Door to door missionaries are going to hell! Burn, burn! Ahh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Look, jerks. I believe in God, I accept Jesus as my savior, and I repent to them to forgive me of my sins. I have my own religion and my own church.

I also have signs on my door that says “No solicitors”, a “No Trespassing” sign on my gate, and a “Beware of Dog” sign on my fence. Yet you still rang my door bell 9 times [I AM NOT KIDDING FOLKS! 9 TIMES] at 9:00 a.m. Friday morning, my day off! On my day off I tend to sleep in all day, and walk around the house in my underware. [Hey, it’s my house, and my day off. Kiss my ass!] You woke me up with the “BING BING BING BING BING BING BING BING BING!” of my front door bell. Then you went around, through my back gate that has a LARGE sign warning about trespassing and the security camera, and you rang my back door 3 times! You finally went away…to my neighbors house. The poor sap was on his way to take his wife to work, and you slowed him down by your preaching. Walking backwards in front of him while he was trying to get to his truck. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? Jesus does not want you to do this! No matter what you think! He is going to personally throw you into the Lake of Fire for being an asshole in his name! We have our own religion. Leave us alone!

Welcome to The Pit. This week’s category is “Annoying Religious Folk”.

AFter all that you still didn’t open the door? I would have opened it just to throw something heavy at the head of the idiot ringing the bell. Some people are not deserving of basic courtesy.

I have found that a sign proclaiming you as a blood donor tends to keep the Jehovah’s Witnesses at bay.

In some states, you’re allowed to shoot at people who are tresspassing. Alas, I don’t think the people living in the apartment accross the hall would approve.

No, no. Answer the door in your underwear and say “Oh good, you made it! Put your clothes on the table there and I’ll be back in just a minute with the whip, the chihuahua, and the raspberry jam.”

Slap some red poster paint on the corners of your mouth, then open the door and compliment them on their ironic choice of costume for your satanist fancy dress party.

Ask them to come back in 20 mins, invite them in but put porno mags all over your room, especially on the seats. They have to pick it up in order to sit down.

That is, er, if you have any porn mags [nervous laugh]

I’m thinking that if you said nailing a porkchop to your door would keep Jewish solicitors at bay, it’d be the same sentiment. Would people find that offensive, or would they laugh their asses off? I can see it going either way. I haven’t heard any JW comics, so I don’t know JW humor like Jewish humor.

Now back to your regularly scheduled rant.

Please forgive them for their passion.


Being passionate about a subject does not excuse rudeness.
I know many people who are very passionate about certain ideas or things. If given a any sign of interest, they will be glad to try to enlighten the uninformed/ unconverted.

Ayesha is a good example. She would be willing to talk about the dangers of Hepatitus-C for as long as you are willing to listen. However, she also knows when she has made her point. She also does not get rude about it. She does not knock on doors and wake people on their day off. She does not delay people who need to get to work. She does not trespass. She does not ring the frony door and when she gets no answer go to the back door. (What morons!, If you aren’t going to answer the front door, why do they think you will answer the back?)

I know many “true” believers that are polite and courteous.

And finally, why should I tolerate behaviour in stragers that I wouldn’t from my friends?

Sorry, that should be “…strangers…”

“The greatest power of all is the power to forgive”

  • Oscar Schindler

Well, let’s see… Christian sects often believe that if you’re not a follower of the “true way” to live, then you won’t benefit from the afterlife as much as you could. So they try to bring as many people into the fold so that they’ll be as happy as possible in the next life.

Seems that you should be thanking them for being so concerned with your wellbeing, rather than being an asshole about it.

Thanking them?
I already have my own religion, which teaches that there are times when it’s all right to be angry. I don’t need anyone showing me the way that THEY want me to live.

