My parents, rest their souls, loved their pets. They loved them so much that they let them live out their golden years in what must have been incredible pain. Hindquarters dragging the floor because they could no longer support themselves to walk, blindness, deafness, and who knows what else. Several times my brother and I would try to talk them into having them “put to sleep”, but they would not hear of it, opting instead to mop up their messes sometimes 4 times a day because these poor animals could no longer manage the steps to go outsode to do their business.
My position at that time (and now) was that it would have been a kindness to euthanize them, but I also understood that these pets were my parents’ companions and filled a need that they did not want to give up. They would not have had the patience to deal with kittens or puppies, so they did nothing.
I am not so much defending them or championing my cause as to ask what *your[i/] feelings are and to ask myself if I can be strong enough to do what I wanted my folks to do. What are your opinions?
I hope I can do the right thing if that time ever comes with Jack, my cat. I’ve seen similar stuff with elderly pets, and it’s sad and unfair, but I can sorta see why people do it. Sad though.
I’m kind of torn on the issue. While I agree that euthanizing a pet who is in incurable pain is probably the kindest thing to do I get annoyed at people who put down the family dog the second they develop a slight limp. I suppose it’s a question of how badly off the animal really is and whether or not the people who make the decision are just telling themslves it’s the kindest thing to do while they really just don’t want the expense or inconvenience of caring for a “special needs” pet. For example, deafness or even partial blindness does not seem like a good enough reason…but severe loss of mobility does.
I had an old dog put down when it became half blind and snarly all the time. It wasn’t an easy decision to make, and I stalled for months, but never regreted it.
My best friend and her husband are struggling with this right now. Their 6 year old kitty stopped eating and turned yellow a few days ago. He spent last night in an oxygen tent. He’s been sick for years and they have to feed him pills every night. This is not the first time he’s spent weeks in the hospital. They’ve spent close to $8,000 on this cat and he’s miserable. But they love him so they’re keeping him at the vet and paying the bills.
I’m sure that when one of my beloved kitties starts to fail I’ll probably feel differently, but from a distance I just wish they’d let him go.
My mom’s cat got very old and started having problems. His claws would dig into his paw pads and he’d have terrible infected wounds in his feet. Every step hurt. He also had some kind of cat alzheimers which made him real foggy most of the time. He could barely find the food bowl and sometimes not the litter box.
Finally, the thing that really made his life even more miserable was, his liver failed. He was going to die in three weeks or something. The choice came down to putting him to sleep peacefully and without pain, or letting liver failure kill him slowly and agonizingly over three weeks.
She had him put to sleep. In her living room. While she petted him and comforted him. He was still purring when he slipped away.
I don’t see this issue as much different from human euthanasia, which I am also in favor of. The only difference is that a human being can speak for him or herself, and doesn’t need anyone else to make this decision for them. A pet, on the other hand, probably does need someone else to make that decision.
If it’s certain that there is no chance of survival, and the alternatives are between an extended and painful death, or a brief and painless one, I think it’d be cowardly and perhaps even cruel to make someone or something else suffer extensively just because you’d miss them.
-Ben
I may have to face this soon. The animal is not old, though, he is young, but is having problems breathing. He’s my sweet little guinea pig, Cupid. He’s been to the vet so many times, and tonight he is hospitalized in an oxygen tank.
I have two cats - 13 and 14 y/o respectively. I dread the day that I have to make this kind of choice. So far they’ve both been very healthy - I’ve been very fortunate - but reality tells me that they can’t really last more than another few years at best. It’s difficult to even think about losing my favorite of the two, but seeing him endure life in pain would be far worse.
One of my best friends recently had to have her elderly black lab/retriever mix put down. He was 13 and had bone cancer for the last several months. This was extremely difficult for her, but was it as difficult as having to carry this formerly rambunctious and vital dog down the stairs so he could go outside to relieve himself? Was it as difficult as watching his pain meds become less and less effective? Was it as difficult as watching her previously cheerful, wonderful companion struggle through that pain to be come to her side - still trying to please her, still trying to comfort her - even though he hurt. When the treatment options were exhausted and the pain medication (morphene) ineffective - she let him go.
Pets depend on us for everything in their lives - including as pain free, stress free of a death as possible. To not provide that is selfish. This is not to say that euthanising an ill pet should be the first or even second option, but allowing a pet to suffer physically so that we don’t suffer emotionally is not a compassionate or humane alternative.
My mother’s dog Cindy is 16 now. Cindy has her problems, but really, she’s happy still, and that’s what matters (it helps that she’s on anti-depressants, but that’s a whole other thread). I’m worried that Mum will become one of the people you refer to in her determination not to be one of the people in the OP. She was considering having Cindy put down a couple of years back when Cin’s skin allergies were playing up, but luckily didn’t, as they cleared up within weeks, and didn’t seem to bother the dog that much anyway. She was terrified of doing it, and admits she doesn’t know how she’ll cope without the dog, but she’s scared that she’ll end up keeping the dog alive for her own best interests instead of the dog’s best interests.
I just hope that damn dog is immortal.
Quasimodem’s case? Well, it’s a question of doing the right thing for the ones you love. If your pets are piddling on the floor, but happy, and you’re prepared to clean up after them, good for you. When your poor pet becomes unhappy and is suffering, you have to make the choice - do what’s best for me, or what’s best for my pet? I guess it’s like that “If you love something, set it free” sentiment. If you really love them that much, you have to do what is right for them, no matter how much it hurts you.
I do not have any pets of my own, and thus I am comfortable making these judgements for you from the top of my high horse. IRL, it would certainly test my emotional strength.
Our dog (she lives at my parents’ house) is 14 (she’ll be 15 in August). She’s had arthritis for years and has been incontinent almost since we got her. Last week I was over there and she went to go down the stairs, and she literally dragged her back legs behind her. It was the first (and thus far only) time she’d done it, but my dad and I both saw it and our jaws dropped. When I looked at him, I could tell he was thinking the same thing as me. I also notice that her rear end (where the arthritis is worst) shakes when she stands still. She gets pills for it, but they’re not working as well, and we don’t know what a higher dose will do.
As much as it pains me to say it, I think we’re going to have to make that trip to the vet very soon, definitely within the year. My sister keeps saying, “The vet says she has a few good years.” She forgets that he said that about four or five years ago. My family has had a dog put to sleep before, but I was very young, and my sister was still a toddler. We’ll be helping make the decision this time, and I pray that we can do it when we need to. Chelsea is a good dog, and has been part of the family for so long. I do not want her to suffer.
The more disturbing question comes up when the issue is money-and this is a dilemna I hope never to face. If the choice is between Junior’s college fund and maybe giving Sparky a few more years, what do you do? Or wiping out the down payment you’ve been saving up and resigning yourself to living in an apartment, or going even deeper into debt? This is especially true when millions of animals are put down every day for a lack of a good home: is it really moral to pay $6,000 to extend the life of one dog a couple miles from where hundreds of healthy dogs are being put down for lack of a good home? I really don’t know the answers to these questions, but they are hellish.
I have had to make the decision once, and am facing it again in a year or two probably. Mikey (dog) was blind, had heartworms and skin problems and was getting to the point of snapping at the cats (he loved the cats.) I decided that at that age (indeterminate, but he had cataracts when I got him and I’d had him 10 years), that his quality of life was gone and it was time to let him go. Money had nothing to do with the decision, but I do have a limit as to what I can allow myself to spend on vet bills for pets. It depends on the circumstances, so the limit might be higher now that it was 5 years ago when I was earning so much less…
crying as she reads about the cat purring as he went under…
I was lucky, because Fluffy died in her sleep. She had had a stroke a few months before she died, and she couldn’t see or hear, but she was still okay-eating, using the litter, and sleeping-we basically carried her around alot.
Then, one day, she had must’ve had another stroke, as she couldn’t move. We knew she probably only had a day or so left, so my mom made her a little bed. That night, she went into a coma and never woke up…
Oh shit! Why did I have to read this thread? Now I’m sobbing like a baby. I’m sorry…it’s just, it’s been since August, but I still can’t get over her. I miss her so much…it hurts…oh god…
I wanted so badly to keep my cat Baby alive but he was almost thirteen and his kidneys had been failing for close to a year. So the vet put him to sleep(I wanted to be there but decided that I would probably have to be carried out if I stayed). I buried him next to several other family pets, with his leash, food dish, favorite towel, and a St. Francis medallion on his collar. And to deal with it, within the week I adopted another cat in need of a home.
I am facing this now. My beloved Kate has kidney failure. The vet thinks she has a few months of good quality of life, but there are no promises. I struggled with this with her sister, Fiona, in June. Although the decision of exactly when to do it is an absolute bitch–too soon and you feel guilty, too late and you feel guilty–I found that once I made the decision and took her in, I was at peace. I was with her when she died as I wanted her last moments to be as peaceful and secure as possible. I will do the same for Katie as well. I owe her that much for all the love she has given me.
The hardest thing that I’ve ever personally had to do was hold my dog while the vet put him to sleep. He was a sixteen year old cockapoo (cocker/poodle cross) and he fell off the deck, injuring his shoulder, which subsequently refused to heal. He would yelp every time he even inadvertantly put any weight on that foot and he would wake up crying in the night when he would jostle his leg in his sleep. Yes, he was still was eating and going outside, but he was miserable, every moment of every day. And he was not going to get any better, ever.
I kept him with me for about a month after his fall, and it was the worst month I’ve ever spent. To love an animal so much and not want to let him go . . . but to realize that he had no quality of life and that you are only keeping him alive out of selfishness . . . it was very hard. Hard to slowly realize that if I truly loved him, I had to let him go.
I took him to the vet one Saturday morning after yet another night of pain and crying – for both of us. I don’t know what it was about that particular day, but it was clear to me, without a doubt, what I had to do. I told him how sorry I was that I had let him suffer for so long, and that I hoped he could somehow understand how great love may lead to great selfishness, and that I hoped he would forgive me, not for putting him down but for not doing it earlier. Then I held him on my lap as he went to sleep and died.
I gave his dish, bed, food, and toys to the Humane Society, along with a donation, and I went home and cried. I hope I never again make the mistake of thinking that loving a pet can justify failing to do what is best for that pet, even if it seems impossibly hard to do. I miss that dog to this day (though an equally beloved dog is lying at my feet right now) and to this day I wish I had done better by him.
{{{{{{{{Guinastasia & Jodi}}}}}}}}}}}} My heart goes out to you both. I had to put my dog, Molly, down back in December. She had arthritis in her back legs and out of the blue attacked me. I don’t know who was more surprised, but it was that fork in the road, forcing a decision that I didn’t think I’d have to make, much less do it alone. It’s the hardest thing I ever had to do, and I still miss her terribly.
It’s a difficult thing to say when a pet is better off, in pain, and alive, or put to sleep. Scotti wrote and said something [I hope she doesn’t mind me repeating it] that helped me a lot:
“And in the animal kingdom, as in the people world, we have a tendency to take out our frustrations on the people we love the most. …If she was in that much pain, she wouldn’t have been happy…and the worst thing a dog can feel is that they betrayed their person…”
Isn’t that lovely? Stick by your pet, but when they need you to be strong and do the right thing by them, don’t let them down.
…for all that you have shared with me in this thread. I too am deeply touched by what you have written, and as I write this, my cat Susie is watching me with her head on the keyboard. (She likes to lie underneath the monitor). I want to tell her that when the time comes I will try to be strong for us both as she has been a constant friend to me throughout all the heartache I have had in my life asking nothing except to be loved as she loves me: unconditionally. For those of you who are facing this decision now please know that you are doing the right thing by your beloved pet. For those who will have to make this decision in the future, try to remember the quote in Anti-Pro’s post. Thanks again for all that you have written!
