Ever see someone doing something so stupid you wanted to walk over and shake them?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I know I have.

One of my favorite examples of this is the time I was hanging out in Toronto, and visited the CN Tower. This is a great big needle shaped tower/antenna that is the tallest of its kind. On the first floor they have one of those photo machines that puts your discolored face on a cheesy background. These things are magnets for stupid people anyway, but oh man.

There were two people sitting inside the booth, in front of them a screen, that instead of the normal photo examples had letters (large enough to be readable from 30 feet away) reading “OUT OF FILM- ASK MANAGER TO RELOAD”. These two people were asking each other loudly in southern accents why the machine wasn’t working, and slapping the buttons randomly. That’ll work, retard.

I wanted to go up to these people and request that they hurl themselves from the top of the building so that they would be sure to die without harming anyone else in the process.

Surely someone else has had an experience like this.

MarxBoy

2

I suppose mine might be a bit depressing, but here goes anyway.

When we were in lovely Worcester, MA our neighbor had a beautiful lab she had owned for years. Worcester is not exactly America’s rural breadbasket. It is a gritty, busy and rundown industrial city. We just happened to live in the busiest and most rundown area of the city. She, however did not believe in leashes for her dog. The animal would run around all day as he pleased. As we were chatting outside one morning the dog bolted after a squirrel. In the single most horrifying image I have ever seen the dog collided with and was eviscerated by a two ton garbage truck.

A month later she brought home a cocker spaniel puppy. I begged her to use a leash, but she thought it was cruel to restrict the animal’s freedom.

The dog lived four months to the day, same result. Damn, that still pisses me off.

3

Yeah, one of the moms at the daycare we use occasionally drives her infant daughter over by just holding her against her chest. You know, between her and the steering wheel. It’s only half a block, but still, you never know when a kid or dog could dart out and make you slam on the brakes…

Also, I keep seeing new moms in Target thinking about saving money by buying those less-expensive (but completely useless) breast pumps made by gerber or evenflo. That makes me want to freak out, but mostly I have trouble supressing my urge to drive to the company HQ and pimp slap the jerk who won’t pull these things off the market. Talk about sabotaging nursing.

4

OK, here’s an act of stupidity or ignorance that I witness regularly (and which involves photography to tie in with the OP example, as well).

Ever seen a bunch of tourists standing at a lookout at night (or perhaps just on sundown), viewing some far off landmark or building in the gloom, taking photos, which they think are going to come out BECAUSE THEY HAVE THE FLASH ON?

OK, OK, I’m a keen amateur photographer myself so perhaps this particular stupidity annoys me more than most, but I feel like saying to these people, “Gee, where did you get that camera, maam? So the flash can light up the entire Grand Canyon at a range of 10 miles can it? What powers that thing? Is it thermonuclear, or what? Must’ve been expensive.”

5

On the flash thing, the guide at Mount Rushmore when I visited explained that carefully and presented a philosophy I really enjoy. Postcards are 30 cents each and have better photography than you will get with your disposable. They are also on cardstock and a bit sturdier.

Ahh…stupid people…so many stories…

The day I became a rebel. I’ve always been an outspoken brat, but one incident cemented my rebelious nature. I was pretty little, 2nd-3rd grade, and was waiting in line for some thing, chatting with this lady. I mentioned something about wanting to live in Alaska (it was a life’s goal at the time). She told me that Alaska wasn’t a state. I blinked and said that yes, yes it was, actually part of the US. Debate ensued. She eventually said, “Well, you should respect your elders!” And then I got the lightning bolt that respect is earned. I think I said something along the lines of “Why should I respect that you have managed not to get hit by a bus for longer than I have? You got a head start and have done less with it.”

For the record, it didn’t help my case. But shaking the crap out of her probably wouldn’t have helped much either.

6

I once saw a man in a line at the drive-through at a fast food place who was holding his granddaughter on his lap as he drove. She looked to be about three years old. I couldn’t resist interfering, so I went over and asked him nicely to please put her in the back seat with a seat belt on, since it’s very dangerous for a child to ride like that. He then put his seat belt on across himself and the child, as if that would help matters. I explained to him that if they were in even a minor accident, he would crush her to death against the seatbelt or the steering wheel. He said, “But she gets upset if she can’t sit in my lap!”

