A friend of mine from down under asked what a White Castle was, as he had logged in one day while we were talking about it in EQ.
This was my response to that which I posted on our guild message board:
For those unlucky enough to not know what a White Castle is, they’re a Fast food joint. They sell these tiny little burgers, that have earned the nickname “belly bombers” by EVERYONE, because of what these little bastards do to the human gastro-intestinal organs. “but if they do that to you, why do you continue to eat them?”, you ask? My Child, you do not know the power of a belly bomber, or the crave that they can induce for large copious amounts of consumption of them on the weak human mind. I have seen people eat these things and wash them down with Pepto-Bismol (and I am NOT kidding). These things are like crack to the normal population.
But they have numerous side effects. BAD ones. One of them is the creation of huge deadly deposits of methane in the human body. Lighting a match or Cigarette around a Belly bomber eater, is likely to induce a natural gas explosion which could have the same devastation as a 10 megaton nuke. But alas, if it is not destroyed that way, then you must deal with it when it transmutes into a stenchful deady toxic nerve gas, which will kill most people when it finally exits the belly bombers nether regions.
But DANG they’re good! But I know that when I fart, and the German shepard looks at me, whines, and then runs off out of the room, the Belly bombers have reached fruition, and I must hide myself away from the general population.
When I was in high school (back in the Mesozoic Era) there was a White Castle on the intersection where I changed busses on the way home. IIRC they were two for a quarter then (hey, I said it was a while back) and if I had the quarter to spare I would pick up a couple to hold me until supper.
Haven’t had any in a while; I don’t think I’ve seen any actual White Castles in my neighborhood, although I have seen sliders being sold frozen in the stores.
Ah, the pickle controversy. The only right way is to remove the pickle before consumption, so that you may enjoy the benefits of pickle essence without the horrors of pickle texture. Since this feat is generally accomplished with one hand while driving on the freeway, it helps greatly that the burgers stand up in those little boxes.
And shrew, one of my son’s first words was “Kwsytal!” shouted enthusiastically at the sight of the Krystal sign when we lived at Ft. Benning.
Now I have such a craving…and I drive right by a 24-hour White Castle on the way to work…but I don’t have a day off until Saturday, and I have a date…damn those onions!
So, just how big/small are these critters? Do they come in buns/bread etc? I wondered if we even were talking about burgers when people are talking about eating FIFTEEN of them. Jeeesus. I’ve gotta get me to the 'States, sometime… [sub]and thanks to these boards I’m amassing a huge number of things to do/try; I’ve just added whitecastles to the list…[/sub]
They are little. Make a circle by touching your thumb to your index finger. That is about how big they are but oddly they each come in their own tiny little box . They consist of little tiny buns, a little onion soaked beef patty and one pickle slice.
If only I could explain what you are missing… sigh
About 2 1/2 inches by 2 1/2 inches - a square hamburger patty (with holes in it - when they grill them they sit on top of the onions on the grill and the holes in the patties let them steam cook) on a square bun with two pickles on them - it’s food of the gods. As if they even deserve something that good. Pair a sack of twenty up with a couple orders of onion rings and a couple sixers of Old Style Tall Boys - Missy need never want for anything again…ever. For any reason. Why would I when that would be heaven?
Ok. Now my mouth is watering. A lot. As I say, they’re on my list. How many should a whitecastle-virgin order on his mini-heaven-in-small-bun-deflowering ritual?
Start with four. You’ll finish those and order another four, I’m sure.
Gradually you’ll work your way up to the Sack of Ten.
And then you’ll be able to participate in a Crave Case, a briefcase-sized box of hamburgers. (I’ve got two crave cases on my cubicle walls. I intend to wall myself into a Fortress of Cravitude.)
Thanks a lot. Now my poor stomach, which hasn’t had any sliders in months, is whimpering for some stench burger goodness.
I adore White Castle. I also have the amazing talent of suffering no ill effects as a result of consuming them. Most people I know get at least a severe case of gas from them, but I could eat them until I’m stuffed with nary a consequence.
A couple of White castle stories. Many years ago, I was sent on a WC run to the store on Boston Post Rd in Da Bronx and the order was for well over 100 (It was for about 10 folks) I walked in alone,late at night and put the order in the woman at the counter inquired if it was for here or to go!(even at my best there was noway I could down over 100 by myself
Now for the BAD news - I went to get a few burgers and a bag of Onion rings-sniff- they no longer sell them- they now have onion bits or what ever they are calling them- NOT GOOD!
I am now in morning
This very day the Tribune ran a recipe for “White Tassels” - a knockoff of Sliders. I’ve never tried it – why, when you can pick 'em up from around the corner? – but someone who doesn’t live near a White Castle might want to.
WHITE TASSELS
1/4 cup dry minced onion
1/4 cup hot water
2 pounds ground round
3 ounces jar strained beef or veal baby food
2/3 cup canned clear beef broth
1 package regular hot dog buns
Combine dry minced onion and hot water in a cup and let stand about 10 minutes to soften.
In a medium mixing bowl combine the meat, strained beef, and broth.
Shape into 16 patties.
Cut each hot dog bun into 2 equal pieces and cut off rounded ends.
On lighted oiled griddle or electric skillet, fry patties over medium heat.
Make 3 or 4 holes in each patty with the spatula handle.
Place 1 tablespoon of the onions next to the patty, then when you turn the patty, put down on the onions.
Press firmly with spatula to flatten and fry until well done.
Put the patty onto a bun half and serve with dill pickles, mustard, and ketchup.
Serve promptly.
