It’s been quite some time since they’ve ninja’d up onto my doorstop. On a rural route, we usually hear them driving up and hear the tell tale noise of the vintage minivan’s door sliding open. None of our friends have minivans. They wouldn’t be caught dead in a minivan. Everyone I know drives a truck. A real AMERIKUN TRUCK. Fuckin’ A Minivans are for soccer moms and pussy’s ©.
I work later on today and since my kids are older, they are left alone for about four hours of brainless TV/video game watching. (I’m the best mom evar.)
The ladies were dressed in the latest polyester circa 1975, one did all the talking the other watched the talking one’s every word ( I don’t know if she was deaf or just that pathetic in her door to door Godness stuff.) But she was 70, if she was a day old with a hairstyle straight out of Little House on the Prarie Bun on the top of the head. The Talker’s hair was DutchBoy in Senior Gray. They both had to be in their 70’s. I probably would have a lovely time chatting with them if they didn’t pull out the Religious Claptrap. Old people crack me up. They are either very with it, which surprises me or Tragically so far out of it they live in a bubble.
The Watchtower’s theme this installment is " Unemployment". The spiel is how it can cause stress. Well, no fucking shit. Really? Here in Michigan? The highest Unemployement rates in the nation? We’re stressed out here? Really? BUT the WATCHtower has helpful advice to get you through this stressful times? Job connections? A Magical PhD degree? Winning Lottery numbers ? I can’t wait!
Frankly, I don’t know about you, but my number one priority when a Jehovah shows up is To Get Rid Of Them.
I thought about stripping down while talking to them.
I thought about telling my daughter to “get mah Gun”
I thought about telling them I work for a much larger and financially Behemoth Christian Company…errrr…religion.
I thought about telling them I was an atheist.
I thought about throwing the cat at them.
But, my 10 year old daughter was right there listening and I don’t want to set a bad example on people who are doing what they think is right and essentially are harmless. Listen to them for 5 minutes, take the crap they are handing out and send them on their way. Trying to convince people like that they are deluded is a waste of breath.
I can teach her the fine art of sarcasm and stuff later on.
WatchTower’s make good firestarters. That’s the only good I’m going to get out of it.