I finally persuaded him to put her in her own seat with a seat belt on. He placed her in the passenger seat, reclined it all the way for no apparent reason, and put the (much too large) lap-and-shoulder belt over her. The line moved and he escaped before I could negotiate her into the back seat. I’ll bet his son or daughter would have had a stroke if they’d seen what he was doing. At least I hope so.

7

I’ve seen lots of stupid people, as I’m sure we all have from time to time, but CrankyAsAnOldMan’s and InternetLegend’s posts remind me of sheer stupidity I witness regularly along a stretch of highway near here, although I’m fairly certain it happens elsewhere, too.

Highway 7 is a two-lane roadway that’s part of the TransCanada Highway. It’s fairly busy most days of the week, and has a bit of a reputation of being a “killer highway.” It seems that everytime I’m on the 7, I’ll come up on a vehicle with no less than five small children in the backseat, on the loose and running wild, jumping up in the windows, crawling over each other and onto the rear deck (that ledge under the rear window inside), and generally having “fun.” No seatbelts, no child seats, nothing.

I just want to shake a clue into these parents…

8

Many years ago on Mount Shasta in northern CA, my group returned to a climbers hut near the timberline. We’d turned back because of 60mph winds (90mph near the summit) and snow. We noticed a group we’d seen the day before, and they were all huddling around one woman wrapped in a blanket. Turned out the group aborted their summit try (before the winds kicked up) because they’d seen a body in a do-not-enter-this-is-rockfall-city area called “The Heart.” They found this woman at about 12,000ft wearing street clothes and deck sneakers, hunkered down and fast on her way to dying. They hustled her down to the hut, got her out of her wet clothes and filled her with soup and hot chocolate.

Turned out she was from Berkeley, CA, and on a total whim thought it would be (her words) “cool to commune with the mountain.” She hopped in her car as she was dressed, drove the five or six hours to Shasta, slept in the car that night and in the morning just started walking up. Up, up, up, with no idea of what routes were safe and which weren’t, until she couldn’t go any further and couldn’t get back down.

We sat on the stone bench with her. One of my friends asked if she understood what that group had given up to save her. She shrugged. “At least I got to commune with the mountain. It was beautiful.” She then noticed the crampons strapped to my heavy boots. She asked what they were, and I explained their purpose. “Do they make them for sneakers?” she asked. I explained that if one needs crampons, one had damned well better have better footgear than sneakers. I underlined that by pointing out our parkas, ropes and ice axes. She stared at me as if I were the most pitiful idiot on the planet. “Well, do they make crampons for sneakers?”

I spent the next few seconds picking up my jaw. “Somebody’s gonna risk their ass pulling your corpse off this mountain someday soon, aren’t they?” She simply asked if we had more hot cocoa.

Shake her? I wanted to smack her head against the stone wall of the hut. Probably would’ve busted the rock, though, and it ain’t polite to abuse the climbers hut.

Another time, I was camping by myself at the treeline on Shasta one very cold Spring night. In the middle of the night I was awakened by a solo climber who’d tried the mountain in one shot, with no sleeping bag, tent or stove. It was now past 1am. He was just carrying a little food and water, and he was cold. I offered to let him sit in the tent. “No,” he said, “I’m real cold. Can I warm up in your sleeping bag?”

What the fuck?!? “Sorry, man, I’m already in it.”

“Well, can you get out of it so I can get in? I’m freezing just standing here!”

If I’d had a gun I’d have used it. “Listen, asshole, if you keep walking you’ll stay warm and then you’ll reach your car and you can get a room in town.”

After a minute or two of pissing and moaning, he left. He presumably lived.

