put a sign on your bag that says
I HAVE ADDED A SPECIAL LITTLE INGREDIENT TO ONE OF THE ARTICLES IN THIS BAG. IF YOU EAT IT I WILL WRITE ON HERE TOMMORROW WHAT IT WAS AND WATCH YOU VOMIT ACROSS THE CAFETERIA.
That should work.
I once gave my boss’s lunch to a co-worker.
My co-worker was hungry and I told her I had an extra frozen dinner in the freezer she could have. I described it to her and she went back to the kitchen, found the dinner and put it in the microwave. About the time she was taking the dinner out of the microwave the boss walks into the kitchen to see her getting ready to eat his lunch!
Much haler ensued. He asked her what she was doing and she said In Concievable said I could have it.
I’ve never had anything stolen from our communal fridge - that means either I have the most incredibly honest co-workers, or else my sandwich concoctions are truly revolting.
I can understand them not wanting to take the soya-milk though, if it weren’t for my lactose intolerance, I wouldn’t want to use it either!
Once we had a potluck luncheon at work. My co-worker whose milk was often stolen brought in a huge beautiful fresh fruit salad. The big boss LOVED kiwi-fruit, so when the potluck began she helped herself to ALL the sliced kiwi and left none for anyone else.
Ever notice at potlucks the same people tend to bring really great dishes and the other same people tend to bring cheap stuff like chips and dip? One year a woman (since retired and the worst team player ever) brought one flippin’ bag of potato chips and one jar of (I kid you not) EXPIRED dip. I looked at the expiration date (March of that year) and we were in the month of May, told her the dip was expired. Her reply, “Oh, it’s still good.” What flippin’ part of EXPIRED did she not understand? (I advised everyone to not eat the dip.) And she’s also always the first in line at potlucks and has at least four helpings of everything.
I really wonder who the h*ll raised the people who do this. What is going through their minds?
Susan
I can guess what is going through their minds: ‘The h*ll with everyone else, as long as I’m okay and well-fed.’
The laziest guy in our office surprisingly volunteered to clean out the fridge every Friday. We found out he just wanted to be a scavanger…collecting whatever goodies he could that were worth salvaging. This also included frozen dinners people left in the fridge…
Also, in college, some dorms had a common kitchen area with a common freezer. Although padlocked, some just couldn’t help but help themselves to others’ dinners.
Some people have no shame! - Jinx
It could also just inspire retaliation. I used to keep eight-packs of 20 oz. Mountain Dew bottles in the fridge at a place I used to work which didn’t have a Pepsi machine. I got tired of them being pilfered, so I decided to try this little trick. I opened and re-closed each bottle in the eight-pack, and put a sign on the bottle-holder saying, “One of these bottles has been peed in. You guess which.”
The next day, I went to get a soda, and saw this added to the sign: “Now, two of them have been peed in.”
Bastards.
(OK, that didn’t really happen-I’m just passing on a UL. Great story, though, huh? 
)
Yeah, that is a great story. Heehee! Speaking of beverages:
Big boss used to say she’s a tea drinker, not a coffee drinker because she doesn’t like the taste of coffee, but loves the aroma of a fresh-made pot of coffee. Bear with me; there’s more to this anecdote.
Some workplaces generously pay for coffee for the staff to enjoy. My workplace doesn’t. The coffee drinkers chip in for coffee grounds by taking turns buying a large can of coffee.
At some point we learned the Big Boss had been helping herself to the coffee without telling us. It was very early in the morning. I was the first to arrive a little past seven a.m. Made a full pot of coffee. I made it a habit to eat my breakfast first in the staff lounge, then top it off with a cup of coffee. My co-worker (whose milk was often stolen) came in, but checked her voice mail for messages before coming in for her morning cup of coffee. So at this point no one yet had poured any coffee from the full pot. Then the Big Boss came in. The one who claimed to not be a coffee drinker. I was reading my newspaper, so I didn’t pay attention to what she was doing. Then my co-worker returned to pour herself a cup of coffee. I heard her gasp in surprise and I looked up. The coffee pot was only HALF-FULL! She and I had not yet poured our coffee yet. I immediately turned to see the BIG BOSS seated at the other table in the kitchen. She had in front of her a VERY TALL mug, steaming with liquid. She had helped herself to half the pot! But she still did not want to chip in to pay for any coffee grounds, claiming that she only drinks coffee once in a while, and has ‘only an eighth of a cup’.
We e-mailed everyone and told them that if they were only occasional drinkers of coffee they were to pay us twenty-five cents a cup. A bargain these days for a cup of hot coffee. Either that or join the club and chip in by taking turns buying a can of coffee grounds. Big Boss told she since she only drinks occasionally and doesn’t pour herself a full cup (claiming she only drinks one-eighth of a cup - her SUPER TALL MUG! compared to our regular mugs), she only wanted to pay for a fraction, not the full twenty-five cents for a cup of coffee. Two of us in the coffee club got so disgusted with her attitude that we quit the coffee club and opted to make our own coffee at home to drink there before leaving for work.
I knew a co-worker who had her lunch sandwiches consistently stolen from her. After trying everything else, she scooped up some of her dog’s poo from the backyard, made a tasty sammich and left the decoy lunch in the communal fridge. (Started locking her real lunch in her locker.)
She found it later in the fridge with exactly one bite taken.
And her samiches were never pifered again. YMMV
How did the culprit know which were hers?
I would be pretty pissed if I knew someone put dog poo in the work fridge.
In the building where I work, there is a “break room” on the main floor with a full-size frige, a microwave, and a toaster oven. My cow-orker and I would frequently bring in a few days’ worth of frozen meals (small stuff) and put them in the freezer. He usually brought in french bread pizzas, lasagna, etc. I brought in Amy’s organic vegetarian stuff. His stuff consistently disappeared, mine never did. I finally sprung for a half-size fridge for the office, though.
I had just commented to the better half about this very type of inter-company pilferage. Many thanks to those who posted! At least I don’t feel alone when my leftovers magically disappear.
Sort of off topic but thought it was just as funny…
Cow-orker has made it a twice in a row event of not grabbing the right lunch from the take-out bag. In both instances he happened to take the managers lunch by “mistake” yet, claimed he had ordered that which he was eating. (Accidental lunch upgrade to sirloin sandwich from basic hamburger).
Third time comes around for placing orders and, the boss asks this guy what he wants to order. The reply comes back, (No joke), “Oh, I’ll just have what your having.”
The boss didn’t laugh.
Oh, I almost forgot. This same lunch nabber spent about five or six minutes reading the menu and, preparing to order on the fourth or, last group outing. All this time the boss was waiting to write down his order, (Our boss is patient and forgiving).
He then looks in his wallet and says, “I almost forgot, I haven’t got any cash. Can I get a loan for lunch?”
I think he went hungry that time.
Long time ago we had a workstudy person who stole food from the snack shop on the first floor of the Court House. Easy for him to do because the business was owned and operated by a blind couple. Pretty low, huh? I’m surprised he didn’t get caught and arrested because there are plenty of officers from the Sheriff’s Dept. walking around throughout the Court House.
Once he even tried to borrow money from the Big Boss to buy lunch. She told him he needed to manage his finances better. I don’t think she loaned him any money.