The mention of Underworld reminded me of another relatively recent so-called “horror” film that turned out to be painfully deficient in the villainy department–I refer, of course, to Van Helsing, and in particular Richard Roxburgh as the absolute least scary Dracula in movie history (even if you include George Hamilton’s and Leslie Nielsen’s performances). Yes, Dracula, Vlad the Impaler, Stoker’s immortal vampire lord, the quintessential horror movie villain, whom Roxburgh depicts as Gary Oldman impersonating Al Pacino impersonating Leonid Brezhnev, while wearing Sting’s wardrobe. This Dracula couldn’t scare Lou Costello, let alone an army of Turks. It’s therefore no real surprise that his master plan also makes no freaking sense…vampires reproduce from EGGS?* What the hell happened to creating more vampires by, you know, biting people?
Setting the WABAC machine a bit earlier, one of the first major letdowns I can recall involving a movie villain was the incomprehensibly pathetic depiction of arch-criminal Lex Luthor in Richard Donner’s Superman. Seriously, what was that all about? The movie was, up to that point, a reasonably conservative and respectful update of the comic book origin–and then, from the moment we are introduced to Luthor (or, more precisely, to Ned Beatty and his wacky comic-relief theme music), the story takes a huge left turn straight to Goofyland. Why? Up to that time, Lex Luthor had gone through many incarnations in the comic book, from stereotypical mad scientist to gangster overlord to contemporary-of-Clark Kent-from-childhood-who-carries-an-eternal-grudge-against-Superman-for-causing-his-hair-to-fall-out. The movie, on the other hand, blazes an entirely new trail by portraying him as a guy who lives in a sewer, commands an army of two people, and whose signature act of villainy is to condemn the population of Hackensack to death.** Gene Hackman is a fine actor, amply capable of playing cinematic villainy with varying shades of humor and charisma. It’s a shame that he was wasted here in a role more suited for a John Ritter-level of comic subtlety. Thank goodness, then, that Hackman was able to reclaim the character’s integrity in the sequels.
*No, I’m not going to waste a spoiler box on this revelation. If it dissuades you from renting the movie, you should get down on your knees and thank me.
**The whole “sinking California as a real-estate scam” would really have made a wonderfully flamboyant comic-book-by-way-of-Bond-villain scheme, if the movie hadn’t taken every single opportunity to hammer home how silly it all was.
