so? have you?
'been wondering how credible the potrayal of this disease(if it can be called that) is. the books i’ve read seem to be pop-psychology.
I’ve never known a diagnosed psychopath. Or sociopath. Or someone with antisocial personality disorder.
I know someone whom I think is a sociopath.
I went to an online psychology website, looked at the symptoms of sociopaths, and of the 14-or-so, he fit 13. With 5 or more, they suggest screening.
I’ve dated a few. Those psycho women really seem to like me for some reason…
oh yeah, sociopaths as well. my understanding of the difference between the two is that a sociopath has a limited conscience; restricted to his/her immediate family or animals. a psychopath, so the story goes, has none at all.
I have known someone who I believe to be a psychopath. He began by making jokes on a local messageboard, and it lead into threats on people’s lives and stalking.
He was convinced that myself and a few of my friend’s were to blame for him being ostracised by the online community and the real life one. He vandalized my friend’s door, called CPS on a friend of ours, falsely reported that another friend was selling drugs out of his home, and he slandered and threatened me and my child on a public messageboard. I have no doubt that one day I will read about him in the paper because he has done something horrible to himself or to someone else. Psycho.
My understanding is a bit different. They used to use the word psychopath - then they updated it to sociopath, and now it’s antisocial personality disorder, I believe.
No, but all my friends do…
My brother is a psychopath/sociopath. Touch of schizophrenia thrown in. He’s medicating and so a little gentler these days, but he’s still a tricky guy to be around.
What exactly were you wondering?
Do you mean Warren, a neighbor that I rode on the school bus with for ten years? He was a “special needs” kid, a big brute but really quite gentle.
That is, until he moved to a town 100 miles away after high school. He supposedly asked a girl for a date, and after she turned him down, he returned to her apartment and stabbed her eleven times (she died).
He’s at the state psychiatric hospital now…
I had a buddy who was a physician. He had intended to become a psychiatrist, but became less and less interested in “problems of the mind” as he put it. His take on sociopaths was simple. He said that whenever he worked with a true sociopath, they always made him feel like he needed to give them something–a prescription, some money, an excuse, absolution…whatever. And he said the really good, really scary ones, were so good at it, they were successful, and you didn’t realize that you’d been had, until after the fact.
Here’s a site that gives definitions for APD, sociopathy and psychopathy. Apparently they are three separate things, based on degree of antisocial behavior - from being simply a jerk to keeping a collection of heads in the fridge. APD is kind of a catch-all term for anyone who basically does anything criminal or violent.
Sociopaths basically have no remorse or guilt but are of a temperament that allows them to socialize with society, as opposed to psychopaths who have abnormal temperaments.
The definitions on the web site are pretty vague though. For example, the common traits of a sociopath:
Egocentricity
Callousness
Impulsivity
Conscience defect
Exaggerated sexuality
Excessive boasting
Risk taking
Inability to resist temptation
Antagonistic, deprecating attitude toward the opposite sex
Lack of interest in bonding with a mate
So basically this describes nearly half of Manhattan.
But I would guess if you had a boss who seemed to care only about his/her own advancement, was lying and manipulative, and in their 40s and single (indication of a lack of desire to bond with a mate), there is a good chance they might be a sociopath. Remember that socio/psychopath does not mean serial killer.
it’s hard for me to imagine a person without a conscience. i don’t understand exactly what that means. i have yet to come across anyone who has no morals whatsoever. even the bad ones have some - for mostly the same reasons that the good people have them.
I dated/lived with a diagnosed Sociopath. (I don’t know if that’s what the “diagnosis” was, or APD, but he was a sociopath).
It was creepy. And I concur with mailman - if you spend any time with a person of this sort you really feel like you owe them something, or that you should give them something, or do things for them.
I can assure you, however, that it’s possible for a person to have no conscience, and it’s uncomfortable to spend any amount of time with them.
I’ve known two people in my life who I think were sociopaths.
One was a guy I knew since grade school (I’m 45). When we were both 26, it was revealed that he had been conducting a stalking/harrassment campaign against two of his former superior officers from when he was in the Navy. He had sent them threatening letters, and driven several hundred miles to Norfolk to set fires and fire guns into their homes. Most of us who knew him were surprised – he was really weird, but didn’t strike us as dangerous.
The other was a woman I dated. She had been an officer in the Marine Corps, and later worked as a systems analyst for a defense contractor. She had absolutely no conscience that I ever saw any sign of, but she was very good at hiding it. As such, people who knew us both thought that I was the one at fault when things later turned sour between us. I consequently allowed myself a little gloating when she was later busted for drug dealing.
I stopped associating closely with, let’s call him “Wesley,” when I was in my mid teens, he was about 20. There were a few layers of dysfunction–Dad never liked him and was quick with physical retribution for disobedience, mom overcompensated by being overly protective of him. Of course, his temperament was such that he was always in trouble in school for one thing or another, and he was also brilliant with mechanics and electronics even when he was a small kid. He could take a transistor radio apart and solder it back together again from memory when he was 10. He didn’t do well in school, he was not well-received at home.
When he’d bully me and I threatened to rat him out he could wheedle like nobody I knew–sometimes with false blackmail (he’d make up stuff that I couldn’t disprove to blackmail me) or by appealing to my sense of mercy (you KNOW what Dad will do to me!) whether or not he needed punishing. At games his strategy was lie cheat & steal, fake injury, cause injury, fake confusion for a second chance–anything but accept defeat. He could ride a dirt bike like nobody I’d ever seen. he was without fear the point of recklessness.