Did you read my OP? I have signs on my door that say no soliciting, as well as No trespassing signs. They are very easy to see signs. My wife and I don’t want people here we didn’t invite! These people trespassed on my property, ignored my sign (which is posted right above the door bell) about soliciting, woke me out of a sound stupor, then went and bugged my neighbor while he was trying to get his wife to her job. You want me to thank these people? I didn’t answer the door in my underwear, I didn’t sic my dog on them, and I didn’t pull out any firearms. The most harm I did to them was my rant here! If my home weren’t so clearily posted with several signs that say, in effect, BUZZ OFF, I wouldn’t be so pissed. But it is, and I am!

I did. I particularly enjoyed this part:

He’s an “asshole” because he didn’t fall over himself to cater to the incredibly rude demands of an overly-zealous individual hell-bent on giving him a piece of information he did not want despite the several signs indicating that such activity was not appreciated at that particular residence?

I think you need to rethink the word “asshole”. While you’re at it, look up “imbecile” for yourself.

And a hearty “Fuck you, too”. I didn’t say anything of the sort, and you damn well know it. There is NOTHING in my post even slightly related to “falling over himself”, “catering”, or some-such. I said that, despite how annoying it may be, he can develop one fucking ounce of tolerance when it comes to other people’s religions.

Did these missionaries show little common sense? Yes they did. Should they simply have ignored a house that clearly doesn’t want uninvited guests? Most definitely. Could they have refrained from going to the back door of the house? Of course.

However, I DO NOT understand how those actions would mean that they are “going to hell”. And I do not understand the vehemence and animosity a supposed “christian” shows to his cousins of faith.

There’s a difference between nutcase Fundies carrying “God hates Fags” signs and a couple of overly-enthusiastic missionaries trying their darndest to follow their faith.

He did show tolerance. He didn’t open the door and throw a heavy fucking blunt object at the head of the offending idiot.

Could they (the harassers) have been nicer? Should they have read the sign? Shoulda, woulda, coulda. It doesn’t matter.

pkbites said

Maybe it is what he thinks will really happen. How is that any different than someone coming to my private residence, ignoring my requests for no trespassing and solicitation, repeatedly banging on my door in the early (for some) morning, essentially demanding that I hear their message so the very same fate pkbites alluded to doesn’t possibly happen to me? Based on personal experience, essentially, these people are threatening me with the same kind fate that pkbites was applying to them.

So in your opinion:

Telling someone they are going to hell for repeatedly harassing and annoying innocent individuals in their own homes who are practicing their own religion = bad and should be ashamed


Telling someone they are going to hell because although they may agree with the basic tenets of the Christian faith, they don’t happen to agree with a certain denomination on the details = acceptable and should be granted total acceptance?

I know that isn’t what you said but by insisting that we should be excessively tolerant of these door-knockers, you are condoning what they do.

I see these door-to-door proselytizers simply as another form of telemarketer. I’m sure you think you are offering something I can’t possibly live without but (a)I’ve managed to live without it so far and (b)If I ever find myself in need of your product, I know exactly where to go to get some. So don’t bother me at home. I didn’t invite you here and just like I don’t have to answer my phone, I sure as hell don’t have to answer my door.

Oh, that’s a hoot. And I suppose a KKK group can be considered “tolerant” if they only burn a family’s house down but let them live? Bullshit.

I believe that it’s ridiculous to respond to simple missionary work with “You’re going to hell!” The attitude in the OP is “overreacting”.

So they rang your doorbell! So what? So they went around back! So what? So they acted silly! So what? Perhaps you can say “Sorry, but we’re not interested” just to prevent this from happening again!

“Excessively” tolerant? How is “just let them go about their business without yelling and screaming about it” excessive? Seems perfectly damned reasonable to me.

And so do I. I immediately tell all Jehovah’s Witnesses that come to my door that I’m not interested. It’s a very simple concept. I DON’T try to anticipate what people are trying to do when they knock on my door, I DON’T assume what their intentions are, I DON’T stereotype people just because they’re holding a Bible, and I certainly DON’T shout “Go to hell!” just because my oh-so-holy sanctuary has been defiled.