9

I live in Prague- I can relate to this SSSOOOOO much! Um, HELLO!!! Tourons (tourist mated with a moron)…

Hi OrcaChow (great name btw)- Yep, never underestimate the power of human stupidity when it comes to the outdoors. My brother has helped not one, but two people out of the wilderness on and around Mt. Rainier…No equipment, none, just a cellphone and a GPS- with no map. Ummm…ex-squeeze-me? Rich Seattle boys with new toys…

What about water? I’ve had to re-hydrate probably 5 people solely because they didn’t bring a water bottle on long hikes…stupid igits. “I only planned to be out about 3 hours…” yeah dipshit- 3 hours in 95 degree weather, exercising!

But, I guess that isn’t as bad as going on an Outward Bound course with some city-slicker who asked if he could get a drink off of my canteen. Sure, no problem, (Tomcat is busy digging something out of his pack). Turning around from my pack I nearly have to tackle the guy- he’s drinking my stove fuel! He grabbed the big, shiny, red metal bottle, not the clear, ugly, plastic one! Two gulps, not bad, lots of powdered milk…

Better stop now…

-Tcat

10

Keeping with the photography theme here. I was making the two hour long drive from my college town to my home town the other day and two old fartknockers were parked in the middle of U.S. 95 (a two lane highway) taking a picture of an elk that was standing about 300 yards away in a field. If I had a gun at the time I probably would have shot them.

11

How about the people that visit Yellowstone Park that feed the bears right in front of the signs warning them NOT to feed the bears. I’ve been there twice and seen this exact situation both times. Now think about this… Would you want to be around a WILD bear that is HUNGRY and searching for food? If you’ve ever seen a bear on a rampage like I have, the answer is no.

On a related note, this reminds me of Bill Engvall’s comedy routine. He just hates stupid people and thinks they all should wear a sign saying, “I’m stupid”. That way you could warn them before they go and kill themselves.

He once saw a guy who had been driving his car for an hour stop the car, get out, and grab the tail pipe. The guy shouted, “Ouch! Man that’s hot!”. See? If that guy had a sign, Bill could have warned him.

“Here’s your sign!”

12

Maryland in August. High noon. 98 degrees, 95% humidity, the kind of weather where you break a sweat just by going outside at 8:00 am. Freaking HOT, people.

Hubby, kids and I were at McD’s for lunch. We had just come back outside, had the car doors open and the AC on to cool off the blast furnace the the car had become before we got in.
A car pulls in opposite us, and a middle-aged couple gets out, followed by a young (15 or 16 years old) girl, with a baby. She says, “I think she’s wet” and proceeds to lay the baby down ON THE HOOD OF THE CAR!!! Baby starts to scream, blood-curding screaming, and I actually started over there, when the woman scooped her up and started in on the young girl. They went into the restaurant before I could say anything, but I did see that the baby’s legs were red. I still think about her, and hope she was (and still is) okay.

I always see young kids not in carseats. What is wrong with people?

13

Two incidents. One ancient, one fresh.

First nominee, a pal of mine at Frostburg State University, Mike. Mike’s car had decided not to start one fine day in the parking lot near Gray Hall. So he needs a jump and I’m sidewalk supervising (as is my general level of helpfulness).

I smell gas as we approach Mike’s wheels and look down and he’s standing in a puddle of gasoline. When I look up he’s striking sparks off the heads of the jumper cables. I scream and head for a ditch. Mike just says, “What?” in that sarcastic tone of voice to which he’s prone.

No fatalities but I couldn’t tell you why…

Second nominee, so fresh I should charge you for it.

ME. Last night, during the worst lightning storm I’ve ever seen in our little happy valley and there I am, out on our metal roof, trying desperately to get that damn tarp over the hole in the roof again as the high winds have dislodged it. Lightning striking all over the damn place and there I am…waving my ‘fry me’ sign around.

Proof that, even if God does have a sense of humor, some jokes are just too obvious, even for him.

14

Central Florida
Interstate 4 between Orlando and Lakeland
Average speed - 70 mph (we paced her to see what was happening)

Woman is breast-feeding a baby while she is driving.
*FHP (cell phone for FL Highway Patrol) is on our speed-dial now.
And yes, they pulled her over.

