I was looking at available Kindle books from the library and ran across Joan Didion’s memoir The Year of Magical Thinking, about the year of her life after the death of her husband and her daughter’s coma.
It’s the sort of book that always would have hurt like crazy to read, I think, but after being widowed myself (almost four years ago now. Wow), stuff like this is just incredibly painful.
But I’m tempted, even though I tend to avoid desperately sad movies and books.
Do you read things or watch things knowing they are going to be like a punch to the gut, or do you tend to avoid them?
Often I avoid but if my mood is right (or wrong) I might read a book. Probably not watch a movie. (I can always put the book down.)
As for that Didion book, it’s really not as sad as you might think but as you are someone who’s been widowed the beginning of it might be a little too vivid for you. On the whole though I am glad I read that one.
The closest I’ve come was reading Game Of Thrones after watching the first season of the HBO series. Now, as context, my daughter was born just a week or two before that series aired, and the whole (whisper whisper spoiler know what I mean?) just tore hormonal-me apart. I actually started to read the book and couldn’t do it, put it away for a couple of months, then returned.
And I’m glad I did. Once you accept that GRRM is gonna be a bastard, the books are a lot of fun.
But no, not excruciating personal memoirs, and I’ll never read Jude The Obscure again.
I can’t speak for my spouse who watches this stuff, but isn’t that the definition of LifeTime TV -style offerings? Dramas that make you hurt like heck emotionally?
Yes, since I had children in particular, it’s like I’m testing myself, almost rehearsing my reactions. However, I do avoid things sometimes - there was one episode of Six Feet Under that I still haven’t watched because I found out the death-of-the-week was cot death, and our second child was very small at the time we were watching the series.
At the moment, I’m very raw over losing my mother in February, so I’m very wary of a lot of emotional stories. That will pass and I’ll go back to stuff even though I expect it to hurt, but I have no perspective over it at all right now. On the other hand, the day my dad died, my mum and I came home from the hospital at a loss as to our next action, and for some reason sat down to watch Father of the Bride. Struck me as an interesting choice even then, but even though we knew it would be a bit difficult it was bizarrely comforting.
I’m about halfway through The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake right now, and I’m not sure I’ll actually finish it. I was expecting a little chick lit but got something completely different and by the time I’d figured that out I was already in it. In general I try to avoid deep sadness as a form of entertainment.
Not any more. I used to read depressing books and watch depressing movies. Then one day I smacked myself in the head and said “Stop doing that you moron!”. So I did.
I won’t watch the newer Battlestar Galactica. Not because of the ending, like most people on the site, but because of how depressing the first episodes seemed to be, and people telling me it doesn’t let up.
Though, in some cases, I find that merely knowing that something will affect me badly is enough to allow me to read or watch it. But that’s more mundane things like knowing a book has a depressing ending.