Entirely Benign, Appropriate Things That Make You Seethe

My sunroom is my favorite room in the house. In the summer, I love to hang out in the room in my underwear. Because of the fences, tree cover, etc., you can’t see in from any of my neighbors’ properties except for one. The neighbors to my left also have a sunroom, and from certain angles you can see into my sunroom, but they never went into their sunroom so it was all good.

But some new neighbors just moved in. And they like to hang out in their sunroom sometimes. Which is entirely appropriate behavior, but it makes me sad all the same.

Can anyone relate? Has anyone else been irritated by someone else’s entirely rational and appropriate behavior?

Now that the weather’s getting warm, I like to sit in my backyard with a nice beverage and experience the day. I’m in a suburb, but my yard is large and full of trees, so I can’t really see my neighbors. I enjoy the sounds of nature like the birds chirping and such. Very relaxing.

Then a neighbor starts running a power tool.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind a mower. It’s kind of a pleasant summery drone. But I swear to god some of my neighbors are processing lumber with industrial band saws. Or running giant wood chippers. One summer I think all the neighbors one street over were taking turns getting their ducts cleaned— there was a constant high-pitched whine day after day.

It’s not like they’re doing it late at night or at 7am on a Sunday. It’s at perfectly reasonable times. And I’m sure I’ve made my share of noise doing various chores in the past. But why do they have to do it when I’m sitting outside trying to enjoy my weekend afternoon??!?

There’s a lady at work who is my bitch eating crackers. :woman_shrugging:

There are lots of left-hand turn lights around here that will activate to go before the rest of the cars going straight coming from the same direction, but only if a car is waiting to make a left hand turn prior to a few seconds before the lights change. It is ungodly irritating when I come up to a left-hand turn with no other cars waiting, and the light turns green just before I get to the place where it will trigger the left-hand turn signal, especially because I will tend to not come into it too fast since, you know, the light’s red. It would require much more complicated detection devices to see if there’s traffic that might use the light a few seconds from now, but otherwise it makes sense that, if you’re going to have those sensors, they can only sense who’s already there, not who’s going to be there.

People who arrive first at a 4-way stop and then wait & wave the other 3 cars through first. I suppose they think they’re being nice, or perhaps they don’t know how intersections work. Such a waste of time.

I go to the grocery store early in the morning. There might be like two or three customers in there tops.

But despite there being so few customers, you can bet your ass at least one of them is going to be standing in the aisle, mulling over products, right where I need to be.


…and their cart is blocking the rest of the aisle?

In general I get irritated with people who seem to think they don’t take up any space. They walk down the center in the parking lot rather than moving to one side or the other so that cars can pass.

When I was driving a truck and wanted to make a right turn (think left turn if you drive on the wrong side of the road) from a main road into a minor road.

With a truck, it’s necessary to plan gear changes in advance, even with an automatic. So I approach the turn, looking at oncoming traffic to find a big enough gap to turn through.

There as a single car coming towards me with nothing behind. so I make ready to pass behind them. Then they stop and wave me through - grrrrr.

I am caught in the wrong gear and they have probably come so far forward that I can’t take the swing that I would prefer, forcing me to cut across the entrance to the side road.

I do tend to charge up to those lights fast, because I figure it’s more likely that I’ll get to the sensor in time if I do. But that just makes it more irritating when I don’t trigger the sensor, because I have to slam on my brakes and watch everyone else and drive past me!

I actually get irritated by this very reasonable rule (or, if not rule, then “etiquette”). I’m a morning person, and when it’s still cool out and I don’t have anywhere else to be is really the perfect time to use a power tool. I find it so irritating that it’s “improper” to do so until 9 AM!

The cashier and the customer in front of me holding up the line while they visit and shoot the breeze and catch up and gossip. Apparently it’s expected and normal in this culture (I’m a transplant here), but I find it ridiculously inconsiderate.

Also, I like to step outside* (and by that I mean, “Mrs. Homie makes me step outside”) to smoke pot, but sometimes the neighbors’ children are out playing. Now it’s perfectly legal for me to smoke my doob outside according to the letter of the law, but I really don’t want my neighbors raising hell about their kids having to smell the smoke from my sticky icky. Damn neighbor kids going outside!

I live within half a mile of 3 schools. One is across the street from my neighborhood. All 3 have flashing yellow lights to warn motorists that the speed limit at that time is 20 mph while driving past the school. The speed limit signs even state this, “SPEED 20 MPH when lights are flashing”. I have 2 issues. The first is those that think the 20 mph speed limit applies all the time. This happens at one of the quite often, besides the flashing lights there are speed cameras to nab those who speed while the lights are flashing. It can be annoying to follow someone at 20 mph when the legal speed limit at the time is 35 mph.

