Using my toes, I can pick a loose sock up off the ground, and, snapping my leg in a certain way, I can fling said sock behind my back, over my shoulder, and right into the laundry basket I’m holding nine out of ten times (the tenth ends up hitting the back of my head typically).
This trick is the envy of all who have witnessed it.
A friend of mine has managed to keep a goldfish she won at a church carnival alive for nearly nine years.
Another friend has the extremely disturbing ability to turn his feet backwards (this has to be seen to be believed) and make a loud popping noise with his pelvis.
So, do you think we might qualify for some kind of auxillary SuperHero positions? Does the Justice League of America keep a list of emergency stand-bys?
Hell, if they let Aqua-Man in they’ll take anybody, right?
I had a GIGANTIC crush on this guy I went to a summer arts institute with. I was sitting in the cafeteria, when he walked behind me, and said “Want to see something cool?” Took my glass of grape juice, and flipped it completely over (upside down cup, juice still in cup), spilling nary a drop of juice. I sat with my jaw slack, and just stared at him in amazement. “Now,” he said “The fun part. Bring your tray up to the dishwasher, and watch his face when he sees the cup.” I did, and it was one of the funnier things I have seen in my life.
I can decipher the medal ribbons worn by British and Canadian veterans, and tell where and when they served. Not very useful, but it does give me a warm feeling to walk up to on old codger and say “I see you were in North Africa with Montgomery’s 8th Army.” Generally it makes them very happy to be appreciated by someone young.
I have the amazing ability to find the slowest lane both on the highway and in the supermarket. Possibly the most useless superpower known to man. I’d definitely prefer being able to communicate with the aquatic.
I ask not what you can do for me, but what you can do for me right now.
I have two superpowers. I can twitch my nose like Samantha Stevens in Bewitched (although nothing happens yet). And I can walk with one or both feet in my mouth(do this one on a semi-permanent basis).
I can put my entire fist into my mouth. This trick makes me incredibly popular with the boys, until I tell them that if this trick is necessary with them, there’s no way I’d ever actually put it to use.
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Okay, be honest. How many of you, upon reading my talent, tried to do it yourselves? Damn near every single person I’ve ever mentioned it to ends up trying it.
I have the amazing ability to walk into a conversation just as something absolutely bizzarre- when taken out of context -is stated.
Example: A group of actor friends of mine were hanging around discussing roles they’d like to play. One of them (Moira, who usually plays villians) said she’d like to play Mary Poppins. To which someone else replied, “Evil Mary Poppins?” At this point Moira launched into a tirade about how she always gets typecast in evil, villainous roles, and how just for once, she was going to try to find the most Mother-Theresaish part she could find to try and dispell this image.
I walked into the room just as everyone shouted out in response “Evil Mother Theresa?” I looked at my friend, blinked twice, spun on my heels and walked out the door as the room dissolved in hysterical laughter.
These such things are now known as “John Corrado moments” amongst my friends.
JMCJ
“Y’know, I would invite y’all to go feltch a dead goat, but that would be abuse of a perfectly good dead goat and an insult to all those who engage in that practice for fun.” -weirddave, set to maximum flame
I can consume upwards of a pound of jellybeans in a disturbingly short period of time. I have a similar talent with Valentine chocolates, and don’t get me started on mac & cheese.
I can also make a neat shotgun noise with both my knees some morning.
Gamera is really neat, he is full of turtle meat, we’ve been eating Gam-er-aaaa…
My superpower is the uncanny psychic ability to summon a waiter to my table by taking a big bite of my dinner. Almost without fail, as soon as I do, the waiter will appear out of subspace, say “How’s everything? Good,” and disappear again before I can swallow.
Seriously, I have almost supernatural foot-rubbing skills. Mrs. Chef says so…in fact, she’ll frequently have me rub her left foot, then her right, then extend the left one again and say “You forgot this one.”
I really can turn myself invisible. Or rather inperceptable. I can walk right up to someone I know well, stand there observing them, and as long as I think about them not noticing me, they wont. I’ve had them look right through me before, it’s eerie.
I can cheer almost anyone up – I’m almost impossible to by unhappy around. I think it’s more a learned skill than superpower. It stemmed from the fact that I’m very empathic, so if someone is down, I’ll go down with them. To avoid this, I cheer them up. Then it’s just me that’s down.
One of my several superpowers is an interesting amalgam of Chef Troy’s and MadPoet’s (just call me the Composite ChefPoet!)…I can turn invisible, but only to waiters.
A gaggle of waiters can be standing to one side, calmly surveying a roomful of diners, alert and ready to pour more wine, assist with the menu, or take dessert orders. I will be gesticulating madly for my check, desperately wanting another cocktail, or choking violently on a scrap of tournedo de boeuf au maison, and not one of them will see me or pay me the slightest attention.
So if anyone needs an espionage job done at a waitpersons’ convention, get in touch with me care of The Straight Dope.
I can crack both of my big toes almost forever. It sounds like castinets. Drainy is not fond of this, however… Just another case of thee man keeping us down…
When I was 17, I fell down the stairs Christmas day. My toe got all swollen and icky, and I expressed my fear that I broke it. My parent’s reaction? “Ah, what’s one broken toe in this crazy mixed up world?” That toe gets all rheumatic when humidity is high, and I can crack it at will now.
All 10 knuckes and figures crack. All of them.
I can make a horrific popping noise just by leaning my head to the right or left. But that’s because the muscles in my back and neck are screwed up.
I take my fists, and place them in the small of my back, arch my back and push with my fists. ::poppoppoppop!::
My mom can recite the original Superman radio show theme song. She can’t remember my birthday (unless she REALLY concentrates,) but at the drop of a hat it’s “Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s Superman! Superman, yes Superman!Astrangevisitorfromanotherplanet…”
A little persistance goes a long way. Announcing:
“I go on guilt trips a couple of time a year. Mom books them for me.” A custom made Wally .sig!
