Etiquette re: avoiding someone

In My Humble Opinion (IMHO)
#21

The sister is the older of the two kids. If her brother is 14, she must be at least 18. And, now that you mention it, even when the two boys were getting together in grade school, she or the mom often made the initiating phone call. I thought it was weird then. So, as adorable as my son is, I don’t think she has the hots for him. :wink:

The family dynamic there has always been odd. The brother is the only male in the household. His mom looked perpetually downtrodden. I suspect he bullies his mom and sister, too. Maybe he considers the two of them to be his social secretaries.

I think my son and the other kid just run in different circles, although I don’t know whether or not the other kid is in with a bad crowd.

Two more calls today, by the way, both from the mom suggesting the kid come to our house.

Anyway, combining advice from various Dopers, I think the next time the mom or sister calls, I’ll answer and tell her, “I’ve let my son know that you’ve called. He’ll get in contact with John if he wants to get together with him.” If they keep calling after the “Don’t call us, we’ll call you” message, I may have to be more direct.

I really appreciate everyone’s responses. It’s helpful to know I’m not the only one who finds the whole situation a little creepy.

#22

This thing is so weird I just have to say you can’t be subtle with people like this. Not answering your phone? They’ll just call twice as much. Making up convoluted excuses about why your son is unavailable will just bring on arguments. No, you have to politely, gently, but firmly go with the “I’m sorry, my son’s not interested”. Repeat if needed, but don’t get into an argument. “I’m sorry, my son’s not interested in getting together with yours. I have things to do now, goodbye.” (click)

I’m curious as to what will happen. Let’s hope the mom doesn’t drop him off to knock on your front door as she drives off with the sister for “girl time”.

#23

That’s what we eventually had to do with a couple of my brothers and sisters. They just don’t take “no” for an answer. Just remember that normal rules for society don’t apply. Go with the advice here.

#24

I told my son I’d answer the phone the next time we got a call and deal with it. I said, “Do you want me to deal with it in a vague way, like telling them I’ve conveyed the message to you and you’ll call him if you want to get together, or do you want me to just flat-out say you’re not interested in getting together with him?” He immediately voted for the latter.

So the daughter just called. I told her my son wasn’t interested in getting together with her brother. She laughed and said, “Is there a reason?” And I said, “That’s what my son has told me.”

We’ll see what happens. I’m a little bit concerned that John may try to make my son pay for his rejection, but I’ll just keep an eye/ear on that with my son.

#25

“Is there a reason?” I don’t like this situation one bit. I wouldn’t get into any kind of conversation about ‘why’ or ‘why not’. I would just keep repeating, “not interested, not interested, gotta go, bye”. And your son should keep you informed of any harassment. (I went through a similar situation at one time, which is why I’m interested in how this turns out.)