Carljay the OP’s hurry was “he hates the mall” hence my stance.
[QUOTE=wring]
how much does that job pay?
[/QUOTE]
It’s an unpaid force. You have to buy your own matching hat and coat uniform as well. Suprisingly they have no staffing problems, and in fact have a waiting list years long…little girls who dream of one day being elderly enough to get away with such conduct.
[QUOTE=davenportavenger]
Not trying to be combative, just wondering: why do you take escalators if they cause panic attacks?
[/QUOTE]
A valid question.
The thing is, if I’m going to get a panic attack on an escalator, I’m likely to get one on the stairs as well. And it’s rare that I find an elevator in those situations. Trust me, I’ve looked. There’s an escalator on the Red Line somewhere in Cambridge, probably Porter Square, where there are two escalators. The upper one is short, and the lower one is approximately 128473 miles long. It’s the lower one I have a problem with.
One night I had to take that train, and was dreading the descent that was to come. So I looked for an elevator. Luckily, I found one. After waiting about 5 minutes for the car to come, I got on, and it took another 5 minutes to descend. Alas, I had avoided the upper escalator. I still had to deal with the lower one. And there was no elevator that I could find.
So why not just avoid them altogther? For one thing, that’s not really possible if one is to interface with real life. For another, avoiding phobia triggers usually just strengthens the phobia.
[QUOTE=wring]
Carljay the OP’s hurry was “he hates the mall” hence my stance.
[/QUOTE]
Fair enough. But what does it matter, really? The issue at hand isn’t whether he was in a hurry because he dislikes the mall, or whether it’s because he wants to catch the next episode of Spongebob Squarepants.
The issue is the fact that in a situation where he made a polite request to another person to move over a step–something that is accepted in that area as standard etiquette-- that person got all riled up and snarky.
My point is, who cares why JoeBobBillyBoy wants to get by? It’s a matter of courtesy to move over a step. And if you can’t? Why, simply say so politely. There’s no need to question the motives of someone who would like to move a little faster than you in a public place. Just make room for your fellow person.
[QUOTE=Kevbo]
You have to buy your own matching hat and coat uniform as well.
[/QUOTE]
Matching hat and coat?
damn.
and I was thisclose. :smack:
If I blocked the only public doorway for 30 seconds, for no reason at all, I doubt there is a single person who, waiting to get through, wouldn’t find it rude of me.
For some reason, though, the escalator standers just can’t see that thier indifference is creating an identical roadblock. The fact that the stairs are moving seems to make them oblivious to the fact there is a whole line of folks forced to wait while they finish thier little rest stop. The mind boggles.
[QUOTE=jjimm]
He did say that he/other sufferers can get them on stairs, too, if he’s/they are carrying large objects.
[/QUOTE]
Yes I did. I nearly always get them if I can’t hold a handrail, and a heavy or bulky object sometimes makes this the only option. I sometimes get them if my hands are free. It depends on a good assortment of variables.
[QUOTE=Carlyjay]
Fair enough. But what does it matter, really? The issue at hand isn’t whether he was in a hurry because he dislikes the mall, or whether it’s because he wants to catch the next episode of Spongebob Squarepants.
The issue is the fact that in a situation where he made a polite request to another person to move over a step–something that is accepted in that area as standard etiquette-- that person got all riled up and snarky.
My point is, who cares why JoeBobBillyBoy wants to get by? It’s a matter of courtesy to move over a step. And if you can’t? Why, simply say so politely. There’s no need to question the motives of someone who would like to move a little faster than you in a public place. Just make room for your fellow person.
[/QUOTE]
I already agreed that the response that the standee gave was out of line. HOwever, you seem only to be willing to give a break/understanding to the guy who wants to get by, and none at all to the standee- there’s folks w/personal space issues to whom some one brushing by can cause some degree of discomfort, and given that the scene was at a fucking mall, no life/death/job loss type of situation, the escalator size being relative (certainly not the sort y ou see in mass transit) and the potential ‘bad event’ for the OP was ‘have to be on the escalator for a few seconds more’, I was willing to grant the unseen standee slack as well.
as one other person pointed out, if the request is genuinely polite, the answer of “no” should be acceptable, otherwise, it’s one person ordering the other.
[QUOTE=wring]
HOwever, you seem only to be willing to give a break/understanding to the guy who wants to get by, and none at all to the standee- <snip>
as one other person pointed out, if the request is genuinely polite, the answer of “no” should be acceptable, otherwise, it’s one person ordering the other.
[/QUOTE]
Actually…that other person was me. 
[QUOTE=Carlyjay]
Actually…that other person was me.
[/QUOTE]
well then, good on you. 'cause that makes sense to me. Generally we think “ordering some stranger around” to be rude behavior, right?
[QUOTE=wring]
if the request is genuinely polite, the answer of “no” should be acceptable, otherwise, it’s one person ordering the other.
[/QUOTE]
It’s hard to imagine someone turning around, smiling pleasantly, and saying “No, I will not let you by.” Then agian, I’m still a little astonished Mr. McDouche refused my request (not in so many words), esp. in the manner he did. Now, if I had asked, and somebody gave me some reason, probably almost any excuse to stay there (left leg fell asleep, whatever), I’d have maybe furrowed my brow a little, but I would’ve left it at that I think. I truly was asking, not ordering. I think the response I got was all about simply being a prick to me. I don’t see why I should politely sit there and let someone be a prick to me, unless, of course, they’re going to tear my arms off or something.
But Looopy I’ve already said the manner in which he responded was bad, indfensible. but your OP wasn’t focused on how rude his answer was, it was focused on his standing in the middle. or that’s how it seemed to me, and most of the talk back and forth has been, indeed, about where he was standing, the fact that he refused at all to move.
Well, there’s really two parts to this: One, please, escalator-standers, don’t stand in the middle of the fucking step when it’s wide enough to allow left-hand traffic.
The other is, what the fuck’s your problem, Mr. McDouchebag? For Chrissakes, one step to the fucking side, and you have to give me shit about it?
I kind of mixed it all together like bread and beef in a big meatball of disgust, and cooked in the sauces of my rage…or something like that. I’m sure you could come up with a way better metaphor. Anyway, sorry for the confusion.
[QUOTE=tdn]
Correct on all counts. And can we agree that the tailgater who flashes his lights is an ass as well?
[/QUOTE]
Yes. But I think the guy in the left lane who gives a little “honk” to remind the guy to get over to the right is well within his rights.
[QUOTE=Loopydude]
Well, there’s really two parts to this: One, please, escalator-standers, don’t stand in the middle of the fucking step when it’s wide enough to allow left-hand traffic.
The other is, what the fuck’s your problem, Mr. McDouchebag? For Chrissakes, one step to the fucking side, and you have to give me shit about it?
I kind of mixed it all together like bread and beef in a big meatball of disgust, and cooked in the sauces of my rage…or something like that. I’m sure you could come up with a way better metaphor. Anyway, sorry for the confusion.
[/QUOTE]
I am a little sympathetic because I live with a mall hater. He could have moved over.
[QUOTE=wring]
I already agreed that the response that the standee gave was out of line. HOwever, you seem only to be willing to give a break/understanding to the guy who wants to get by, and none at all to the standee- there’s folks w/personal space issues to whom some one brushing by can cause some degree of discomfort, and given that the scene was at a fucking mall, no life/death/job loss type of situation, the escalator size being relative (certainly not the sort y ou see in mass transit) and the potential ‘bad event’ for the OP was ‘have to be on the escalator for a few seconds more’, I was willing to grant the unseen standee slack as well.
as one other person pointed out, if the request is genuinely polite, the answer of “no” should be acceptable, otherwise, it’s one person ordering the other.
[/QUOTE]
So, as I navigate through this existance, I have to worry about random panic attacks, and other’s personal space issues in public (and often crowded) areas. Have I missed anything? Any other minefields I should be tip-toeing through, or eggshell-like quirks I need to coddle? Can we get these people to wear signs, so that we know which people are truly assholes upon whom we can hurl invective? While we’re at it, let’s mark people who really need SUVs so we can deride the small penises of those who don’t. Lastly, let’s have a special flashing light on cell phones for doctors on call and for 911 usage. That way, when we see the inattentive driver talking on his phone, we’ll know we were in the right to roll down our window and piss on his Escalade.
Did I miss anything?
[QUOTE=D_Odds]
Did I miss anything?
[/QUOTE]
People who declaw their cats, or think of their cats as children. People who circumcise their sons. Fat people. Motorcyclists who remove their mufflers. Bush lovers. Bush haters. People that can’t commit one way or the other about Bush. And modern “art.”
Please try to keep up.
[QUOTE=tdn]
I’ve also never seen a dotted yellow line down the middle of the steps.
