I seem to have the Midas touch, only in reverse. Everything I touch lately seems to turn to shit.
In late December I bought a model train set. Since then I’ve bought a bunch of accessories. I’ve spent well over $1000 on it. And the fucking thing won’t work. I’ve tried a process of elimination approach, altering only one variable at a time, but it seems that whenever I’ve narrowed it down to component X, component X suddenly works and component Y seems broken. I’ve cleaned, I’ve oiled, and and I’ve rewired, and yet unlike Mussolini, I can’t get my trains to run on time. Or at all. I’ve spent $1000 on junk.
My computer is broken. It started with extreme slowdowns and lockups, in which mouse clicks would be delayed by up to as much as 20 minutes, while the hard drive grinds away. After defragging and checkdisking, now I can’t even boot up without the motherfucker crashing. I spent several hours last night trying to fix it (mostly watching in astonishment as it just froze), and it’s worse than ever. Oh, and to you idiot Mac heads who are about to say “Get a Mac, they never break”, get bent. I’d shoot you, except I’d probably break the gun as well. Ya can’t win for losin’, I tells ya…
My teeth are broken. I brush, I floss, and yet I still owe the dentist $2300 for an implant that will likely fail anyway. $2300 that I don’t have and I’ll likely never see. And that is not including the crown that I’ll need, nor does it include the 7 cavities that I need filled and the root canal that I need yesterday. I can’t pay for this shit. And it seems like my teeth are just getting worse. I’ll be needing dentures by the age of 44. Not that I can afford them. And even if I get them, I’ll probebly break them.
“Eat less, exercise more” is the mantra that the anti-fatties of the board love to espouse. Go fuck yourselves. I’ve been eating less. I’ve been exercising everyday. And I’m fatter than ever. I’m a fat, toothless, trainless moron with no computer.
And on top of all that, I can’t seem to write a Pit thread lately that doesn’t make me sound like a complete loony.
Fuck life.
