You are my hero.
Here I would say most people are with it enough to get deadpan sarcasm, which is my preferred style (it’s text so everything is deadpan anyway).
In reality, deadpan sarcasm goes over people’s heads much of the time, especially if they don’t already know that’s your style. Sometimes it doesn’t even register with me right away - most people are fairly serious, and when someone’s tone sounds serious, you just assume they are acting normal until the bogus nature of their statement finally registers.
Sorry, here’s my example (just thought of it and the editing window on my post expired).
There’s a video store around here with the words “Freeze, Gopher!” printed on the emergency exit door. It’s a Caddyshack quote I think. Anyway once when I was in the store I objected to the clerk, in a very serious tone, that I took offense at the phrase, because I am most certainly not a gopher. At first he looked really nervous. Showing mercy I quickly let on that I was joking, at which point he told me that he had a previous customer who actually was offended by the phrase, and assumed I was serious as well.
One time I quoted Homer Simpson in an email by saying “Your ideas intrigue me and I’d like to subscribe to your newsletter.”
The girl to whom I wrote this didn’t recognize the quote and literally started writing a newsletter. Really. It lasted for probably three or four YEARS and ended up being sent out to a list of 50+ people.
Uh, yeah.
Most people that don´t know me think I´m being an ass-hole when In reality I´m being sarcastic, once they get to know me, they love me 
Oh, all the time. I have a very serious voice and demeanor, and people assume I’m always serious in what I say. The only one I can think of off hand is an incident from last week. My best friend, K, and I go to the same college; there’s one very funny and cool male teacher that we always like to hang around and talk with.
So we go over to his office and talk for a while; then there’s a slight lull in the conversation. All of a sudden I pipe up with “So, I’m thinking of adopting you as my father.” I just wanted to say something weird/funny to see what his reaction would be. He plays along and we banter back and forth for a bit, before he says I’m probably too old to be adopted.
Afterwards, while we’re walking to our respective classes, K gives me a horrified look and asks me why I said I wanted to be adopted and that it was so awkward and pathetic, etc. I said that I was quite obviously joking because I knew he wouldn’t take it seriously. She spends the next few days berating me, saying it made me seem really sad and to tell him that I was joking. Did she actually think I was serious?
I’m with Lissener. Even at my wittiest, I expect to be flooded with angry denouncements.
My story is from my dad. Long ago, he managed to put a pitchfork through my mom’s foot in a horrible stall mucking accident. For ever after, the phrase “she knows better than to backsass” has been a source of laughter for the whole family because we know what he is referring to and we know that mom speaks her mind. A few folks that have overheard have been offended enough to leap to her defense.
Not me, but Quasimodem sure got misunderstood in this thread. Check out posts 41, 42 and 43. Wow.
Last Saturday, I was running my D&D game, and went to the corner to rummage through my D&D bookcase for something. A bunch of dice and plastic miniatures fell to the floor and somebody said, “omg, what was that?” and I said, “just a bunch of expensive, fragile glass things.”
Dead silence behind me while I continue rummaging.
“I’m kidding,” I say.
They had all totally believed me…
When I was engaged, the song “Won’t Last A Day Without You” by the Carpenters came on the radio. I hate that song. I figured my fiance would just know that even if I never told him, so I joked that we should have our first dance to it. He appeared so open to it that, guess what, we did. I didn’t want him to feel like a fool so I went along with it.
Thank goodness it wasn’t “Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft” that we happened to hear that day.
Now that’s precious.
When I was in college I was working at a pizza place in Albuquerque. A customer came in to order and had a few questions, during which the following conversation ensued:
Customer: “How many slices are in a large pie?”
Me: “Eight, sir.”
Customer: “Oh, we can’t eat that much.”
Me: “Well, I’ll cut it into 6 for you.”
Customer: “Sounds good.”
Then there was the time I was working at a video store and a customer came up to the counter with the movie “JFK” in hand. Trying to be funny, I say to her, “You know he dies in the end, don’t you?” She wasn’t happy.
When I worked at a restaurant a few years back, we had a ditsy blond server who we liked to play practical jokes on.
Anyways, let us first think back to this scene from Dumb and Dumber:
In a diner
Lloyd: Excuse me, Flo? What’s the soup du jour?
Flo: It’s the soup of the day.
Lloyd: Mmm. That sounds good. I’ll have that.
Well, this server asked us what the soup of the day was, and we all told her it was the soup du jour. We all watched her go up to her table for this exchange:
Guest: So, did you find out what you’re serving for the soup of the day?
Ditsy Blond: Hi ma’am. I just checked in the back, and our soup today is “du jour soup.”
Guest: Hmm?
I also must add this girl also thought egg plant was an actual egg that grew naturally in the ground, and that there existed a creature known as the “quad quacker,” which was a four-headed duck (a co-worker edited a Wikipedia page, Photoshopped an image, printed it out and showed it to her as proof).
Oh my yes. Years ago, my boyfriend was shaving in the bathroom when I heard a yelp. (I was in the next room reading.) When I asked what was wrong, he said he’d cut his lip. I said, “Put some rubbing alcohol on it”, and went back to reading. Next thing I knew, there was a lot more yelping coming out of the bathroom…
Holy cow! :eek:
Are any of Barn Owl’s friends PMing him about this or anything?
-FrL-
Jesus Christ! WTF? It felt like watching someone losing his mind! I was sure that there was something I just wasn’t getting. I felt so bad for Quasimodem. That was effing brutal! Did anyone ever figure out what happened? Or is it The Thing That Must Not Be Brought Up?
Jesus, poor Quasimodem. I thought that one was very obviously a joke.
I make many off-color remarks just for the shock and giggle effect it has on folks. (I look like a soccer mom, I think) I recently discovered that some of my frequent contacts think I’m pretty kinky now. I can’t think of a specific this moment because I’m still boggling for poor Quasi.
Last night I posted a crude but obvious joke about the acronym for the new Chicago boards and one poster fell over clutching her pearls and a moderator slapped my wrist and told me to take it to the pit.
Wow. I’m unimpressed with BarnOwl. Unimpressed indeed.
To address the OP, I learned recently not to make pedophile jokes in a room full of strangers. That was excruciatingly awful - I thought it was funny, and my usual group of friends would have. These people certainly didn’t.
More importantly, how did it get from his pants to under the cushions? :eek::smack: