If you’re lucky, the answer will be “By going back to bed.”
I know! What’s so great and delicious about this particular glurge is that is almost completely 100% idiotic!
Stew is always a crowd-pleaser. The mix enhance and hide the defects of each individual meats.
I agree that you should keep a journal. I’ve been keeping one about my most intimate personal thoughts for 35 years and the parts involving Andreas Baader, Yassir Arafat, a 400 pound Yorkshire sow, and a confused store clerk asking about the Vaseline were the best hits.
Is anybody else reading Eve’s rewrite and thinking that it would be great narrated and set to music–rather like National Lampoon’s Deteriorata? (YouTube video.)
Oh, I can’t stop laughing! I have an old high school friend who sends out a little quote like this every day on Facebook, and I so want to rewrite them now! She means well…she’s gone through a lot of crap in her life (lifelong diabetic, bad divorce from a gay husband, found love again and then needed a liver or kidney transplant, and I think maybe cancer in there somewhere…have lost track) but still…she rarely posts anything anyone wants to read anymore! Maybe I can use this as my Safe Place and post them here for all of us to try rewriting!
Here’s today’s: “If you attach to the negative behavior of others it brings you down to their level.”
I’m visualizing car batteries and jumper cables…
I love you for your mind, Eve. This is terrific.
I know a woman who reminds me a lot of you - another historian and curmudgeon (curmudgine? curmudgeonette? :)) - but she’s handicapped by her Yankee background. If she’d written this at all, it’d be about three short sentences, wise, but no funnier than absolutely necessary.
I believe the preferred nomenclature is curmudgienne.
Maybe this book?
I’m sure that’s the book the list writer intended, yes. I googled it after I read Eve’s post but I hadn’t heard of it before. I guess the author was making a pun on the Sun Tzu book.
I confess to liking some of *both *the lists…
Did they say where the first list came from? Some it sounds like Robert Fulgham
- Don’t be the richest person in the graveyard. But find out who is, and dig them up.
I was dreading filling out the “favorite quote” part of the mini-bio at my next job in March. Now I’m not.
I also especially loved #4. But this is New Yorker quality stuff.
That should probably read “long-term staggering results”.
- blushes prettily *
I wish I took more time with it–lots of typos and lots of quotes that could have been polished–but someone forwarded this to me and I just hit the ground running and had fun with it.
And, really, who *doesn’t *love Sea Monkeys?
Curmudgiatrix.
I guess it’s preferable to “bitch,” which I am *generally *called.
Want me to give your address to my aunts and second cousin? You can get glurge in Spanish! The glurge from cousin doesn’t even always include power points, but one of my aunts hasn’t been able to learn how to delete previous addresses, so you can get… hundreds of addresses of people who’ll love a chance to send you glurge in Spanish!
Bonus: the can’t-erase-addys aunt sends glurge in Catalan too!