Face it, chicks dig musicians. But why?

Okay, maybe I’m biased, because I am one. A musician, that is, not a chick.

Anyway, as I commit the most gross generalization, why do women like musicians? I have played piano for almost twenty years, and almost every time I play in public, I get about three times as many female admirers as male. These ladies are often bright-eyed and/or gushy, (in my opinion) overly complimentary about my playing, and so on.

So what’s the deal, man? Is it some cosmic mystique? Is it because of some emotional connection to someone who’s creating a song with his hands? Is it wondering what those hands can do?

I dunno. Anybody got any ideas?


If I had a nickel for everytime I’ve heard a girl say something to the effect of, “Rock stars are HOT!!!” I’d have retired years ago.

Probably something to do with the fact that they can get up on stage and perform. You know, self-confidence or something.

I don’t know, but as a non-musician, I hate you.

[sub]For the humor-impaired: IT’S A JOKE!!![/sub]

Because we’re all hung like mules.

It works both ways ya know. I’ve heard loads of guys say they get turned on by the sight of a girl playing guitar.

Good answers. Until I hear from some real women, I’m going to go with the notion of self-confidence that comes from performing in public, with a dash of free self-expression and the sense of emotional closeness that creates.

Any Doper ladies out there like to toss in an answer?

I’ve not heard many guys express those sentiments about women, ruadh, but I admit it could be true. Maybe it’s because a guitar is not a traditionally feminine instrument as is a violin, clarinet, flute, and so on. But come to think of it, the coolest girl I remember from school was the one who played the contrabass in the orchestra.


Er, they haven’t made me turn my membership card in yet.

Really? And you living in Olympia, the female musician capital of the world (or at least it was ten years ago).

Sorry, ruadh. One, I claim ignorance. (Always a safe bet.) Two, you didn’t actually answer my question why. I admit it happens, but I don’t know what the appeal is.

Two, no, I don’t hear people saying that in Olympia. Sorry. :slight_smile:

Maybe I just hang out in the wrong places.


I think it’s about power. Men and women are attracted to different things in each other (for example youth is valued in women, while women look for maturity in men) and one thing that the girls are strongly attracted to is power. When you’re out there playing your guitar or singing, and all of those people are there just to see you, that’s power. Girls understand that, and they want you.

Man, I’ve got to pick up that guitar again…

Musicians have good fingers. Well, except for kazoo players, presumably. Don’t you want the girl who can tie a cherry stem in a knot with her tongue?

Well, I guess I’m not the typical sample on this, but I like musician guys because I’m a musician girl. Music’s my life, and I need a guy who understands that, who can relate somehow to what music and playing and singing mean to me. But for that, I gotta weed out the real music-lovers from the guys who only play to get chicks. So that’s my reason, anyways.

Plus, bassists in particular are just so good with their fingers… :wink:

::resists the urge to toss in a link to the one existing picture of herself with her guitar::

Don’t resist. Link.

Having recently spent an evening watching women hurling their bras at Jack White of the White Stripes, who doesn’t seem all that much of a looker, I have been comtemplating this issue.

Thinking about that, and about all the local women who literally threw themselves at musician friends when I was younger, all I can say is, man, did I choose the wrong career path.

Er, sorry, got off the the track there. What I meant to say was, maybe this is too site-specific, but living as I did in a dying steel town (see the movie Slapshot for actual footage), most young women I knew had nothing to look forward to but a job as a hairdresser or more likely, after three or four kids, housewife to a flannel-shirt-wearing millworker who refuses to dance because it’s unmanly.


Musicians were the only available men there who displayed themselves as artistes of some kind, and were regularly present around town but were perceived as having escaped from a doomed fate of drudgery and limited horizons. Of course, playing an unending string of dives for decades in a local covers band is a form of drudgery all its own, but whatever.

Or how about these: 1) the sexual symbolism of displaying manual dexterity on an instrument, causing it to make sounds of pleasure; 2) a sort of peacock effect (spotlights, flashy clothes, lots of picturesque leaping about; 3) musicians, through their instruments and song lyrics, can much more easily communicate their desires to large groups of women (even if just to get laid repeatedly) than most men could ever achieve (or hope to get away with) by conversation alone.

I’d argue that in general, chicks dig men who can display creativity of this sort. I’m a guitar player, but I’ve surely won more points from my girlfriend through my writing, which I’m better at.
There might be something to the finger thing as well. :cool:

Well, there’s definitely something refreshing about meeting a guy who does something fun, creative, and interesting, and for me it’s actually a plus if it’s something that doesn’t pay well. It shows he’s got his priorities in the right place.

Add my vote to the “finger thing” as well.

I’d appreciate it if you all referred to it as dutchboy208’s finger thing, since it was my idea…

Just kidding…

Lady Dopers, click here for your viewing pleasure (or extreme amusement)


You get bonus points if your instrument requires extensive use of your tongue, as well.

Girl here.

Must stress that the guy be a competent musician. Otherwise, major turn-off. Though competence is subjective depending on the listener’s experience.

Flash is not required for me, my husband plays the tuba and after I watched him play his college senior recital, I was quite randy.

I personally don’t think power has anything to do with it, but may with some girls.

Here’s what I think:
–I find it a real turn-on when men expose their vulnerability through the spoken word, which I think is relatively rare. But I think music by its very nature is emotional and expressive…hot, hot, hot!
–When a man is competent at anything, it’s a great plus. I think (hope) men view women the same way.

So, I also think it’s hot that men play football and during doing so, hug and slap and dance and cry and all that. Good stuff!!

Swooningly Yours,

I think it’s the way a musician puts his emotions out there as if they were on his sleeve. This prolly also includes confidence because i know i would feel awfully awkward spinning off lyrics.