Is this a whoosh? I assume the woman is pregnant, not the ferret.
:smack: No. I’m sorry. I’m an idiot with a reading comprehension problem.
That sounds like the old joke:
Salesman: “This thermos bottle will keep hot drinks hot or cold drinks cold.”
Customer: “How does it know?”
Charming.
I worked for a bank, a Prince among thieves, approving mortgages in the mid naughties, and was often bemused as to how an explanation of a mortgage was needed.
It’s like a loan, but it’s secured against the house you’re buying. Yes, yes you should pay it back, because it’s a loan. There are lots of ancient rules which make the process complicated for you, but it is just a loan from the bank to you. Leave the paperwork to your solicitor - that’s what you pay him to do.
No, if you cannot afford it I cannot authorize it. Yes I know you want the house but it’s probably the biggest investment you’ll ever make and I’m required by the Financial Services Authority to ensure you have sufficient income to make the repayments.
Yes, we would prefer you insure your home although you’re not required to insure your tv.:rolleyes: Critical illness protection pays your mortgage payment if you’re ill, it does not pay off your mortgage. Our insurance isn’t refundable if you don’t make a claim - that is because it’s insurance.
If I knew what interest rates will do in the future I’d be a millionaire. No, the Prime Minister or the Chancellor do not set interest rates - it’s been the Bank of England’s mandate for several years now.
No, I cannot talk to you about your friend/client’s mortgage!:dubious: If you continue this abusive call I will have to terminate it etc..
I can totally relate, I work with reptiles so many of my
things are about animals too. One that always gets me is that so many adults think all snakes are venomous. Coming from a kid that is expected but grown ups I would have thought this was general knowledge.
Clearly, thermoses are filled with aspirin.
Blonde #1: “This thermos bottle is amazing. It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.”
Blonde #2: “What do you have in it now?”
Blonde #1: “Two cups of coffee and a Popsicle.”
Had lunch with a coworker, a Canadian guy who’s in his 40s and has both an MBA and a CFA, and seems to be pretty well educated. We were talking about books and I mentioned that I had finally gotten around to reading some of Kurt Vonnegut’s stuff. I was really surprised when he indicated he had no idea who Kurt Vonnegut was – not just that he’d never read him (as I hadn’t until recently) but he was never aware that there was an author out there by that name. Given his age and background, I was pretty surprised.
A couple of weeks back, Mom said something about having heard that all rivers flow south except for the Nile, and isn’t that amazing?
Me: “the Nile, right… and the Miño, Duero, Tajo, Guadiana, Guadalquivir and Ebro.” (The biggest rivers in Spain as I had to learn them in school. The Ebro is seen from her windows, btw. They all flow E-W except for the W-E Ebro)
Mom: :smack: “ohmygod, and the Júcar and Segura!” (her list of big rivers was longer; W-E).
Me: “let us not forget the Llobregat and Besós…” (the rivers which bracket Barcelona, her hometown. W-E)
From there we went international. It was just a brainfart, but it was a funny one.
I have chickens and got the same question in regards to how long chickens nurse… because selling newly hatched chicks is cruel. They need to nurse to get immunity to diseases and stuff. :smack:
Well, I just saw a new example, and unfortunately, it makes liberals look like idiots.
I’m a liberal, and I generally leave my TV on MSNBC during the afternoon because I’m a big fan of Rachel Maddow, but I generally can’t stand Chris Matthews. I disagree with a lot of his opinions, and I hate the way he never lets anyone finish a sentence. But I never knew he was such an idiot.
At the beginning of his show today, he showed a clip of Grover Nordquist, the guy who got all the Republicans to sign a “No tax increases ever” pledge, giving a speech about what his wing of conservatives wanted in a President. And basically, they just want him to sign their bills. They don’t want his input, they don’t want his leadership, they just want him to be able to hold a pen.
So Chris and his guests, liberal editor Howard Fineman and even former RNC chairman Michael Steele, had a good laugh about that, and then Fineman began his comments about it by saying, “Now you may say that’s hubristic…” and Matthews interrupts, “Who came up with that word? Was that Stephanopolous?”
Fineman, apparently embarrassed for him, says, “I think it’s an a word,” and Matthews says, “OK, hubristic meaning smart-aleck.”
For the love of god, how can a guy who has been reading political material for 50 years not know what hubris means, or even that it’s not something someone just made up?
From your description, it doesn’t look like anyone was challenging the word “hubris.” The word “hubristic” is the one being mocked, and rightly so.
Why rightly so? From wikipedia, as well as common sense: “The adjective form of hubris is ‘hubristic’.”
I’m pretty bad with some things…
I have no idea about any kind of wars. No education on it what-so-ever. I couldn’t tell you who was involved or why… It just doesn’t interest me, but will research for the sake of knowing 
I have very little knowledge of the solar system
Most things that amaze me with people is how ignorant they can be with mental health and psychological issues… Some people don’t realize that depression is an illness… Which to me is shocking.
A girl I knew from high school got herpes and I wanted to warn a friend of mine who was 21 at the time… He said. “what’s herpes?”
I don’t think the issue is whether or not it’s a word; rather that it’s a fifty-cent word where a simple term would do.
Using a tampon = losing your virginity.
Wearing a ponytail while on the scale will result in less weight on the scale.
Males can’t pee sitting down.
Yep. Heard this all.
I had always thought this was true. (At least, that using a tampon would tear the hymen. A torn hymen is not the same as not being a virgin, obviously… Except, alas, that some people believe that!)
I can almost understand the weird logic of the other two but the ponytail thing is shocking. I would love to hear the reasoning on that one.
Speaking of reporters being clueless about the space program, I remember watching the first space shuttle launch, when a young reporter asked an astronaut if the shuttle was going anywhere near Jupiter.
I submit to you the experiment I performed for the benefit of my classmates who believed that:
open a tampon.
Look at its size. Poke it. Flex it.
If you think that’s big enough and hard enough to rip a hymen, you need to get better acquainted with hard-ons.