15

Good job Screech, you did the right thing. My mom used to work with someone who drove 90 miles each way to get to work. She would occupy her time by knitting (!) as she drove down the highway. She would grip the bottom of the steering wheel on her knees and steer that way :shakes head:

Keith

16

This isn’t quite as mind-bogglingly dumb as y’all have posted, but…

I used to work with a woman in her mid-thirties who was notoriously flaky. Nice girl, but about as sharp as a sack of wet mice. One day I ran into her trying to clear a jam in the paper shredder. While it was still plugged in. With a metal letter opener. Her method of choice was repeatedly stabbing the shredding mechanism, then prying it apart.

Gundy: “M., what are you doing?”
M: “Oh, there’s a bunch of paper stuck in here.”
G: “Did you know it’s still plugged in? You might get a shock.”
M: (stab, stab) “Yes, it’s frightening.”
G: (sigh) “Here, let me unplug this for you.”
M: “Oh. Thanks.” (stab)

17

I’m not sure what the regulations are these days for abject idiocy in public lands, but dorks like that should be billed for every last detail related to their rescue. The hourly rate for a Huey rescue chopper would get their attention.

Never did any climbing on Rainier (my knees are shot), but in my younger days on Mt. Shasta, climbers filled out a form at the rangers’ station in town. On it, you noted not only your schedule, planned route and emergency contact numbers, but your experience and what equipment you’ve got.

If you didn’t fill out the form in the first place, they didn’t know you were up there and wouldn’t come looking. If they did get involved with a search-and-rescue of an unregistered party, it was billable.

If you finished your climb and didn’t close out the form afterwards, any ensuing search was billable.

18

One more “Idjits on Mt. Shasta” story:

One Spring trip, my girlfriend and I camped at a glacial terminus called “Lake Helen” (alt ~10,500ft). That night we had a big windstorm, up in the 80mph range. Scared the bejeezus out of my girlfriend, and beat up our tent a bit.

But the next morning we saw ours was the only one left standing (it was a Frostline kit). Several others were flattened but the people huddled inside and toughed it out. One group, though, was gone. According to people who’d spoken to them the day before, they didn’t think their dome tent needed to be pegged down. When the wind kicked up that night, for some reason unknown to any of us, the two people both got out of their tent.

It immediately took off into the night sky with their bags, packs, food, stove, and everything else still inside.

They hightailed it down the mountain in something of a screaming panic. Dumbshits.

19

I used to work in a gas station about 25 years ago, back in the days before self serve. Lots of cars of that era had the gas filler nozzle behind the rear license plate, way down low. I still remember the idiot that drove up while my partner and I were busy. This idiot decides he can do this as well as any pump jockey, so he grabs a nozzle, bends down, folds the license plate out of the way, and peers down in the filler pipe.

With a lit cigar in his mouth.

God must like idiots - he made so many of them.

20

I head for the express lane (12 items or less) with my milk and bread, only to find some math illiterate with a cart full of things in her basket loading things onto the conveyer belt. Assuming she had just not seen it, I point out the sign listing the item limit, and she tells me, in a voice and manner that make it clear that this has happened to her many times before, and she is tired of suffering the indiginity of explaining the obvious to some idiot (such as me) that, “There are only 10 different items here.”

I point out that there are obviously 60 or 70 things in her basket. She smugly tells me that the 10 cans of tomato soup she is loading are one item, as are the three gallons of milk. After she has her order rung up and is out of earshot, the cashier tells me that she comes in every week and does the same thing. She has even split her order up into two seperate baskets and had the cashier ring them up separately to get under the 12 item limit. Apparently the manager has talked to her in the past, and she actually beleives that ten of the same thing are actually just one thing, and has threatened to sue the store if she is prohibited from using the express lane with two carts full of food. The store has given up and just goes along with her delusion.

HIJACK

Why do stores insist on putting up signs at there express lanes that say “X items or less” despite the obvious grammatical error? Target is the only store I’ve seen with a sign that has the correct “X items or fewer”.

End HIJACK

By the way, on many of the less expensive cameras, the flash functions automatically. It may be possible that the people taking flash pictures in inappropriate settings cannot turn the flash off.