door.
OK, I don’t hate vampires, not even sexy ones. But I think the OP does have a point. They’re a bit overexposed at the moment.
Overexposed and thriving, yet they burn up in sunlight. A delicious irony.
At least they know Meyer’s audience.
I think they need to work on their euphemisms, because “passing into the breaking dawn” sounds like the point of buying the thing, if you know what I mean.
The thing is, there will never be a time from here on out where there are fewer current vampire storylines than there are today. I mean barring a complete reworking of our culture. It’s called genre fiction. Just like comic books superheroes and soap operas vampires are a normative part of our culture. It’s really not very hard to be blissfully unaware of pop culture that you’re not interested in.
One thing about pop culture I never could stomach - all the damn vampires.
And zombies! Fucking 2HD undead! Not scary, and not worth that much XP.
I think plenty of men like vampires; they just fantasize about BEING the vampire, not be seduced by one. Or about being the one who kills the vampire. And not the teenage girl fantasy vampires like TwiVamps; the terrifying, badass slaughters-his-enemies-and-drinks-their-blood type. Kain of the Legacy of Kain series of video games comes to mind.
Which is a shame, because John Carpenter’s Vampires was fucking awesome!
I don’t even recognize many of the entries on your list. In addition to a half-dozen or so direct-to-DVD zombie flicks I’ve seen on cable that shouldn’t really count in this discussion, (eg: Zombie Honeymoon, Diary of the Dead, etc,) I would point out that you forgot:
Resident Evil (2002, 2004, 2007, part 4 scheduled to open in 2010)
Doom
Slither
Grindhouse: Planet Terror
To be fair, though, you also forgot a bunch of vampire movies:
Blade
Van Helsing
Underworld
30 Days of Night
I Am Legend (Kind of zombie-like, but can’t go in the sun = vampire)
According to IMDb, since 2000 there have been or are scheduled to be:
Where the OP is in for trouble is that if you notice, there are way more vampire movies listed as in production than zombie movies.
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I thought about reading Twilight. However, I drank some chocolate milk instead of the KoolAid.
Some vampire and werewolf fiction is very well done indeed. However, Sturgeon’s Law is in effect here, as with any other type of media. The stuff that’s written or produced simply because vampires are in this season is just about guaranteed to be crap.
Yeah, but how many of those zombie films have had anything like the massive popularity of garbage like Twilight.
Seriously, I hate the sort of Anne Rice “vampire = perfect lover” stuff so hard that not even the prospect of seeing Anna Paquin all naked and stuff could make me want to watch True Blood.
Zombies won’t jump the shark until someone turns them into sparkley romantic heroes.
“He slowly moved towards me and took my hand in what was left of his. We kissed. His rotting jaw was warm and softly gave way to my lips.”
How about instead we have vampire/cop and vampire/hospital shows.
The vampire cop has all sorts of plot potential, and one can imagine the struggle of the vampire doctor trying to operate with all that blood right there just for the taking…
Now, I don’t think zombie/cop has much that could work…and zombie/hospital seems a bad idea for all concerned.
The BBC show “Being Human” includes a vampire and werewolf that work in a hospital.