Girl I’m dating right now landed a new job. Said job requires her to periodicaly get up in front of a large group of people to do some public speaking (going over reports crap like that)
Anyway she’s deathly affraid of this. She’s had to go up a couple of times already and was completely humilliated because of her obvioous nervousness. (i.e. shakey voice, hands trembling, sweating ect…)
A friend of hers at work sugested hypnosis. To myself it doesn’t sound like too bad of an idea except I’m still not sure if this is a legitimate science or not.
So any input from my fellow dopers would be appreciated.
(input from hypnosis for WHATEVER reasons is totally welcome. thanks.)
I did hypnosis to quit smoking. A co-worker had success, so I went to her hypnotist. it was weird - I was really hypnotized and the feeling was like I was there, but powerless. I could hear things and was aware, but I couldn’t move or speak. It was a cool experience, but it didn’t help me quit smoking. It doesn’t hurt to try, and like I said it was a neato experience.
My wife is a psychotherapist and she uses hypnosis with her clients all the time.
As was pointed out, hypnosis is merely a deep meditative state. When under hypnosis, you are able to concentrate in a MUCH more focused fashion, and getting yourself into the hypnotic state isn’t difficult once you get the hang of it.
As with quite a few other therapies, hypnosis is not something that is used as a one time cure all. Over time, hypnotists can help you with a variety of things from quitting smoking to weightloss to lower anxiety levels. It would work for your GF if she were to see the hypnotist on a regular basis for a few weeks. I suggest she do it, and work with the results.
Tell her to go to the doctor and get a prescription for Indural. I had the exact same problem. If I was talking in front of a group or meeting a bunch of new people, I would be sweating, my voice would be cracking, and my hands would be shaking. Indural takes care of all that.
You don’t have to be on it all the time. Just take it when you need it. It takes a couple of hours to kick in and is good for about 4 hours after that.
It won’t help if she has a mental anxiety about public speaking–it only alleviates the physical symptoms.
It’s a beta-blocker in a very low dose. It works great for me and I would definitely recommend it for your girlfriend.
Of course, another option is for her to get better at public speaking. There may be some presentation-skills classes she could take–even just the practice of getting up in front of a group of people can be helpful.
Some other thoughts:
Does she practice on her own before getting up in front of the group? That can help too.
Some simple breathing exercises might also help.
Another standard tip: Pick specific people in different sectors of the audience to speak to.
She should remember that while giving the talk, she is the expert on the material. The other people want to be there (or at least they should), and the whole experience should be good for everyone–the audience isn’t there to judge her.
The better she knows the material, the better she’ll do.
This may sound a little weird, but she should remember that nervousness is just another manifestation of energy. And having lots of energy around a presentation is a good thing, so she just needs to re-channel that energy. When she gets up in front of the group, she should try to project that energy into a connection with the audience–I don’t mean that she should talk louder, but that she should feel like she giving off energy and using some of that energy as a bridge between her and the audience.
Having taught classes where hypnosis was covered, I’m going to agree with Hunter Hawk that your GF is best off developing her skill and comfort at public speaking. Confidence will come in time.
That’s not to say that she wouldn’t benefit from hypnosis’ relaxation effects; she would, but I think psychologically, when you know you aren’t relying on anything other than your knowledge to get you through it, you feel much more confident, and it definitely shows.
Maybe your girlfriend could practice by first talking to a dozen or so family members and friends about mundane, non-work-related topics. The point of doing so would be to get used to being the focal point of a lot of people. She could do this weekly, gradually integrating some of her speech material into her talk. This test audience could also act like a real audience by asking her questions and providing her with verbal and nonverbal feedback on her overall impression as a speaker.
She could also try to pinpoint if there’s anything specific she’s afraid will happen while she talks, and then evaluating the reality of such fears and what can be done to counter them. If she’s afraid of looking nervous, for example, her test audience could tell her what symptoms of nervousness she gives off, and she can then try to stifle or avoid them.
Yes and no. Medication is a really poor choice but hypnosis is harmless and not to be avoided. I did a public speaking course and the major revelation was that however badly you think you are doing the audience only picks up a fraction of it. I have been hypnotised lots of times and think “Girl” should do it just to see what it is like. It’s all experience and stuff that some people poo-poo works a charm for others.
Sure, have her give hypnosis a try, especially if it seems to give her some confidence, but I would also recommend some public speaking training and Toastmasters. They have chapters virtually everywhere.
I saw a hypnotherapist for about a year in order to learn to manage severe crippling pain without drugs. At first, I was guided by him through the sessions, learning at first to simply cut off by various means perception of the pain; later I was taught how to focus on removing the pain perception from the areas affected only and refocusing on my attention on whatever activities had to be done.
Has it made a difference to my life? A big one. A few years ago, I was living from one dose of pain meds to the next, without ever getting any real relief. I was pretty much numb to my surroundings. a sick woman. Now I take no medications at all, only an occasional aspirin for a headache-- my post-hypnotic suggestions to myself don’t work as well when I have a headache, for some reason. I drive my car everywhere, I work, I work out at the gym, I entertain family. Perhaps I don’t do as much as I did 20 years ago, but maybe that 's just age, and I sure feel as though I have a new lease on life.
BTW, I remember my doctor saying to me : The good news is that you’re not going to die of this. the bad news is that you’re going to have to learn to live with this pain for the rest of your life. That news seemed overwhelming at the time, but thanks to hypnotherapy, here I am.
SHAKES, if I were your friend, I’d give hypnosis a try before meds. Just make sure that she gets someone qualified.
I would say to get the Indural first and then work on other solutions. The Indural will immediately prevent the symptoms and give her time to find a different long-term solution if she wants.
I don’t know if your girlfriend is like me, but I was not nervous when I would get the physical symptoms. I don’t mind public speaking and I’m pretty comfortable meeting new people. Many times I’ll be carrying along just fine when suddenly I’ll feel sweat dripping down my back and my face getting flush. It literally comes from nowhere. My body just decides to give me a random squirt of adrenaline and mess me up. Of course when it happens, it makes things worse since I become worried about dealing with the physical symptoms.
Read up on Indural. Many performers and athletes use it to calm their nerves. Like I said, you only take it when you need it so you’re not on it all the time. I haven’t noticed any side-effects and I couldn’t be happier with it.
I used a hypnotist to quit smoking one time. Both my wife and I went to see the therapist and did a joint hypnosis session. It didn’t effect her at all and she went on smoking. I, on the other hand, just stopped as if I never had smoked at all - no withdrawl or cravings. About 8 weeks later I picked up a cigarette and resumed smoking as if nothing had happened. I assume that the hypnosis had programmed me to start again so that I would pay for another session.
I have been hypnotized several times and even performed hypnosis on a few occasions. It is most certainly a real phenomenon (though quite a bit different from the stereotypical view of hypnosis).
However, this is stage hypnosis. Stage hypnosis differs considerably from hypnotherapy. I’m certainly not an expert, but much of what I’ve read reagarding hypnotherapy is that its not a lasting solution. You really have to work at it yourself to make it permanent (ie, learn self-hypnosis).
Is it not right that certain people should avoid hypnosis? I had always thought that because I have a history of depression I was one of these, but am I right?