Everyday SuperPowers

Oh, goody! A chance to brag about my superpowers!

My particular specialty is annoying my brother. I know about a hundred ways to do it, each one more diabolical than the next.

Some surefire techniques:

–Play Neil Diamond’s Crackling Rosie over and over.

–Ask him if he has a girlfriend yet.

–Talk to him before 11 o’clock in the morning.

Or, if I really want to get a good reaction, I do all three at once.

I have the innate ability to give pretty decent massages, an as Esprix knows, the sexual confidence to give them to guys as well as girls. But only pretty guys and girls.

I learned it from my mommy.

More importantly I have the ability to play my belly button like a drum. It is somewhat cavernous, my being slightly portly, and I can get a really rich sounding bass sound out of it, as well as a fairly decent tympani.

YOu’ll have to come to a Toronto dopers convention to see it though, I don’t have a mic.

“My drinking team has a Rugby problem.”
This sig line has been brought to you by the creative mind of Wally

If you need a graphic solution, http:\ alk.to\Piglet

I can cross my pinky toe over the toe next to it - the same way you’d cross your middle finger over your index finger - without touching my toes. Only on my left foot though - doesn’t work on the right one.

I am also more than pretty good at picking out where English-speaking foreigners are from, sometimes down to the area of the city. I am talking about people whose country’s language is English - not persons who are speaking English with a foreign accent. This doesn’t sound that impressive until you think about how many English or Irish or Australian accents there are (there’s no such thing as an “Irish” accent or an “English” accent - there are hundreds of them). For London or Dublin, I can usually pin down the neighborhood.

Oh, and I can yell really loudly.

I can…

No, that’s not a superpower.

Oh wait! I can do this…

No, that’s not one either.

Hey! I’ve gotten to over 1900 posts without anyone calling me a bad name! And I’ve met UncleBeer! Twice! Yeah!

Cristi, Slayer of Peeps

I made my husband join a bridge club. He jumps next Tuesday.

(title & sig courtesy of UncleBeer and WallyM7!)

I can rotate my eyeballs. Not for the faint of heart.

I do a pretty good job of mimicing various cartoon characters: Scooby Dum, Hank Hill, The bashful vulture from the old Loony Tunes cartoons, Yogi Bear.

I can crack both of my wrists by rotating them.

I can crack my right shoulder (only my right) by placing my right arm behind my back, then rotating my elbow forward.

I can place the palm of my hand over my eye socket and produce eye farts.

P.S. It’s not “Aqua-Man”, it’s Aquaman. He’s strong, has superior night vision, can survive on the surface of the moon, and has a cool hook on his hand. And he talks to fishes. Leave the poor guy alone!

You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.

What kind of superpower is that, ya hoser!

My superpower: I can defeat other people’s superpowers in a single post.

Oh Aaaaarnoooold…


:::Arnold’s butt falls to the ground, a smouldering chunk of useless flesh:::

Oops. Sorry. I forgot about my Nuclear Zap-O-Vision. Get some Bactine on that ass pretty soon, okay? Don’t want it to get infected. :smiley:

Cristi, Slayer of Peeps

I made my husband join a bridge club. He jumps next Tuesday.

(title & sig courtesy of UncleBeer and WallyM7!)

He was asking for it…

I have that superior nightvision stuff as well. Come to think of it, most of my senses are more acute than other people’s seem to be. Sight, hearing, smell. Touch and taste are about normal, apparently.

I also have the amazing, yet unenvied, ability to land directly in the “friendship zone” when I meet a girl.

Gingerly typing while standing up, Arnold makes a note to himself: always test the extent of a person’s superpowers before engaging them in battle. :frowning:

I can put one hand up over my shoulder, and the other around my back, clench them, then pull them over my head without releasing.

I also have this frog type dance that is undescribable, but whomever gets together with us in Minneapolis, I’ll try and demonstrate.

(hint to Canthearya to start a gathering)

I can crack all my knuckles too, and my knees - repeatedly. My right ankle sounds like a gunshot but it doesn’t go all the time. I’m not expecting to have an active old age.

I can also extend my tongue below the level of my chin - and now you guys know where I get my user-name from!

The Scots - never trust a race whose national dress includes a concealed knife.

My dad can wiggle his ears.

My husband can stick his big toe into his mouth.

And me? Well, I can remember useless information better than anyone I know. And I also have the amazing ability to share said information randomly in conversation to the point where I can bore the hell out of anyone.

Friends are also amazed by my ability to remember what year movies came out. I’m not as good at it as I used to be (must be the old age), but they used to quiz me on it all the time.

I never hate myself in the morning. I sleep till noon.
–Sig line courtesy of Wally :slight_smile:

I’m Supra-man!

I pop my chest.