Me, I can take any high minded concept and drag it through unheard of levels of stupidity until you can no longer think of that greatness without having to make a pit stop in the pithy levels of my mind.
I never said it was an ability I could use for good.
Also I can open a book to exactly the page I’m looking for. But that’s like a lama levitating while meditating before the great unwashed. I don’t like to brag. (But then why did I start this thread?)
I can lick my nose with my tongue. Okay, its not superhero stuff but it can gross people out 
I can babble incomprehensible nonsense and also bake decent brownies.
…I need better abilities.
My thumbs can bend backwards to 90 degrees at the last joint before the nail. (Dunno whether that should be referred to as the first or second).
I can bake (BritDope certified very good) mince pies and cookies…
I think that’s about it…
somnambulism, I doubt if I remember typing this…
I’m an excellent shot with a pistol or a rifle (no training!), and I can sing a bit, too.
When I worked as a cashier, I used to memorize peoples drivers liscense, credit card, and checking account numbers. Never did anything with them, I was just really bored. Good with the numbers, I am.
I have developed an amazing technology that allows me to see through walls.
I’m thinking of calling it the “window”
I generally form my arguement against something while listening to it. I like the Great Debates because almost nobody will argue with me in RL.
I have a near-photographic memory, or a completely photographic memory that occasionally runs out of film. I can remember about ninety percent of all facts I read. The rest I just make up.
I can also stick my entire fist in my mouth. I’m not sure if that is because I have small hands or a big mouth, but some people seem to find it impressive!
I can program a VCR without reading the manual.
Is a ‘special ability’ like a Pokemon power? In which case I also have a secret special ability but no-ones told me what it is.
I have an uncanny ability to decipher and remember song lyrics. This is big waste as the US government decided that using my singing to question Al Queda suspects would be too inhumane.
I can swallow a banana whole. I can shadow someone for hours without them noticing (I’m a copper, not a stalker!). I can close doors on a draughty day with my mind! I can see through my eyelids and react to things in my sleep that I shouldn’t be able to see (e.g. blocking a rolled up newspaper being swung at me)! I have a fantastic sense of smell and when I worked as a chemist I would identify many compounds by smell alone. I have a 90kg grip strength. I can track animals and set snares. I can tell you whether it’s going to rain tomorrow without looking at the forecasts.
Oh, and I’m very, very, very lucky. (And luck is one of the three non-physical things I believe in, even though most dopers laugh at it!)
I have to ask, what are the other two? 
I can repel women. I just wish I was that effective with mosquitoes.
I have the special ability of sitting in my office for 7.5 hours a day and doing no work whatsoever, thanks to all you interesting dopers out there that keep and hold my attention!!
keep AND hold…Gah! I also have the ability to use odd/improper grammar…like many dopers. heh heh.
Like Draelin, I have a habit for sopping up trivia.
Like OneYogini, I have a horrendous work ethic.
I can destroy any organization just by joining it.
I am a hypochondriac who is consistently diagnosed with real problems by medical professionals.
I know the secret of invisibility.
I’ve been told that I am a good kisser; but, the truth is that I have a comically short tongue.