I’d imagine that’s what Sam Vimes would hand out for Halloween. 
That was my first thought as well!
Dog biscuits
Ladyfingers.
Not cookies; proper ones.
Same idea-Chicken Bones.
Anything that isn’t candy, like those plastic spider rings. Those are even worse than raisins or root beer barrels. And can’t adults figure out they are useless after Halloween is over?
Fruit of any kind. Even caramel apples, because they are bulky.
ANY written material, whether it is Jesus-related, or “Say ‘No’ to Drugs,” or “Stay in School,” or whatever. Exception for a black and orange fortune cookie I got once, with an actually funny joke in it.
Any candy labeled “nut, dairy and gluten-free.”
Sugar-free candy.
“Candy” made with carob instead of chocolate, and fruit juice “sweetened” that came from a health food store.
Circus peanuts.
Even good candy is not worth it if the grown-up makes you feel the “bowl of brains” (spaghetti), or “eyeballs” (peeled grapes) before they will give it to you.
Any Canadian will tell you that the evilest of all Halloween candy is Thrills gum. Straight from Satan’s candy bowl.
Condoms.
Nerds, Ring Pops, Blow Pops and Dum-Dums and other lollipops, Jolly Ranchers, Skittles, bubble gum … 
pickled herring.
miniature sweet and sour pineapple upside-down cakes.
Those chocolate drops your Easter Bunny laid.
Bus schedules for nonexistent routes (kids like to explore, don’t they?)
The black widows and scorpions you cleaned out of the shed. (Kids love crawly things!)
Send 'em to me next, and I’ll give them a CD of porn, so they can learn how to use one.
Chocolate Ex-Lax wrapped in a Hershey’s wrapper.
A cup of coffee.
A miniature combination Russian phrasebook and Bible.
-One sardine, in mustard sauce.
-Lolipop sitcks, sans pop
-Miniature sex toys (no one gives out full size to trick or treaters)
-Anatomically correct ginger bread figures
Opinion varies on what constitutes “fun-size” for toys.
I would give out cheap, plastic whistles. That way, their parents can enjoy it too.
A C-ration can of Ham and Lima Beans.
-Hyper caffeinated chocolate covered coffee beans
-Atomic Fireballs
-Bertie Bott jelly beans, but I’d take out all the nice ones.
-pink insulation “candy floss”