Everything about Skype and Microsoft Support can die in a fire

The BBQ Pit
1

So lately I’ve had some trouble with my skype. Can’t make calls to other skype users or phones. After spending a while testing (and reminding myself that every update to skype thus far has been a disappointment), it turns out it’s linked to my account. First thought: what the hell? This seems to be a fairly specific problem for me - none of my other contacts have this problem. I can still log in and send messages. There’s no notification from skype or information on this. I still have money on my skype account, which I usually use to call my less tech-savvy family on the phone. What the fuck is this shit?

So okay, let’s talk to support. Step one: contact support. I go through a list of problems… Hmm, none of them match my problem, but let’s click through and see if I can get some help.

Nope! Every link that doesn’t involve paid services is to “ask the community”. Okay, I get it, can’t spend a bunch of money on support for a free app. Makes sense. That’s fair.

So how about that community forum? Okay, let’s sign up for that. Okay, log in. It’s asking me for an email address. I can’t sign on with my skype ID (like I did for the skype website), because for some reason the skype support is on the microsoft page instead of the Skype page, where I am already signed in. Okay. That’s fine. Stupid and unnecessary, but welcome to Skype being owned by windows, I guess.

So let’s sign in with my microsoft account from my laptop. Nope, that doesn’t work. It just sends me a message that that email is taken. Which is the point, that’s why I’m trying to use it to log in! Okay, other email address, the one from my XBox. Taken.

What the fuck do you want from me, Microsoft?!

I don’t want to make another new Microsoft account. I already have several, thank you very much!

But okay, so I create a new account. Then they ask for a screen name. I enter one of my usual names with a variation. “There was an error in the system”. Okay. That’s a weird error for a name validator, and I’d guess nobody has that name… Let’s try another. “There was an error in the system”.

…Urge to kill rising.

So I just mash my keyboard and press enter. That time it works. So I sign in with the username asdfaqzsadhafgrarwesgarg. Lovely. So after about two hours of fiddling with various things, and the person I wanted to call being gone for an hour, I finally get to sign in and ask a question. Let’s see if the community has an answer to a question that is almost necessarily a skype backend error. Not exactly likely, but worth a shot.

In short, this entire experience was counterintuitive, broken, obnoxious, and shitty. Fuck microsoft for buying an excellent piece of software and running it into the fucking ground.

2

Follow-up: upon realizing that I had spent money on skype, and that options having to do with being unable to access paid features have actual support, I got on the line there. First, I spent over an hour waiting in the support queue. Then, I was introduced to the first level support. I started the call by making it clear what I had and had not tested already. Given that I spent the better part of an hour troubleshooting this shit and actually work in IT, that’s some potentially useful information. You know, things like “reinstalling skype did nothing” and “testing on another device did nothing” and “It worked perfectly once I logged into another account on the same device, so there is literally no way in fucking hell that it could be because of my goddamn audio drivers”. But no. Apparently, in order to access real support, I first have to undergo some fucking hazing. So I follow instructions, install LogMeIn, spend two fucking hours doing things I know full well ain’t gonna do shit, including disabling my antivirus and firewall - HEY ASSHOLES, IF IT WAS MY FUCKING FIREWALL, I WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO MAKE CALLS WHEN I SIGNED INTO A DIFFERENT ACCOUNT! YOU FUCKING CRETIN! IT IS 1:30 IN THE FUCKING MORNING AND I JUST NEED SOME GODDAMN SLEEP! - and then, and only then, is the person I was communicating with (who, for the record, was perfectly professional, and seemed legitimately apologetic for how this hazing was required) able to elevate my issue. Great.

If I never need support for Skype again I will be happy. The sooner I can get all my friends to swap to discord the better.

3

Did you try rebooting?

::runs away laughing wildly::

4

Well, did it get fixed or what?

Have you tried using a regular phone to call people? :slight_smile:

5

FFFFFFFffffff

6

We should start calling you Budget Faceroll Cadet. :cool:

7

I was a happy Skype user once upon a time. Then they disabled callto:// url compatibility. Soon after that, the interface exploded with huge buttugly icons and began taking up most of one’s screen. Ads appeared. It stopped receiving calls reliably. Got buggier and buggier.

For a long time I kept using Skype 2.x (with the identifying information in the .app bundle hacked to make Skype’s servers think it was using 6.x). That was the last version to be integrated with callto:// URLs. But it, too, got buggier and buggier as it was more and more out of date and their servers weren’t being designed around backwards compat with versions they no longer supported.

I’ve moved to an industry-standard SIP and I’m on Bria X now.

8

It took awhile, but I eventually learned that when having a problem with Windows, don’t bother looking for answers at Microsoft.