Even if I were the richest man in the world . . .

That is, indeed, a very fine catalogue. :wink:

Did you see the push-up thong? :eek: :cool:

And he would cook your meals on, what, a hotplate? A George Forman Grill?

I was watching the Travel Channel and they mentioned a glass of orange juice at the Beverly Hills Hotel was $45.

Not even if the bartender grew the tree from a seed himself and hand squeezed the orange juice in front of me would I ever pay $45 for a glass of orange juice.

Can we get a British to American translation please?

I’m guessing a vanity license plate.

Huh. I was thinking house numbers. You know those fancy-schmancy ones.

Assuming you’re referring to a license plate for a car, around here, they cost $41 for the first year, and $30 to renew. (There are other “activism” plates that cost more, but the money goes to fund things like arts programs or parks, but even they max out at $70 per year. How can one cost thousands?

Gives me an idea… I should charge for custom passwords. The best thing is that in 60 days, they’ll be back for another! :cool:

Diamonds. :mad:

…I’d never pay for sex.

I’ll worry about that when the time comes.

But you get free refills!


The other night, after watching a movie on my projector with some friends, one of them said to me: “You know, I always said that as soon as I was financially stable I’d get a nice projector, or a friend with a nice projector.”

I agree with Monster Cables, because they’re clearly just a waste of money (in fact, extend that to most audiophile idiocy), and diamonds, because I’m politically opposed to them. There are lots of things that I think are needlessly expensive that I wouldn’t buy now, and still wouldn’t buy if I were rich, because they’re simply outclassed by the really expensive options: Harley Davidson bikes, a Cadillac Escalade, Abercrombie and Fitch clothes are all too expensive for what you get, in my opinion. But there are relatively few products that are the most expensive in their class and significantly less than the best. As a rich dude, I’d be all Bugatti supercars and hand-spun tailored silk suits. There’s not a lot of middle ground, there.

A refrigerator with an HD TV in the door. Jesus.

A horse. I know they’re something people with money love to own, but I don’t like them. They kind of scare me. but then, so do rabbits.

I have a paper towel holder somewhere. I never bother to put the rolls of paper towels in it- I just use them as they come from the package.

A status car or an SUV. I might get something a little bigger than my Honda Civic for when we have kids in a couple of years, but it would be something like an Accord or Camry, not an SUV. Parents managed to ferry kids around in regular cars just fine when I was growing up- no reason it can’t be done now. And I just don’t get the appeal of a luxury car. My car is a device for getting me and possibly some other people and/or some stuff from point A to point B.

Designer clothes. I’d probably buy more T-shirts and clothes from Lands’ End, so I could go longer between launderings, but I wouldn’t get designer clothes. Oh, and any clothes that need anything other than machine washing and tumble drying are out, too. Even if the expense of having clothes dry-cleaned doesn’t matter, it’s still a pain to have to do it.

An expensive watch. I’m a klutz, and my watches get banged into something at least once in any given week. Better for me to just have a cheap one from Target and not worry about damaging it.

Expensive furniture or carpeting. Mr. Neville and I have an agreement not to buy any furniture that we wouldn’t let pets get up on, or that we would have a heart attack if they damaged it slightly. A purring lap cat is much nicer than any fancy sofa or chair could ever be, anyway.

Expensive makeup or perfume. I don’t wear makeup from personal choice (it’s a pain, and it tends to change colors on me), and Mr. Neville is allergic to a lot of perfumes, so I don’t wear perfume any more.

An expensive haircut. My hair would just revert to one of its two natural states (Aragorn in Lord of the Rings or Albert Einstein) within a few days, anyway. And no way am I doing anything more with my hair on a daily basis than washing and blow-drying it.

Expensive stereo equipment. I’m tone-deaf.

A house way out in the country, far away from everything else. I hate living where I can’t walk to shops or restaurants.

A house with a huge lawn. I don’t get the appeal of lawns, really. Having a park nearby is just as nice, and somebody else does all the mowing and such there. A lawn sufficiently sized for me to put in a pool and a hot tub and still have some room to grow tomatoes, herbs, and roses will do nicely.

Exotic pets. I would want a few more cats and some dogs, though.

Good luck with that. We bought and returned three carseats before we could find one that kinda sorta fit in our '97 Saturn hatchback - and to do that the passenger seat had to be pulled up to the dashboard for a year, and the seat was still technically a skosh off the proper mandated angle. And carseats just keep getting bigger…

Please, let’s not talk about “mid-sized” strollers that take up the entire “trunk” of the vehicle, okay?

I’m not rich, but the second a decent hybrid SUV comes out, I’ll sell eggs to afford one.

In Hong Kong, a plate with all 8’s will go at auction for tens of thousands US$ (or more).

Plus the rules are different there, someone can pay a premium (i.e. outbid you) for your existing plate number and the following month, their version of the DMV will inform you you have to surrender it to the new owner.