[/QUOTE]
Some years ago I rode escalators in Stuttgart, Germany. On the riser of each step, in prominent letters, were the words “GEHEN” (“Go”) on the left, and “STEHEN” (“Stay”) on the right.
Can’t get much plainer than that, can you?
I’m moving to Germany.
[QUOTE=Geobabe]
That’s exactly how folks in this part of the South behave. If they see they’re in the way, they move. They don’t lecture the person about how they shouldn’t be in such a hurry.
[/QUOTE]
Thanks for the back-up. I *knew * I wasn’t the only one. And, apparently, several Dopers outside of the South get this, too. I’ll have to remind Mama–and myself–of this the next time we’re comparing notes about people’s rudeness up here and she says, “Well, Li’l Pluck, they’re just not like us.” 
(Actually, we both know that Southerners can be rude as fuck, too, and we hold special contempt for them.)
[QUOTE=What Exit?]
Originally Posted by Carlyjay:
People are getting all tied up in metaphors and parallels.
Fact is, taking this whole thing away from escalators: It’s rude to respond snottily to a polite and reasonable request.
The request was made politely (if possibly in a hurried way). Why be a jerk just because YOU think the world ought to go at the same speed as you? The person making the request wasn’t a jerk. They just made a polite request.
If it’s that much of a pain for you to move, say so politely.
“I’m afraid I haven’t much room here as it is, and I’d rather not move over. Sorry.”
Even so, I’d think you were a bit of a jerk for blatantly refusing a simple request to make room for your fellow human being in a public area, but at least you were as polite about it as possible.
Excellent summary. I agree.
[/QUOTE]
I do, too, Carlyjay–thank you for this. [hijack] Oh, and What Exit?, you sound like a driver after my own heart, and I’d share the road with you anytime. (I’ve driven approximately a million miles on the NJ Turnpike. 'Nuff said, right?) [/hijack]
[QUOTE=D_Odds]
So, as I navigate through this existance, I have to worry about random panic attacks, and other’s personal space issues in public (and often crowded) areas. Have I missed anything? Any other minefields I should be tip-toeing through, or eggshell-like quirks I need to coddle? Can we get these people to wear signs, so that we know which people are truly assholes upon whom we can hurl invective? While we’re at it, let’s mark people who really need SUVs so we can deride the small penises of those who don’t. Lastly, let’s have a special flashing light on cell phones for doctors on call and for 911 usage. That way, when we see the inattentive driver talking on his phone, we’ll know we were in the right to roll down our window and piss on his Escalade.
Did I miss anything?
[/QUOTE]
Heh. Amen, brother!
[QUOTE=Loopydude]
I went through three stages in my assessment of this guy: Exasperated anger, remorse over my reaction, and then dismissive derision. What a fucking douchebag. I mean, after the guy offered to take me to the mat, I had little choice but escalate or fume in silence. I did the latter, of course. Later, after reading my own angry post and seeing the “calm the fuck down” messages, I though, yeah, I do really need some anger management now and again.
But you know what? Fuck that guy with a rusty Sawzall. What a complete and utter fucking piece of shit. I did absolutely nothing wrong. I made a polite, completely normal request, and he treated me like dirt for absolutely no reason but because he could. Complete, total fucking asshole. I know exactly what kind of guy he was: A loser fuckwit bully who can’t excel at anything but being a giant sack of lipous manure, a petty cretin whose only talent is planting his worthless-sack-of-shit-carcass in the way of genuine human beings with lives worth living and the desire to go about doing so unimpeded. I bet his greatest sense of accomplishment is derived from winning games of “chicken” with hapless pedestrians on city sidewalks who have no beef with this fuck, don’t know him, never would want to, and who simply wish to get from point A to point B without some idiot playing half-wit power games with them.
And to those who actually believe I was somehow inconveniencing or otherwise unjustly victimizing this dungheap: I’d ask you to lick my sweaty unwiped taint, but I’m too polite. Instead, I’ll just hope you meet my buddy from Providence and a troop of his friends someday, no, every day, in traffic, on the sidewalk, on a stairway, elevator, movie theater, supermarket, train, plane, bus, or maybe even your own front lawn. I hope he treats you as kindly as he treated me, and I hope you get to know really well, on a very regular basis, 'till death do you part, just how it feels to be fucked with for no good reason while innocently attempting to go about your normal life.
[/QUOTE]
Congratulations! You are the proud new owner of a deluxe pair of XJ2000 balls. May they bring you many years of pleasure, assertiveness, and confidence. But only when you’re in the right, as you so totally were in this case. 