Lets see what you can do! I don’t what to hear about the olympic atheletes and world class musicians on the board. This is MPSIMS, lets hear about your mundane and maybe pointless talent you have, something nobody would figure you have.
I recently revealed to my wife that I am an incredible floor buffer. I mean I could win awards. She seemed shocked. For some reason the explaination ," Well I was in the army", wasn’t good enough for her.
In case you are wondering, if you join the army you will spend more time on a buffer than you will on a rifle range.
I can cure drunk people of the hiccups. I can do it to sober people, too, but for some reason drunk people are both easier to cure and much, much more appreciative of my talent.
When I am putting away leftovers I can perfectly estimate the size container I need no matter what the food is. Soups and stews never fool me no matter if they were cooked in a tall skinny pot or a large shallow one. I can get chicken bones to stack like cordwood and fit in the smallest container for the job. I can cut a piece of aluminum foil or plastic wrap exactly the right size for any solid food.
Pizza slices? Not even a challenge! I can wrap a bundt cake and not leave an air space. Plus, I never overestimate and waste any of my wrapping material.
Most likely because they are more suggestive and relaxed. I still prefer the bitters and lime bartender’s trick.
I can always discern at a glance the fastest (not always the shortest) line. I dunno–I can just pick out the people who are going to cause trouble, I guess. I wish I could control traffic lights–that would be my preferred superpower–but no such luck.
Please forgive this mini-hijack but this reminds me of the thing about the guy asking the bartender “Say, why do the women all flock around that ugly guy in that back booth?”
The bartender replies, “Damfino, all he does is sit there and lick his eyebrows.”
I can flip the bird with my toes. (Only on my left foot, though.)
I can sing the names of the presidents in order to the tune of Yankee Doodle Dandy, but only up to Bush Senior, who was president when my seventh grade history teacher made us learn it. After that, I get lost. (This is actually a pretty good party trick, if the other partygoers are drunk nerds.)
When I blow my nose, water (or snot. or magic juice, i dunno) squirts out of my right eye.
This is a recently developed talent and someday I hope to be brave enough to snort and shoot other liquids out of my eye. And then people will pay me alots of money to do it at parties.
Woah…that’s kinda like doing the Elvis-lip thing, but with your lower lip. If we ever meet IRL, can I politely ask you now that you not do that?
As for me, I can wrap presents like a mofo. My wife isn’t allowed anywhere near the Christmas wrapping.
I have a great memory of faces. I’ll meet someone in passing and recognize their face and then spend the next three hours trying to place it. I once recognized a kid from kindergarten when we were in high school.
I can smuggle wrapped and disguised (to avoid guessing of the item) Christmas presents from the Bay Area to San Diego in the car without my wife noticing. Furthermore, I can label it in such a fashion that everyone thinks it is from everyone else but me.
I can perform the operations “pat” ant “rub” on the operands “head” and “belly” in any order you care to name.
I can make a taco shape with my tongue.
I can fail to notice something sitting right in front of my face.
I can draw passable portraits of Alton Brown from a paused TiVo image, using my friend’s kid’s Magna Doodle while sitting on his floor. The little boy decided it wasn’t abstract enough though, and added a bunch of dramatic squiggles.
