Scaramouche
My offering: Shakespeare’s chainsaw movie. Blood, gore, death, and dismemberment, all in iambic pentameter.
Starring Anthony Hopkins as the title character & Alan Cummings & Jessica Lange as his enemies.
Oh yes, and cannibalism, too!
My offerings–neither are original to me, but they make me smile.
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After encountering family problems, parental foibles and and social constraints, three young women get married.
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A girl is transported to a surreal landscape where she kills the first woman she encounters and then teams up with three total stranges to kill again.
An orphaned girl, despised and abused by her aunt who is her legal guardian, is sent away to a boarding school run by an oppressive, cruel, stingy, hypocritical man of God. In spite of the horrible conditions and the loss of her best friend, she takes full advantage of the chance for an education and grows into an intelligent and independent woman with strong moral character.
Later she takes on the post of governess in a lonely manor house, falls in love with the master, is menaced by the resident lunatic, runs away, finds some long-lost relations, comes into some money, and eventually lives happily ever after, having spent the whole book sticking to her convictions in spite of hell.
A distressed traveler fills in for an ailing campanologist, and later discovers that his efforts contributed to the untimely demise of a rival for the affections of the sick man. A country parson, emeralds, and inadequate drainage also figure into the story.