Several years ago, when my mom was still alive . . . I was upstairs on the computer, she was in the living room watching TV. Then she called up to me to come down and see who’s on TV. So I went down.
MOM: “Oh, you just missed Carter’s grandmother.”
(Now, I remember when Carter was President, and his mother lived with them in the White House.)
ME: “You mean his mother. And she can’t still be alive after all these years.”
MOM: “No, his grandmother. she was just on TV.”
ME: “You mean an old photograph of her?”
MOM: “No, I think it was live.”
ME: “That’s not possible. His mother was already pretty old when he was President.”
(Then, she just looked at me for a few seconds.)
MOM: “Not *THAT *Carter, the one on ER. The actress who played his grandmother was just on TV.”
I agree, it is amazing and most times irritating to me. I like to talk to people who are on the same wavelength so you can actually have a conversation.
More and more I am realizing that many people have hearing problems but others are just not listening. They live in their own little worlds and are shutting you out. What you have to say isn’t important to them, but they want to talk plenty.
When I could count the length of my marriage in months, I was at the mall with my pregnant wife Christmas shopping. We had a long list of crap to buy, and both of us were mildly bitching in generalities about the lines and the overall waiting.
I turned to her and asked, “You want to split up?” VWife burst into immediate tears. :dubious:
“Why do you want a DIVORCE?” :bawls some more:
“I meant dividing the shopping list to save time.” :dubious: :grumble:
“Oh.”
I think the preggo hormones stoked that particular fire.
When I first saw the thread title I thought this was going to be about being misunderstood but the OP seems more keen on being misheard.
I am rarely misheard, but I am misunderstood all the time. Even happens quite a bit on the SDMB. Happens a lot to us computer folk, who tend to say things in a clear and unambiguous way. So people “interpolate” meaning and go weird.
(Eating dinner)
“Is this a new recipe?”
“What’s wrong with it?”
???
I think it’s more about being misunderstood. Actually, it’s really about people hearing what they want to hear and filtering out anything that doesn’t fit. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had this conversation:
Him: So are you into sports?
Me: No, not at all.
Him: tries to process information Great, how do you think the Sox will do this year?
My co-worker Rob had just had one of those little arguments with his wife, and they were driving along the interstate in an uncomfortable, pissed-off silence. Rob’s wife has the car’s vent system going full blast, and Rob is feeling a bit chilly. Of course, as driver, she has control over the car’s heating system, so, a bit grumpily, he says:
“I’ve had enough air.”
There’s a looooooonnnnnng silence, and then his wife says in a little tiny voice,
Oh lordy, something like that happened to me years ago, before my wife and I were married. But I was the one who misunderstood, so I can’t even blame it on hormones.
We were at her house, playing Hand and Foot, which is played with multiple decks of cards. At one point, she’d left to do something or other, came back, and offhandedly remarked, “I think we should separate.”
I’m stunned. What the hell did I do wrong? And then she finished her thought. “…the cards.” And I started breathing again.
When I was a kid, a neighborhood boy came to my door and asked if I’d seen Rambo. I told him I’d seen part of one, and was explaining that I didn’t remember if it was the original or the sequel or…when he interrupted me and asked if I’d seen his dog. Named Rambo.
I don’t think that is an example of misunderstanding. That is an example of an automatic response so ingrained that you haven’t paid attention to the greeting, or just made an assumption before your brain actually processed it. It’s like when a server says “enjoy your meal” or an airport worker says “enjoy your flight” and you say “you too!”. Just an automatic response without thinking.
I worked in a warehouse in the early 70s. My very classy Italian boss spoke in broken english. One day he asked me Whatsa dat ashit over there ? My reply What size shoes do I wear ?
My above non-sequitor reminded me of a joke that applies to the topic.
For his 70th birthday, a man’s wife decides to treat him.
“When we go to bed tonight,” she says to him, “I’m going to give you some super sex.”
After considering it, the man says, “I’ll go with the soup.”
Part of my job is asking people what their occupation is. When they say “Cartographer”, I reply: “I actually know what a cartographer is.” Their immediate response is always to start to explain to me what a cartographer is.
:dubious: