Whats the general etiquette in the US and Europe for wishing Christian work colleagues religious holidays (Easter / Christmas), if you are not a Christian ?
Mods : My question is a general one, if you’d like - please move it to GD.
Here’s my background :
I am not at all a religious person and respect/love all religions. I was born in India into a Hindu family, went to a Catholic school - and grew up celebrating all religious occasions like Hindu festivals, Muslim festivals and Christian festivals back in India.
Here’s my experience in the US:
I encounter strange reactions when wishing American colleagues Merry Christmas or Happy Easter. Either they brush it off - or look offended - or act like they did not hear me. So my guess is - its a big no no in the US - is that right ?
Here’s my experience with Europeans (especially Italians and Polish):
I started working with Italian / Polish colleagues earlier this year and my work email is flooded right now with wishes for Easter. I want to wish them back but am hesitant to reply - can the Dope help me out, please ?
If you’ve been wishing people a Merry Christmas recently, that might explain the strange reactions. Other than that, I don’t know. It’s not a “big no no” in general, but there could be something about the way you said it, or the people you said it to (e.g. they’re Jewish; or they have to work on Easter; or they’ve just had some family tragedy).
In the NW United States at least, I don’t ever wish people Merry Christmas or Happy Easter. It seems wrong to assume people are religious, or Christian. Even if I knew someone was Christian, it would seem inappropriate to make a comment on someone’s religious beliefs in public. I wouldn’t be offended if someone wished me a happy religious holiday of some sort, but I look at them a bit funny.
I don’t think it’s a big “no no,” or worthy of offense. On the other hand, I see no reason to do it. Save it for church.
I’m not sure why your colleagues act offended. My best guess is perhaps that they’re not religious and feel that you’re implying that they are. Easter is becoming more of a religous holiday, so “Happy Easter” might give someone pause (particularly if they’ are religious but not Christian). But on the other hand, Christmas is such an important secular holiday that even a non-Christian in the US should accept a Merry Christmas.
My advice is to feel free to throw around “Merry Christmas”, unless you know the person is Jewish or otherwise non-Christian, though “Happy Holidays” works just as well. I wouldn’t really wish someone Happy Easter unless I knew that it was an important holiday for them. Obviously, if they wish me Happy Easter that’s a pretty good sign that it is important to them, so I’d respond in kind.
Could you please elaborate on this ? The way I say it is the same way I say it to my Indian Christian friends and they are fine with it. They are my work colleagues and I am generally aware what is going on with them e.g. if they are observing lent, if they are catholic or not, if they are Jewish or not. I wish Jewish colleagues their religious occasions and they are okay with it - colleagues from the US and Israel and India (yes there are Jewish folks in India).
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I don’t think it’s a big “no no,” or worthy of offense. On the other hand, I see no reason to do it. Save it for church.
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If I understand correctly, you are saying that the response will be neutral to negative ? Am I understanding this correctly ? I do not go to a church - or temples for that matter.
It depends on how you know the person is Christian and it’s something they don’t mind you referring to at work. I’m Catholic and would never deny it, but it’s not something I talk about at work unless it directly comes up, or I know that someone knows from other contexts. Religion, politics, personal decisions outside of work – not fair game at work.
For example, I know that my co-worker knows because I saw him at his son’s baptism at my church.
I wear ashes to work on Ash Wednesday and explain what they are if anyone points them out and asks about them, which has only happened a couple of times.
And one Holy Week (preceding Easter) a group was talking about Jewish vs. Christian holidays or something and I commented how it’s a great week with a lot of celebrations – “You must be Catholic!” I hesitated a moment because I do try not to talk religion at work ever, but I wouldn’t deny or be ashamed of my faith either, so “Yep!”
Anyhoo, I mean if you ask someone about their plans for the weekend and they volunteer that they’re having Easter dinner or something, sure “Happy Easter”. Or even just “I hope you have a great time” because they may be celebrating in a more secular way (dinner, egg hunt, baskets).
Yes, I see no reason to say anything of the sort. No one should be offended if you say “have a nice weekend,” even if it’s Easter and they’ll be spending the weekend at Mass. On the other hand, saying “Happy Easter” is going to fall flat to many Americans who don’t care about Easter, and even those who do might consider it a private religious thing more than something to be discussed at work. Of couse, the “rules” are different when talk to close friends or relatives. I personally would not mention religious holidays with work colleagues.
There is nothing really “offensive” about it, however, and even as an atheist I would just probably say “thank you” if someone said Merry Christmas or Happy Easter to me.
There will always be exceptions, but in general no one in the US would take exception. I would correct you (I’m Jewish) but I wouldn’t take offense. Not the first time anyway.
It’s my preference to know if someone is a practicing Christian before I wish them a Happy Easter - Christmas is a much more generic holiday.
If you know someone is a Christian, then wishing them a Happy Easter or Merry Christmas should not be offensive at all. I doubt even most non-Christians would actually be offended by the misplaced good wishes, although they might correct you.
I try to avoid saying ‘Happy Easter’ to people unless I specifically know that they consider themselves Christian. In this area that includes most people, but that’s not true in other parts of the country.
FWIW, the traditional greeting on Easter itself from one Christian to another is “He is risen!” and the response is “He is risen indeed!” But that is only between Christians.
I have done “Merry Christmas” instead of “Happy Holidays” for years, including in a workplace where some were Christian, some were Hindu, some were Jewish, some were Muslim, and some were nothing, and nobody ever took offense and I never got into any trouble. And I have been doing “Happy Easter” for the last week, with no trouble.
I think in the US people are more concerned with giving offense than there are instances where people actually take offense.
At Christmas, friends sent us a card with a Christmas tree on the front and part of it cut out, but it still looked like your traditional tree. Inside was the crown of thorns (part of it having shown through the front). It was pretty cool but a little jarring when you have your head thinking about peace on earth and a little baby!
My current team sounds like a setup for a joke, ranging from German (both halves) to Spaniard and from there to Turkish; we’ve been wishing each other “enjoy the four day weekend!” and “happy Easter!” all week. I don’t think anybody wished “happy Easter” to the Turk, but he did wish it to us. Holy days are often used as an excuse to ask questions about someone’s religion, along the ways of “is it correct to wish you a happy XYZ?” and from there to what is it about and so forth; in the US that’s viewed as impolite because you’re getting into personal ground, in Europe and the Med it’s seen as wanting to learn.
Anyone wishing anyone a happy holiday of any sort, whether it’s one a person observers or not, is just trying to be friendly.
I’m agnostic, but feel free to say “Happy Easter” or “Merry Christmas” or “happy Holidays” or “Happy Saturnalia” or whatever you want to me.
I try to be a bit sensitive. To people I’m pretty sure are Christians, I might use the Christian holiday name. To others, I might say “Have a nice holiday!” I have no agenda. Anyone who replies back with some agenda about how insensitive I’m being will be ignored. I confess it hasn’t happened yet.
No, instead I see all these contradictory Facebook posts about what to say or not say, and I skip over those, too. C’mon, people: get a life. Be aware that not all share your religion, but that many do, and that we’re all on the planet together so we should assume the best when people are trying to be polite, and just get along for a change.
They may not be offended – just a bit surprised… They know that you are someone from India, so may think you don’t know about Christian Holidays. (Most Christian Americans would have no idea about Hindu or Muslim holidays, for example.)
Other than that, I don’t know. It’s not a “big no no” in general, but there could be something about the way you said it, or the people you said it to (e.g. they’re Jewish; or they have to work on Easter; or they’ve just had some family tragedy).
