Escalator Etiquette

[D_Odds]

@tdn

People who declaw their cats, or think of their cats as children. People who circumcise their sons. Fat people. Motorcyclists who remove their mufflers. Bush lovers. Bush haters. People that can’t commit one way or the other about Bush. And modern “art.”

Please try to keep up.

Cats! :smack: How could I forget cats?

Cat owners must wear a placard indicating their ownership style:- spayed / neutered or intact

• clawed or declawed
• indoor or outdoot
• <=2 or >2
  After all, I’ve only got 1/4 second to make a first impression. I need this information up front. Thank you for your cooperation.

[Loopydude]

@Li'l Pluck

Congratulations! You are the proud new owner of a deluxe pair of XJ2000 balls.

Can these new balls give me about 100lbs of pure muscle mass, while they’re going about doing whatever other things balls do to make one…er…ballsy? Because, it would seem, being much more assertive is going to get me an ass-kicking if I can’t defend myself with more than my usual stream of vulgarities.

[Giles]

@EddyTeddyFreddy

Some years ago I rode escalators in Stuttgart, Germany. On the riser of each step, in prominent letters, were the words “GEHEN” (“Go”) on the left, and “STEHEN” (“Stay”) on the right.

Can’t get much plainer than that, can you?

Better English translations, in the context, would be “walk” for “gehen”, and “stand” for “stehen”. But I do like the idea of marking the steps that way.

[Giles]

@Dinsdale

While I was out jogging over lunch, I thought about “On your left.” IME it is pretty common - nearly universal - among folks who bike or run recreational paths. The person who is moving at a faster pace simply calls out “On your left” to let folks ahead of them know they are coming up from behind, and the side on which they intend to pass.

I like the idea of warning them. However, if I were not used to the custom, and I heard someone say a short sentence ending with “left” like that, my first instinct would be to jump to the left. Plus, polite requests should always have a word like “please”. So why not say “Move right, please”? Same number of words, and far less ambiguous.

[D_Odds]

@Loopydude

Can these new balls give me about 100lbs of pure muscle mass, while they’re going about doing whatever other things balls do to make one…er…ballsy? Because, it would seem, being much more assertive is going to get me an ass-kicking if I can’t defend myself with more than my usual stream of vulgarities.

I can give you about half the mass, but you’ll have to convert it into muscle. I ain’t giving up my own muscle mass, just the extra stuff!

[Cervaise]

What was that thread somebody started maybe a year ago, “stealth controversies” or something like that, about issues you’d never predict in advance would flare up into lengthy and bitterly divisive arguments? If I could remember the term used I’d search it up and provide a link, but it’s slipped my mind.

Anyway, this needs to be added to the list.

[Uncommon_Sense]

@Cervaise

What was that thread somebody started maybe a year ago, “stealth controversies” or something like that, about issues you’d never predict in advance would flare up into lengthy and bitterly divisive arguments? If I could remember the term used I’d search it up and provide a link, but it’s slipped my mind.

Anyway, this needs to be added to the list.

Just search for “All Threads Older Than Today”
That’s what I do when I search, then I page through the results until I find what I’m looking for.
What?

[Motorgirl]

@tdn

A valid question.

One night I had to take that train, and was dreading the descent that was to come. So I looked for an elevator. Luckily, I found one. After waiting about 5 minutes for the car to come, I got on, and it took another 5 minutes to descend. Alas, I had avoided the upper escalator. I still had to deal with the lower one. And there was no elevator that I could find.

tdn - I go through Porter twice a day. I am almost positive there is an elevator conterpart for the middle escalator. I’ll check around, hopefully on the way home tonight and let you know where it is. The T likes to hide them. :rolleyes:

I can’t do anything about the fact that it will smell like urine, but maybe I can help you locate it.

[davenportavenger]

@Motorgirl

I can’t do anything about the fact that it will smell like urine, but maybe I can help you locate it.

For starters, you could stop pissing in it.

(No offense to you Motorgirl, I don’t know you at all, I just have to take these openings when they’re available.)

[Motorgirl]

@davenportavenger

For starters, you could stop pissing in it.

(No offense to you Motorgirl, I don’t know you at all, I just have to take these openings when they’re available.)

When ya gotta go, ya gotta go!

I kid, I kid

[TheLoadedDog]

Here’s a thought for you dumbshit twunts who think the OP is the rude one, and the angry stranger had a right not to be inconvenienced by having to take a step to the right…

…GET ON THE FUCKING ESCALATOR ON THE RIGHT IN THE FIRST PLACE!! It’s simple. It’s effective. It will keep your shirts whiter than white and it contains no added salt. You won’t need to move two feet to the side, and that rude bastard who dared to say, “Excuse me, sir?” won’t bother you.

[tdn]

@Motorgirl

I can’t do anything about the fact that it will smell like urine, but maybe I can help you locate it.

If you could, I’d be thankful. But don’t put yourself out. I almost never have the opportunity to go there anymore.

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

@Giles

Better English translations, in the context, would be “walk” for “gehen”, and “stand” for “stehen”. But I do like the idea of marking the steps that way.

