Holy shit. Maybe the two of you could take a lesson from the Marine you’re busy fellating and try not to come across as butt-hurt crybabies.
Do you do ever do anything other than barge in with your oh-so-original Mr. Liberal Hipster Who’s Sensitive and P.C. But Also Isn’t Afraid to Use His Rapier Wit and Barbed Tongue to Strike at the Old Hidebound Orders of Patriarchy and The Man, and thread-shit?
Seriously I wouldn’t ordinarily call you out on this shit but that last post was way too snide.
ETS: Ah, fuck it.
Mmmfffmmffmm? I’m sorry, what? I couldn’t hear you properly, my mouth was full of Marine cock.
Did he have his forefingers in your ears also? Unusual technique you’ve got going there!
This is an unnecessarily offensive personal attack on two other posters .
And this is an official warning that you should avoid such attacks in the future.
twickster, MPSIMS moderator
I saw the headlines for this the other day. But the headline read something like this:
Marine fights off mountain lion with chainsaw.
I immediately thought “Shit, marines can fend off mountain lions armed with chainsaws? Those are some tough mofos!”
WTF does being a marine have anything to do with it? Give my 12 year old daughter a chainsaw and she’d hold off a pack of wolves.
An unarmed adult could fight off almost all mountain lion attacks.
Is that humor? Because I don’t think anyone is getting it.
You may feel sympathy for the dead animal, but do you really think that this guy and his wife and kids should be mauled by a lion? Because that’s pretty fucking crazy.
See, here’s the deal. I don’t care that the guy was a Marine or Navy Seal or an accountant or whatever. Making statements that you would favor a mountain lion mauling any family isn’t funny. It’s weird and bizarre.
And your chiming in with your two cents is so over the top as to do defy reason.
IOW, I’m giving **ivan astikov **advice on not looking like at best an inappropriate jerk and at worst a lunatic.
Well, suit yourself, but bet on the chainsaw! 
I have already warned Kimmy_Gibbler for what he said – I would prefer to not have to make additional warnings in this thread. You are, of course, free to disagree with what other people have to say about this situation, but please refrain from personal attacks. If you can’t keep the conversation civil, take it to the Pit.
twickster, MPSIMS moderator
Wow. I find it amazing that there are only two possible opinions allowed here;
- The Marine was a big and brave man defending his country and family using a garden implement from a wicked evil mountain lion that probably not only wanted to eat his darling small helpless children but also wanted to violate his wife, spit on the American flag and fly a plane into the Statue of Liberty.
or
- The Marine was a big meanie who should have just let himself and his family get mauled to death to feed the poor starving big kitty cat because it was his own fault for being out there in the cat’s territory looking all tasty and being made of meat.
C’mon, can’t we feel bad for a starving wild animal that was killed because it was doing nothing more than being a hungry wild animal? Does it have to mean that we are all crazy PETA types who feel humans should offer themselves as alternate sources of food for native wildlife? For the record, I am glad that the humans survived, however I do feel bad that the mountain lion had to meet it’s end.
But I also agree a chain saw is not very sporting unless the mountain lion also had one.
I for one am certainly not taking either extreme position. It was implied by another poster that the lion should have made a meal of him because he was a Marine, as if being one is somehow bad.
Yeah it’s kinda sad that a mountain lion was starving and all, but I’ll value human life over theirs every time. It’s strange that a mountain lion would be that starving in it’s own element, in a wildlife preserve that’s presumably rife with the cat’s natural prey, and it not being winter or anything.
I’d think Mr. Britton should be rather embarrassed. I mean he was a Marine and now he’s been caught “camping” in an RV and cutting fire wood with a chain saw. Then when encountering OPFOR in his re-con he retreats to his unsecured rally point exposing his unarmed civilian advisers to attack. The man’s gone soft. Send him back to Paris Island for retraining.
Now, if he’d just emerged from his pup tent, killed the lion with an entrenching tool and served it for breakfast; he could hold his head high.*
For the sarcasm impaired this is as a joke. I do not in any way condone bludgeoning wild animals as a demonstration of manly prowess nor do I support throwing women and children to ravenous lions of any species (except under certain dire circumstances)*
[INDENT]**This is also a joke[/INDENT]
What are those things sticking out of his paws?
Do they rotate on a metal chain around his feet at 10,000 rpms?
Yeah, and those sharp things in it’s mouth?
Maybe we should at least have let the Marine have a stick. If he was any kind of real Marine, he would have rapidly fashioned a spear out of it and impaled the beast.
Upon review, or an entrenching tool!
That was pretty funny!
Count me firmly in a third camp:
- The idea of a Marine fending off a mountain lion with a frickin’ chainsaw is simply badass. If the phrase “wicked awesome” were in the dictionary, next to it would appear a stylized pictogram dipicting a little stick figure Marine wielding a chainsaw against a giant stick-figure cat (if you must, with ribs poking out to indicate its nutritional state).
I’m sorry the poor animal was starving - but hey, this it’s not like he even killed the thing. The rangers had to do that. This is, however, a good example of how Marines can go soft once they’re out of the service - a real Marine would have been chewing through trees with his teeth to collect firewood.
As an aside, this incident leads me to think we should re-word Darwin’s axiom: instead of “survival of the fittest” it should be “survival of those with the biggest power tools”.
Can the Marine sprint up to 35 mph and bite with 3000+ lbs of force?
Here’s a short guide on surviving a Mountain Lion encounter.
I like this one:
DO
10. Use anything available as a weapon if the lion displays aggression but *generally not if you must turn your back, crouch, kneel, or bend over to get one
a. Carry mace or pepper spray where you can easily reach it
b. Use fists, sticks, rocks, tools, a pocket knife, a bicycle, whatever you can hit with, throw, and/or use as a shield
c. Target an eye with your thumbs, fingers, or a weapon
Yeah right. I’m going to thumb a freakin mountain lion in the eye like one of the Three Stooges.
To hear them talk, yes.