Ever toss somebody out of your home? Tell us about it!

In My Humble Opinion
21

Yes, my dumb ass younger sister who was pissed that I found an apartment better than hers. She came to see me one day and started speaking very loudly about how horrible I was, a drug user living on welfare, child molester, etc. None true, and my landlord who had known me for three years prior to my renting, knew it wasn’t true. I told her to STFU and leave my place. When she continued, I physically grabbed her and started shoving her. She punched me in the face, giving me a major nose bleed. My landlord came over at that point, let himself in, and asked me what was going on. My sister said something about an accident, I told my landlord I wanted her out, and he told her to leave or he’d call the cops.

She left, and told all the relatives my landlord had punched her out.

22

A solicitor.

When I lived in Indianapolis, my house was under contract to Orkin for termite treatment. They had this annoying habit of calling in late January or early February to schedule a “termite inspection”, which was a thinly disguised excuse to get into your attic and give you a hard sell on more insulation.

They did that to me one year, and when they were done, I called up the district manager and gave him a blistering earful about coming into my house under false pretexts. Neither of us made a friend that day.

So, when they called again the next year to schedule their inpection, I was ready. I said they could inspect for termites to their heart’s content, but if I heard the slightest peep of a sales pitch, I was calling the sheriff and having them arrested for tresspass.

Sure enough, the “inspector” went into the attic, thumped around for about 5 minutes, came down, and announced that I didn’t have enough insulation.

“You sons of bitches pulled that on me last year, and I raised hell. When you were scheduled for this year, I warned the secretary that I wouldn’t let this happen again. You see this phone (holding up a wireless)? I have 911 punched in already, and all I have to do is hit send, and I’’ have the sheriff here to haul your ass away for tresspassing. You have 15 seconds to get out the door.”

Leave, he did. The same district manager from the year before called back later that day to dress me down for threatening his employee for doing his job, but lost that argument with me, too.

They didn’t try the insulation sales ploy with me ever again. I won’t do business with Orkin again if they were the last exterminators in the country.

23

And there is this classic post about getting rid of Jehovah’s Witnesses by Master Wang-Ka

24

How bizarre! I’ve got Terminix and have never, EVER had them try to upsell me on anything.

25

They probably don’t have an insulation subsidiary/sister company.

26

Orkin is not Terminex, & each local joint may be franchised/run differently.

27

The last two apartments I lived, the previous tenants were deadbeats, and process servers showed up looking for them. The first time, my wife answered the door, and had an interesting conversation where she had to show them ID to prove she wasn’t the deadbeat in question. I told her that it’s not her responsibility to disprove the misidentification, it’s their responsibility to prove she WAS the the deadbeat, but that’s a tangent.

At the last place, a process server came knocking, and I was slow answering the door because I just had major abdonimal surgery. I found the subpoena stuck in the door. Wrong guy named, so I called the service company and said they needed to pick up their papers, because I wasn’t the person named.

“You need to pick this up, because your guy left it for the former tenant.”

“No we don’t. If you’re calling from that address, we have the right person.”

“Did you ever think that you could stop by the rental office first to confirm the person you want still lives here?”

“That’s not our responsibility. We served the right person.”

“Hardly. Your server taped it to the door. He didn’t deliver it to the served persons hand.”

“We served the right person.”

“No you didn’t. Come pick it up. I could just put in the trash, because it’s not my problem.”

“That will get you a contempt citation. Put in in an envelope and send it back to us.”

“No. I don’t care if it is only 37 cents and the cost of an envelope, I’m not spending my time and money to fix your fuckup.”

it went downhil from there. Ultimately, I took it to the nearest branch of the bank that was suing the guy, dropped it on the manager’s desk, told him this was improperly served and now it was his problem, and walked out.

28

Thanks for linking to that. I hadn’t read it in a while and I had forgotten how freaking hysterical it is.

29

I remember that one. How I miss Wang-Ka.

30

Heh, if anybody got a contempt citation, it’d be the process server. I had a roomate who almost got a contempt citation in federal court for doing the same sort of nonsense.

31

You could buy his book and read his stories anytime.

32

Skald, kudos on your story.

Mine didn’t happen to me, but to some relatives (trying to be vague here!) several years ago, I’ll call them Mr. and Mrs. X. At the time, Mrs. X’s younger brother was in college and decided to come visit his sister for a weekend. Unfortunately, Mr. X was an overbearing jerk-- they’ve since divorced.