Quite correct, and I wavered between the more literal translations and the more applicable.

AltaVista’s Babelfish tells me the literal German for “walk” is “weg” – but the rhyming “gehen” is so much neater, nicht wahr?*

*Please note I’ve used up my daily quota of poorly retained college German. Or, to put it another way: Ich spreche nur ein Bisschen, und sehr schlecht.

[GorillaMan]

@TheLoadedDog

Here’s a thought for you dumbshit twunts who think the OP is the rude one, and the angry stranger had a right not to be inconvenienced by having to take a step to the right…

…GET ON THE FUCKING ESCALATOR ON THE RIGHT IN THE FIRST PLACE!! It’s simple. It’s effective. It will keep your shirts whiter than white and it contains no added salt. You won’t need to move two feet to the side, and that rude bastard who dared to say, “Excuse me, sir?” won’t bother you.

But, you don’t get it, they’ve got a right to stand wherever they want, and you’re intruding on that right if you suggest they modify their behaviour in any way whatsoever.

[Acsenray]

@Cervaise

What was that thread somebody started maybe a year ago, “stealth controversies” or something like that, about issues you’d never predict in advance would flare up into lengthy and bitterly divisive arguments? If I could remember the term used I’d search it up and provide a link, but it’s slipped my mind.

Anyway, this needs to be added to the list.

Along with –

– Apply soap to body with washcloth or just with hand?
– Rinse dishes after applying dish soap or just wipe?
– Make the bed with the “good” side of the sheet facing up or down?

[D_Odds]

@Motorgirl

I can’t do anything about the fact that it will smell like urine, but maybe I can help you locate it.

Why would someone want to locate the source of the smell of urine?

[lokij]

Wow, sometimes issues crop up on the board that really do drive home cultural differences between the north and south, or maybe to an extent urban vs. rural living. I’ve been on some escalators in my time living here, mostly in malls and museums… the airport and honestly it would never occur to me that people would routinely walk up and down the things. It just isn’t done here, unless perhaps you’re the ONLY person on the escalator and you’re just taking a couple of steps up and or down at the beginning or end. Kids run up and down escalators here, not adults. I’ve also never really seen any escalators that would accomodate two people at a time plus luggage and or bags here, the rule is single file or what the wiki calls a “Medium” escalator which is intended for one person plus bags or luggage. Escalator - Wikipedia
On the subject of recommended escalator safety, I found this link which instructs you to stand towards the center of the stairs away from the sides.

http://www.safetycouncilsemi.org/Articles/Escalatorsafety.htm

I can’t imagine living the kind of life where I measure my progress and happiness the seconds I might save by walking up past people on an escalator. Then again, I’m sure my mindset is equally alien and lazy to the walkers. Personally it reminds me of people who blow past me when I’m going to speed limit (in the right lane) and end up stopped right beside me at the next red light. I do think the gentleman in the op was crude in answering the ops simple and polite request, I would have politely moved and just wondered why the hurry.

[Steve_MB]

@Gadarene

In all serious, I’ve missed a Metro train on a number of occasions because someone stood on the left-hand lane of the down escalator, thus triggering a chain reaction of people standing in the left-hand lane, thus making me late by, yes, 30 seconds, so that I hit the platform just as the train was pulling away. Sometimes that can make a big difference – sometimes the next train isn’t for twenty minutes. Even if the next train is only five minutes away, though, missing a train can lead to a number of unfortunate or unforeseen consequences. And even better, you don’t generally know how close a train is to arriving at a platform – or whether it has, in fact, arrived – until you’ve finished riding the escalator. Which means that any one of those people who’re standing on the left-hand side and blocking my way could, theoretically, be making me miss that train.

It ought to be legal to physically over-run idiots who walk until they get close enough to see that the train on the platform isn’t their train, and then stop.

[Steve_MB]

@overeasy4

You could do what I do; leave early enough to take into account any delays!

I already leave early enough to accomodate Metro’s soak-the-suburbanites scheme of charging express fare for a local bus*. I already leave early enough to accomodate the not-so-occasional traffic jam. I should leave even earlier to accomodate some moron who can’t comprehend the concept “stand right, walk left”?

Bah. As far as I’m concerned, ability to understand the concept “stand right, walk left” is like the Turing Test – you are considered a sentient being if and only if you pass.

(*My neighborhood is served only by one of those “express” routes that winds its way through the residential streets, approaches Franconia station, and then arbitrarily veers away to follow 395 to the Pentagon for no apparent purpose other than to justify charging $3.00 instead of $1.35)

[Fiveyearlurker]

@lokij

I’ve been on some escalators in my time living here, mostly in malls and museums… the airport and honestly it would never occur to me that people would routinely walk up and down the things. It just isn’t done here, unless perhaps you’re the ONLY person on the escalator and you’re just taking a couple of steps up and or down at the beginning or end. Kids run up and down escalators here, not adults.

Well, Nashville isn’t on the list, but Memphis makes the list of top 10 fattest cities :

The Top 10 Fattest Cities -

Houston
Philadelphia
Detroit
Memphis
Chicago
Dallas
New Orleans
New York
Las Vegas
San Antonio