The ability to turn oneself into sentient rock (but not back).
Knowledge of all movie showtimes in Düsseldorf, Germany. If a resident of Düsseldorf should end up with this superpower, he knows last month’s showtimes instead.
The ability to read 1800 words per minute combined with the reading comprehension of a third-grader.
The ability to hear fax machines and modems from a mile away.
The ability to speak with any creature on Earth, but only in profanity.
The ability to detect the exact location of any 11920’s style death ray, after you have shot and killed by it.
The ability to pop balloons using the power of you’re mind.
The abiluty to instantaniously teleport to any location in the Universe, but only between 5:00, and 6:00 AM on Fuck It Days (the third tuesday of every other even-numbered month {Febuary, June, and October}).
back when i used to GM the old TSR game “Gamma World” (D&D after WWIII) i had a few “mutations” lined up simply for humourous effect…
“Useless Lycanthropy”; the ability to transform into a were-mouse, were-caterpillar, were-snail, were-crayfish, were-pufferfish, were-coral, etc…
for any of the “humanoid” characters with fur (tigeroids, etc…) i had a mutation defect lined up for when they misbehaved, for example… “Fear of fur”
…
the ability to camoflauge themselves any color (except plaid)
the ability to speak only in binary (or hex)
the ability to shapeshift into a ham sandwich
the ability to give yourself Lymphoma
the ability to emit lethal levels of gamma radiation from your toenails
the ability to breathe water (when on land) and the ability to breathe air (when underwater)
the ability to command the loyalty of bacteria (Acidophilous bacteria, Nitrosomonas and Nitrobacter bacteria)
the ability to translate the language of plants…into the language of hermit crabs
Invisible nose.
Indistructable nostril hairs.
The ability to taste music.
The ability to tie your tongue in a knot.
Ability to sneeze fart and burp at the same time without exploding.