Someone I know has been working on medical statistics for the last year, and has come to the realization that the customer experience is statistically different than the provider experience. The providers see long quiet times, separated by short busy times. Typically, no wait time. The customers see busy times. Typically, long wait times.
In Computer Science there’s a whole branch of mathematics called
It can be loosely summarized as
The Universe hates humans and tries to make things as hard as possible for them. In any transaction between humans involving time, the Universe will try hard to screw both of them. And usually succeeds.
Being stuck behind a driver who needs a space in traffic longer than I would when making a left turn across oncoming traffic. For all I know, they’re driving their newborn home for the first time or grandma is in the backseat with a tureen of scalding borscht on her lap. If they don’t feel safe making the turn, it’s appropriate. Meanwhile I’m like, “Come On! That was like an eight second gap between those cars!”
Maybe he’s the male equivalent of the females that can supposedly orgasm when they sneeze. Do you often catch him hanging around the dusty storage room in your house?
Maybe it’s split even more than that. I believe @Novelty_Bobble and I are separated by an ocean and it’s the same with me in the US. I know it’s correct but I just can’t bring myself to use it that way.
That’s a pretty good description!
Both. Some words like “fish” are both plural and singular. It has been a long time since we stole that word from Latin, we can now use it freely as English.
Oh, and then there’s “alumni”, which seems to have taken over all other endings.
My Dope one is strings of puns that people keep responding to and adding more and more puns. One pun might be funny just because by virtue of being a pun. Maybe two if the second one is really good or the first was really subtle. Because you’re not expecting it and you get that moment of “ohhhhhh I see what you did.” But by the third, it’s tiresome and it gets more so with each one. Yes, yes, we get it, there are a million fish puns and you can respond “oh my cod” or “you can do betta than that” and then “come on guys and gills, no moray of this!” to just about anything. But… you don’t have to.
But of course, clearly people do enjoy that and find it funny (or find themselves funny for adding to it) and I should quit being a sour puss and not worry about it.
My grocery store doesn’t close the bags of cherries or grapes. I guess so people can ‘test’ them to see if they’re good. Screw that. Spin the wheel and take your chances.
You have to be careful when you pick up a bag least they all dump out. And just who has been grazing on these?
The pun strings can be fun, but there’s a definite limit. Four or five jokes and then its time to put it on the shelf.
Why does the bag have to be open to test the fruit? Pick up the bag, look at the fruit to see if there are any bad ones. I wonder, though, if the bags might be open because they stuff so many grapes/cherries in them that you really can’t close them. Gotta make that per pound price worth it.
Around here cherries & grapes and a few other produce items are in bags with a zipper-like slider, like the fancier sorts of zip-loc freezer bags. Whether any given bag’s zipper is open or closed seems random.
Bag sold by the each that people can get into also suffer from folks stuffing their own bag extra full by pilfering one handful from each of 4 other bags. And of course leaving those other bags open because ME!
Around here the price signs on bags of produce (sealed or otherwise) often read
$4.59
/lb
Which encourages people to cross stuff bags in the mistaken belief the extra is free when it isn’t. I’ve watched that surprise get sprung at the register more than once. Busted!
Agreed. I’ve watched folks carefully selecting the best green beans individually from a bulk bin. 15 minutes later they have their pound of beans. I just grab 3 handfuls, stuff them in a bag, and move on.
I recall a thread about grocery store peeves or some such where quite the kerfuffle erupted about buying dairy. Specifically: should you take the one in front whose expiration date might be sooner, or poke around in the back to try to find the one whose expiration date might be a day or two later.
I should not have been as surprised as I was to learn just how many folks firmly believed the right answer was the latter; always the latter.
It’s our Friday tradition to pick up our dinner from Culver’s. What I just don’t understand is why do they give you the ice cream while you’re waiting for your food?! Culver’s is probably the slowest of the fast food and they have been crazy busy all through COVID. Drive-thru lines wrap around the building so I go inside to place my order. Last week it was packed inside too. So there I stood with my ice cream treats melting as I waited for 20 minutes for my food. When they finally handed me my bag, I asked for new ice cream because it was melted. They were fine with it, but I think it’s such a waste. Last summer I used the drive-thru lane. You place your order through the microphone dealio and then move up to the window, pay and they give you your drinks and ice cream. Then you pull up and wait for someone to bring you your food. I waited for what seemed like forever, watching my ice cream melt into a puddle. When I finally got my food, I asked for new ice cream and they happily gave it to me. On the next trip, as I was paying I said to the girl - “Could I get my ice cream when they bring out my food? Otherwise, it will melt. It’s pretty hot today.” She stared at me like I was speaking Russian and then handed me my ice cream! 
I seem to recall reading that grapes falling on the floor were a significant cause of slip-and-fall accidents. So that may be one reason that grapes (and cherries) are sold in a plastic bag. Also, some people will take the bag as it is even if it’s more than they intended to purchase.
At work, we use a shared printer and scanner. That cracker-eater is using it, but I want it. How dare she? 
When I heard ten puns in a row, I thought they might make me laugh…
but no pun in ten did.
Perhaps their intent is for you to eat the ice cream while you wait for your food? IOW, it’s something they give you to keep you busy for 5 minutes so you don’t whine about their shitty slow service.
So you holding onto it until you get home is you doing it wrong from their POV?
I recently took a road trip with a companion and we stopped at one of those giant travel plazas off the side of the interstate that had a convenience store, truck parking, food court, travel info desk, coffee shop and about 30 fuel pumps. My friend went for a meal from the busy food court but I just wanted a cup of joe.
The two people in front of me in line placed orders that took a really long time for the sole barista to make. My friend had his own line at Hardys, waited for food, ate it and I still hadn’t got to the counter. I know my $1.79 plain coffee isn’t influencing many decisions in the multinational corporate board room but I wish there was a system to fastlane plain coffee at all of these places.
Next time, place a second order for the frozen stuff (custard, I’d though?) after receiving the hot food. Annoying but workable if there isn’t much of a line inside.
LSLGuy - Maybe they do want me to eat my frozen custard before I get my food, which makes no sense to me. It’s dessert after all. I do see other people eating their custard as they’re waiting but I think it’s just because they’ve been waiting so long that they figure - what else do I have to do?
jnglmassiv - If I ordered the custard after I received my meal, my burger and fries would be cold by the time I got my custard!
Even if I’m not in a hurry I find myself saying “Come on, it’s not going to get any greener” or “It’s not going to get any clearer.” Go!
Singing God Bless America at MLB games (while not appropriate) is pretty benign. I hate it and it makes me seethe.
I feel the same way, though ‘God Bless America’ is like a punk rock song compared to ‘Proud to be an American’. That doesn’t make me seethe, it makes me throw up in my mouth.