Euthanasiast, you musically uneducated little shit

The BBQ Pit
1

In this thread http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=394799 the debate of John Mayer’s lack of songwriting ability came up, and Euthanasiast, who is apparently incapable of understanding even the most basic of logic, asked me to compare John Mayer to other, equally inept songwriters within the Top 100 of the billboard charts.

As I told him, this is like comparing shit to shit. If you’re trying to make a point that John is in fact a good songwriter, WHY are you challenging me to only compare him to his “peers” on the charts? Do you have any idea how a cogent argument works you twit?

Then you go on to say that John Mayer has songs that don’t get on the radio, that are separate from the pop songs he writes along with his “peers.” How corporate money and marketing power automatically makes someone your musical peer is beyond me, but it was his argument. But what I wonder is, if you’re going to stand up for John, why not bring up his non-pop songs in the beginning? Why did you feel the need to set some kind of trap by asking me to compare him with other people on the pop charts?

But you know what, I tried anyway. And then HAHA! His trap was sprung! I dared to claim that Justin Timberlake is better than John Mayer! I’m such a moron! Comparing a top 10 artist to John Mayer!

You asked, I obliged, you smug douche. And for the record, yes, JT’s new material is MILES above John Mayer’s little pussy boy MOR bullshit for school girls.

Am I a fan of JT? No. Never gonna pick up that album. Don’t even leave the station on when his song pops up. But he’s doing more original shit. At least he’s trying. Meanwhile John is running through the halls of his high school and screaming at the top of his pussy boy lungs. Or is that Jack Johnson? I can never tell those two unoriginal fucks apart.

OH HO! But then you ask me to tell you what lyrics JT has penned that are better than John Mayer’s! Since when do lyrics make a song? Further proof of your apparent lack of musical education or experience.

Then you criticize my picking of Timbaland because “OMG all those rappers he works with are crap! They suck so bad that their producer has to step in and sample!”

First of all get your fucking facts straight. Timbaland rarely samples, and when he does it’s not the way someone with your lack of education or listening ability would think, the way Diddy takes an old song and just rehashes the whole thing. Producers like Timbaland meticulously search through dozens of songs and construct wholly new pieces out of parts from other songs. And even when they use recognizable samples, at least they are used in a new, original sounding context, unlike your precious blues where the same old scales and licks are used over and over again by different artists. How is that any different from the sampling you despise?

And guess what, that’s only on the rare occasions when he DOES sample. Usually it’s synth and drum machines, and the compositions are entirely original.

Before you even respond to this, you might want to take a class on critical reasoning so that next time you don’t make such irrelevant arguments. Because you may not be seeing it yourself, but reading your posts makes me feel absolutely embarrassed for your lack of reasoning and I have a feeling a lot of others would feel the same way.

Have a nice day.

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<Takes out 20sd. Rolls for saving throw against getting WAAAAYYYY too passionate about John Mayer v. Justin Timberlandlake debate. Checks character sheet; notes 43 months EP. Rechecks calculations>

Bad news, dude.

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All the bands you both like suck.

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Haha, I admit, I do get way too heated about arguments. But that’s only because I cannot stand stupid people. They make my hair grey…and I’m only 22. No, seriously, I’ll mail you one of the hairs, I’ve got about 5 so far.

Usually I can tolerate stupid people and laugh it off. But when one of them decides to target ME with their stupidity, oh no, I just can’t stand for that. My chest gets tight and my blood pressure sky rockets and this is the only thing I can do to alleviate that. And after all, this is the SDMB, and is it not our task to battle ignorance?

5

Ur momz face sucks! :stuck_out_tongue:

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22-year-olds are so cute when they get uppity about music! :slight_smile:

I used to be like that, too. But I think you’re right about Mayer’s songwriting: he’s still got a ways to go. However, he no doubt has great musical talent with the guitar…it’s too bad that he’s stuck doing all that adult contemporary crap. But you know what? He’s gotta pay his bills, and if he wants to put his more experimental stuff in side projects, so fucking what? I respect anyone who can make a living making or performing music, whether it’s Timbaland, John Meyer, or Jessica Simpson. Sounds to me like not only is he a good musician, but he’s a good business man as well, and knows what sells.

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Ah. Yet another heated debate about which I can enthusiastically not care.

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I’d do both of them, but I’d do JT first.

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I’ll hold him down, unless you think that’s pathological.

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Who the fuck IS this John Mayer, anyways?

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Here you go.

I think we can all agree categorically here that James Blunt is the worst.

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I’ve heard so much about Mayer’s supposed guitar skills, but I saw some live show where he was demonstrating his non-pop repertoire, and frankly I was not impressed. His played-out blues riffs, however proficient, inspire little in me (I feel the same way about Eric Clapton.) There’s just not much in them that sounds new or innovative to me.

I’m much more impressed by Walter Becker of Steely Dan. Show me a kid who can play like that, and I don’t care if he put out the sappiest, most emo shit - I’ll still respect him.

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First of all, you socially inept, snaggletoothed, quick-dick, fuck stain, as someone who has been playing guitar and studying music while you were still shitting your diapers (and stupefying yourself on mother’s milk made up of liberal amounts of resentment for your birth, mail-man spunk, and Nuprin) oblivious to your future worries of shortcomings with girls and your inability to fully slide up in a female without prema-jaculate squirting down her leg like a shaking puppy, I have forgotten more about music then you will ever know.

I debated long and hard about whether to respond to this text-based abortion you had the unmitigated gall to call a pit thread, but then I see that most of your posts have been pretty fucking vapid and heart-breakingly sad and I guess this is business as usual. It’s just another deep scratch for your twin-sized headboard (located, no doubt, in mom’s basement) to mark off another failure in your life. You don’t have the juice needed to properly pit the likes of me, you human catastrophuck, because you likely bitterly masturbated it all over your crusty, Pittsburgh Steelers bed sheets. If this is your fucking ‘A’ game, bitch, you picked the wrong mother fucking opponent.

You stepped on a fecal IED when you Kramered into a thread and made a comment about something you know fuck all about. It’s my responsibility to tell you the man might have great music tucked outside of the range of the Billboard 100 before you make an uneducated statement about someone’s music you admit to not listening too? You haven’t listened enough to a musician’s work in order to adequately comment on his abilities as a songwriter, yet it doesn’t stop you from shitting all over the man by saying the Michael Jackson wannabe–Justin Timberfake–and his songwriting and sampling team have more talent than Mayer. Your jagged logic constipates me so badly that I feel like I’m trying to shit one of Gene Simmons’s boots over here. You have yet to cite any fresh and original lyrics from a single Timberfake song that so put Mayer miles below, so I have no choice but to assume your grasp on either of them is much like your grasp on the female anatomy, vague and vaporous and about as often as Halley’s comet entering our fucking solar system.

You are a fucking idiot. First you say that knowing how to create great music on the guitar or play one adequately doesn’t make good songwriting. Then you say that the lyrics don’t either. That leaves the drummer and the bass player, you sawed-off puppy fucker. Which is it to be? I understand what it takes to make great music. I understand that the whole is greater than the sum of its equal parts. Do you think Timberfake understands this? Or have his producers informed him yet?

What would you know about school girls, except that your mother told you they all had some cock removing disease, all the while attempting to hide her discomfort from the fact that she had the other half of a pack of Rollo’s in her ass.

Well, since every fucking bit of rock and roll, hip-hop and rap came directly from the blues, that makes you look like even more of an asshole. Besides, you were the one that brought it up, fuck stick. I just commented on it.

What pisses me off the most is that the first time I find myself in a pit thread about me, it had to be written by Rain Man on three bottles of fucking Nyquil.

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I give both of you a thumbs-up for creative swearing, wit, and LIVING THE ANGER, man. You both lose a few points because

Miller speaks the truth.

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Fantastic, Euthanasiast.

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With so few hairs, I recommend that you insure the package.

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How would you like it if Hitler started a band… and then killed you?

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G G E A G E G G E A G E

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He’s pitiful. :smiley:

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A very dull rant, until Euthanasiast spanked the Monkey.

Still dull, but with better opportunities to make jokes at their expense.