Mrs. X’s brother was scheduled to arrive on Saturday morning; he had intended to spend the night at a motel along the way. But instead, he felt up to driving through the night, and arrived late Friday night.

Now, I can understand Mr. X feeling a bit peeved if a guest arrived unannounced earlier than expected. But it was only a few hours early, and this was his wife’s brother who she was quite close to. But since Mr. X was an a-hole on a power trip, he refused to let the brother enter his home until the scheduled arrival time the next morning. He made him sleep in the car out in the driveway.

Mr. X wouldn’t even greet his brother-in-law, so Mrs. X had to go outside and explain to him why he couldn’t come in the house yet. She was completely mortified, and to this day will get close to tears if the story comes up.

33

I agree, the guy was a jerk, but your story concerned me. Is it actually a lien on the property? If your title company didn’t find it and take care of it before you bought the house, you may be responsible for it.

34

That depends on the state, but it is definitely worth checking into just to be safe.

35

Yup. In college, I lived in a house with a bunch of other guys. We threw fairly regular parties. Now at these parties we’d get all kinds of people. Most of them were cool, but there were a few bad apples.

One of them was a self-proclaimed anarchist punk. Going on and on about the evil that is government, particularly the police. They were evil jackbooted fascists, blah, blah, blah… And he made a point of saying that the police were never to be trusted, etc. Annoying, but as long as he behaved, we let him be.

One night though, he started crap with another partygoer, a really nice, laid-back guy from Texas. I don’t know what got into Mr. Punko-Anarchist, but he decided to take a swing at Tex. The denizens of the house grabbed Punko and escorted him out. No violence, but he was shown the door and told never to come back.

Ten minutes later, the police show up at our door. Apparently Punko had immediately run to them, wailing that we had beat him up. :rolleyes:
We explained what had happened, and the cops let it go. (They knew that we weren’t troublemakers.)

We also made sure that everyone in his social circle knew what happened. I don’t know if he has lived it down yet, and this was at least 12 years ago.

36

I should Pit your ass for giving that wench a perfectly good, tasty lemon meringue pie. She didn’t deserve that pie. You should’ve slapped some mayo on two slices of bread and given THAT to her for dinner.

I love lemon meringue pie.

E.

37

We used to rent a house that belonged to the mother of the husband of a good friend/bartender of ours. The people who lived there before had had to leave under, er, suspicious circumstances so the house sat for awhile before our friends even knew they were gone - maybe a couple weeks.

Anyway, it seems that the people who used to live there were running an illegal transmission shop slash garage kinda deal so we were having people drop in day and night who hadn’t known those folks were gone. They’d refuse to believe us that the other people had left, and it got to the point where Mr2U wouldn’t leave me or my son alone in the house, and was always in attendance outside when Kid2U got on or off the school bus.

Finally, they stopped knocking, but we’d still find cars that didn’t belong there driving through the driveway and these same people “hanging out” (the house across the driveway was empty as well). Finally, he’d had enough - he walked back to the back of the driveway and caught a couple people in a car snorting coke, and could smell pot all over the place. These people had been warned - over and over - to stay the hell off our property. He went back to the house, called the cops, and sure enough - we had a veritable swat team in our driveway. Turns out the back yard of the house next to us which butted up against a small grove of trees that had been so overgrown with weeds? It WAS weed. Tons of plants! I believe it made the paper. Oh - and no, we were never bothered again.

38

All-righty then.

I’d teleport you a slice, but you clearly need to get your blood sugar down a little.

39

No, he wanted to put a lien on the house, if the previous property owners didn’t give him the money he wanted. Obviously not possible since they no longer owned the house. We sold it about 8 months ago, no problems in either the purchase or sale.

40

well, not my house, but a friends house. We had gone to a wine festival and to the friends house afterwards for further partying. While we were there, our hosts had run into the brother of an old friend of theirs and had invited him and his wife back to the house. Well, this guy turned out to be a real piece of work. He got very drunk, and started calling his wife some real foul names. She just sat there, and we told the guy to shut up. Then he started running his mouth about how society was so unfair, how he didn’t really deserve the 3 DWIs he’d gotten, etc, etc… . Most folks were drifting in and out of the house, and I’d gone in to relieve myself, leaving sleazo out there with my friend’s wife. I came back outside to see sleazo groping my friends wife. I immediately shoved the guy away, back into his chair and checked on my friends wife. She was pretty shook up, and ran inside. This was the last straw, “friend” of the host or not. I got in his face and suggested that it was time for him to leave. NOW. Before something really, really bad happened to him. He rounded up his wife post haste, and left in a great hurry.