A little while ago, I made a simple modification to my car. Using a straight pin, I rotated up the nozzle that normally uselessly dribbles some washer fluid on my rear windshield. Now, it sprays a good three feet behind my car. Very handy for dealing with assholes on the road. Nothing is more satisfying that “peeing” on the hood of a tailgating car.
Life is more fun when you have a Tail Gun.
So I told my wife about this simple toy. … Evidentally, I am evil.
She envisioned the almost-guaranteed-to-happen-scenario.
::Takes deep breath::
By spraying the guy behind me he becomes so startled that he spins out and causes a firey 50 car pileup on the highway which blocks off the only route of the ambulance that was carrying the antidote to the school at the next exit where one kid brought peanut butter cookies to school by accident which leads to the allergic reaction death of the only son of the Chinese diplomat who in his rage convinces his government to nuke us (Canada) into oblivion and the radiation is carried down to the United States on a very sudden North-South jet stream giving 90% of the U.S. population radiation poisoning which totally shuts down the American economy throwing the world into a devastating recession which closes all hospitals across the world that allows a new and very deadly outbreak of the plague which kills 98% of the world’s population leaving the survivors to seek refuge in the Sahara desert where they live a meek existance until an unseasonably cold winter freezes everyone else to death which guarantees that no one will notice the five million kilometre wide meteorite heading towards earth which pulverizes the planet into tiny bits.
Hell no. There’s no need to throw the baby out with the bathwater, here. Your only mistake was in startling the guy; therefore, you need only provide him with a more visible warning sign.
I humbly suggest that you replace your washer fluid with rubbing alcohol and run an 18-gauge wire from your coil to the ‘modified’ nozzle, thus rendering your new toy’s output both highly-visible and extremely entertaining.
Better that than to be involved in the pile up when the asshole tailgater piles into you if you have to hit the brakes for whatever reason. People who tailgate should be taken to the side of the road and shot on general principle.
I see a fatal encounter with an irate, gun-toting maniac in your future. Road-rage is likely to surface its ugly head if you go out of your way to piss off aggressive drivers.
Glad you like it - but unfortunately I can not claim credit for it. Someone who originally gave me the idea for the Tail Gun is the source of the quote…
Another idea would be to replace the washer fluid with brake fluid. Might as well mess up the guy’s paint job… Originally posted by HairyPotter;
Excellent point. I spent a fair bit of time up in Canada earlier this year, and I found the people I worked with to be very refreshing. I even watched some TV while there, because there were a couple of programs actually worth watching! “Talking to Americans” was a stitch, and there were a couple of great political satire shows that kept me in stitches laughing.