My second issue is with the middle school across the street from my neighborhood. There are time when I will be turning onto the road in front of the school. I cannot see the flashing lights, they are facing away from me in both directions. I was recently pulled over for driving 27 in front of the school while the lights were flashing. I explained to the officer that I could not see the flashing lights. There were no pedestrians, students or others, that I use as a warning that the lights may be flashing at that time. He told me that I had a valid defense and would not ticket me. He also suggested that I drive 20 mph while schools are in session, even if the lights may not be flashing. I would then become one of those that aggravate me from my first complaint.

As a corollary, there is one light near me where the left turn line is way back from the intersection. If you pull past that line waiting to make a left turn after the opposing traffic clears you can get stuck out there. The left turn light will not come on unless someone pulls up behind you.

Our next-door neighbor is a car guy - I think he races - so he spends a fair bit of time futzing with his car. Translation: REVVING the engine repeatedly. He doesn’t do it at unreasonable hours, but when the windows are open and I’m inside reading or watching TV, I really don’t want to hear his engine.

But it balances out - our dog barks like an idiot at his dogs, who are a couple of mellow labs. Our pug doesn’t spend a whole lot of time outside, but when she’s there, she can be annoying, and we often call her back inside once we’re sure she’s taken care of her excretory functions.

This just reminded me of a story an ex told me. He was driving home on a residential street that had a stop sign at every other cross street (the cross street had a stop sign at the intersection where he didn’t have onea). He was behind a woman who waited at every street regardless of the sign. And if there was a sign she waited for every car within eyesight (and it was rush hour so there was a bit of traffic) to go through before she’d enter the intersection.

He needed to get home to take his daughter to an appt so he was getting frustrated. He started tapping his horn every time she didn’t go when she should have. He said he wasn’t laying on the horn – just a gentle tap – but after a couple of intersections, she got to the next stop sign (!) and just blasted on through. Thankfully nobody was hit.

I was in traffic school, and the cop teaching it reminded us that in California (as the posted signs say) near schools the reduced speed is when “children are present.” Because apparently some people think that if it’s a Saturday it’s o.k. to speed by even if there are kids there.

At the risk of sounding like ‘Oscar the Grouch’, and as someone who leans toward a type-B personality, I chafe whenever certain perky type-A acquaintances or coworkers bombard me with queries as to my state of being or “pump” me for personal info.

I can sense from the overall vibe that they’re being sincere and so it’s hard to make the public case that they’re odious, but I feel put-upon having to explain that I feel just fine even though I don’t sashay about as a glad-handing, chatty, grinning doofus. I’m thinking we just met, and I’m being asked “Where are you from? What about your family? What do you like to do? What are your interests? Are you OK?” ( neutral expression on my face ).

Among those I’ve known for years, we know quite a lot of each other’s history, habits, quirks,interests, insights. All of these were learned more or less by social osmosis ( is there such a thing? ) and not by compiling a dossier on one another through nosy questions and forced friendliness.

Give me time, and give me space.

Tangentially related, my dog barking is something that I would have thought was annoying until my neighbor told me she liked it. Who’d have thought? My dog is a guard dog who raises up the alarm any time someone walks or drives past the house (and keeps it up until the threat has passed, which can be a while if there’s a UPS/FedEx/Amazon delivery truck out there). But my neighbor, who is elderly and lives alone, told me it makes her feel more secure to hear my dog barking.

I sort of get this (sometimes I’m in the mood to chat, but sometimes I’m in the mood to be left alone), but I must admit that even when I’m in the mood to be left alone, I much prefer the people who ask me all about my life to the people to that prattle on and on about their lives.

And if you’re on a bike, they think they’re getting a free pass to heaven by slowing down for you.

I spend a lot of time pedaling across major streets from a minor street or bike path. SO many people refuse to do their jobs (hint: it’s DRIVE), and start coasting and staring at you. Then you wave them through, and they STOP. Then they gesture you through with a benign, appropriate smile. Holding up traffic, of course…

Look, “St. Francis of ASS-isi”, if you hadn’t slowed down, we both would’ve been through the intersection by now!

I had all the vectors worked out, and I was about to slide through behind you, then get across before the Mack truck… which is now barreling down on us from the other direction. And which would hit me if I followed your ‘Git-along-Li’l-Doagie’ advice.
And you’re still smiling! What anti-depressant did you take two of this morning?

Just last week I yelled “No, I can’t JUST GO, or I’ll get creamed by the other lane. You have ONE job here, lady, DRIVE YOUR CAR!”

That sounds like leaf blowers, which really are a nuisance.