Having precious little experience in the ethics and etiquette in the US job market, I thought I’d give the Teeming Millions a chance to weigh in:
About a year ago, I left a job for greener pa$ture$ in another company. I stayed in touch for alittle while, and so I learned that a colleague from my old workplace was canned a few months after I left.
He has now contacted me and asked whether he can put my name down as a reference when looking for work, and herein lies the problem: He’s a nice enough guy (although incredibly talkative) and he’s actually pretty smart, has plenty of exams and certs, but he’s just not very good at what he wants to do (computer networking). It’s hard to describe why he’s not good - but he just has this talent for dropping the ball. No gigantic blunders, mind - just little annoying screw-ups, not so much in the tech side of things as in the entire approach to problem resolution.
What the &^#^# do I do?
Saying “Nope, never ever use my name” seems pretty rude and frankly, I don’t think I have the heart to do so. But if a prospective employer calls me and asks about his performance, I can’t really state the truth, either.
The third option - enrolling in the witness protection program - turned out to be a non-starter. (Damn uncooperative Feds…)
You owe it to the guy to tell him if you can’t give him an enthusiastic reference. Trust me, he’ll appreciate knowing that before he uses your name much more than afterwards. Just say “I wouldn’t feel comfortable being a reference for you” and leave it at that.
If the guy isn’t good at problem solving, he either needs to learn this skill or this will not be the last job he will get fired from.
It may be a the kindest thing to let him know what you think. Really tough to hear, but it could save him a lot of problems down the road, if he choses to listen.
I agree with Telemark. Ideally, it’ll be enough that you tell him you don’t feel comfortable providing a reference for him. If he presses you on the issue and you don’t want to hurt his feelings, you can say something along the lines of “I don’t know enough about your work style and habits to give you a credible reference.”
I was in a similar situation. A guy who worked for me became a good friend after he left the company. He asked me to be a reference. He really was not a very good employee for me. He needed constant supervision or wouldn’t get anything done. If he was told exactly what to do he was fine, but I needed someone who could think for himself.
I wanted to help him, but did not want to lie and say I thought he was a great worker. So I told him I would write a letter for him. In the letter I was completely truthful. I included the things he actually was good at, and left out the bad things about him. The letter was along the lines of:
During the six months that Grit’s Friend worked for me I found him to be very well liked by both his fellow employees and clients. He was very enthusiastic, and followed directions well. He never complained when needed to work overtime, and was always well groomed and had a professional appearance…blah blah blah.
All those things were true. I just left out the parts about his being late, not being very creative or a self starter. I figured anyone reading the letter might see through it, for what it was, or maybe not. When they called me for my opinion of him, I just rehashed the letter.
He ended up getting the job. I thought it was a bad fit, and felt a slight tinge of guilt. But as it turns out, 15 years later, he is still with the same company, has been promoted many times, and is making very good money there. So now I am very glad I did what I could to help him out.
A quick check: are you being asked to provide a character reference or a professional reference? Demurring on the latter should be easy: just say that it’s been a year and you no longer feel qualified. From what you’ve said I don’t think you’d have trouble supplying a character reference.