He was never motivated by “approval” from one or both parents, any time he received it he was visibly uncomfortable. He would often “drop the ball” with regard to school, chores or even major peronal tasks in order to avoid it. He had LOTS of short relationships with girls his own age. He was, and still is, a master charmer and completely self-interested. His recklessness (as noted above) he told me on several occaisions stems from his need to “red-line” all the time. By this he means he needs to feel the presence of death at hand. IN his hand. He wants death close, but at his control. He savors his victories.
As he approached 20 he had gotten himself into a bit of trouble with a local narcotics distributor and his only option was to leave. He spent a few years in the Alaska fisheries. When he returned his problems had all been arrested or had turned up missing. Further novel-worthy events ultimately led to his gaining meaningful employment in a Redmond, WA based computer hardware firm (he has no high school diploma–he dropped out before he finished 9th grade) assessing the competition’s products, crashing them and then making suggestions for his own firm to produce superior components.
Last example: A few months following a horrible motorcycle accident which resulted in a shattered but under-repair left leg (hit a parked car with his left knee at about 30mph) he and I were drinkng at a tavern. He’s had a few so I’m keeping my eye on him (not to defend him, I’m making sure I have an egress route!). Sure enough, in what can only be described as an exchange of facial expressions matched only by babbons in a National Geographic special, a largish guy (he and I are both under 5’ 7") approaches “Wesley” who is leaning against a barstool. He can’t sit down because his got 30 pounds of fiberglas cast from his toes to his ass. Gorilla man gets right in his face. “Wesley” smirks through hjis moustache at him, and mutters something to him about being a big man who is willing to pick on a cripple with a Hickman catheter (for the antibiotics required for a bone infection). “Wesley” opens his shirt to show the tube which runs directly into his aorta. Gorilla, probably a good man who is willing to let this event pass, shrugs his shoulders as if to say “whatever” and turns to go about his business. I’m heading to the door at this point. "Wesley taps him on the shoulder and as he turns around, stubs his cigarette out on the guy’s throat! Just as he’s regaining his senses, “Wesley” smashes him upside the head with his cane and hobbls into the truck–and we leave. I feel some guilt about it all for aiding and abeting, but at the time I was more interested in ending the episode and avoiding a little wrath myself.
“Wesley’s” ONLY motivation is the “red line.” He is blind to nearly everything else, but he’s also not stupid. He knows how to avoid incarceration and will do so at any cost.
Ever seen Trainspotting? Begby is a pretty close example. Adored by strangers, and feared and served by those who know him.
In case I was unclear about this. By “victory” I don’t mean “winning” a game, election or argument. He couldn’t care less about interpersonal competition. A victory to him is a successful attempt to overpower, dominat or otherwise control another person without having to suffer consequences. It is the search for such victories over himself which leads to his penchant for exuberant pursuit of dangerous hobbies (skydiving, scuba diving, motorcycles, etc).
Well, I truly believe that my friend’s husband will end up killing her sooner or later, but I don’t know if he actually qualifies as a psychopath. He’s a hard-core drug-addict and very reclusive, suffered from severe, prolonged sexual abuse as a child, he’s the most paranoid person I’ve ever met, he’s aggressive and unpredictable, and he threatens all the people his wife knows, including her co-workers and family. Does that count?
Oh God Inigo Montoya! All that you said (with the exception of any violence – that I know of) sounds just like my ex. However, I didn’t see one bit of it until we split up. And I had wanted to marry the man!! :smack: I knew he’d been a pathological liar, but he supposedly cleaned up his act for me. Ha. Right. Then I find out later that he has absolutely NO conscience, no qualms about doing ANYTHING and totally lacks desire for more than appearances that he’s a good person. His only motivation EVER is himself and what he can get/needs.
::: shudder :::
Lastly, like Ghanima mentioned, he’s so unbelievable paranoid, it’s frightening. He must own several tinfoil hats. And the sad part is that, like others here, I would have done anything to accommodate him because I believed all the bullshit he spouted (yeah, he was at the top of his game in that – if it were an Olympic event, he’d bring home the gold) and the way he twisted everything to his advantage. With you ending up feeling sorry, obligated and necessary to help him. Eek! I’m so glad that ended. It would have been like being with Charles Manson. Oh the horror.
His horrific ‘attributes’ I could list forever, but I feel the gist has been covered. Needless to say, I now (for the first time in my life) completely hate someone with a passion. I may be inclined to cut him a bit of slack for his terrible upbringing, but he’ll always be in denial or refuse to change. He enjoys how things are.
::: shudder again :::
So, I’m thinking that qualifies as a sociopath. What sayeth y’all?
My father was one.
The only motivation for him was power. He wanted more. He did not have a conscience. He did whatever he felt would get him what he wanted. Example:
If I wanted to go to the movies and he did not want me to go he would say: Oh, you can go if you really have to." but he would say it in the tone of voice that I knew meant “and you will pay dearly for it later.” Now if I still looked like I was planning for a trip to the movies he would pout a bit. Sometimes even cry. “You are abandoning me.” If this did not work then he would pout some more but add lots of door slamming and item throwing. Should this not work he would simply scream until you snapped or he’d slap you around until you acquiesced.
People who knew his ‘public’ persona thought he was a great guy and that I was a lucky kid.
Those of us who lived in his hell knew differently. He also made it very clear he had you under surveillance. I’m honestly shocked he let me go when he did - He always explained to me that I was his property until the day I married (at which point I would become my husband’s property.) I fear it is because he has a new victim but no one ever believed me when I tried to warn them away from him.
Incredible post tanookie. It makes me feel like maybe I am an okay dad.