I’m an agnostic, sort of. I believe there is something happening, some creative intelligence in the universe, but I’m not qualified to give it a name or attribute deeds and behaviors to it. My mom was a bit of a New Ager/Wiccan wannabe, so I never received any formal religious indoctrination.
Although I don’t subscribe to any established religion—having sensed as a child that most religions are bullshit ways to manipulate people—I am keenly interested in religion and spirituallity from a sociological standpoint.
Most religions seem to be a bit silly to me. I’d never say anything about it—I wouldn’t want to step on anyone’s Happy Shoes—but when someone starts talking about their religion, I can’t help but think it’s just as absurd as describing how Apollo drives his chariot of fire across the sky to create sunrise and sunset.
I was raised in a Pentecostal church that believe in Biblical literalism, demon possession, and so forth. I don’t mean to attack kanicbird, but the sort of things he avers to be truth and inspired by God are the sorts of things I was taught. I was very passionate about my belief until I realized, while reading the book of I Samuel, that the God described therein was an evil, sadistic bastard. I tried to get my parents to explain this to me, got grounded for thinking too much, and became an atheist for a long time.
In my late 20s I came back to the church upon hearing a sermon given by a very liberal cleric whom I still consider a friend. The thrust of her semon was that many people fall away from the church not because of Christ’s teachings but because of poor behavior of people in the church, such as discouraging and punishing honest doubt. There was an emotional hole in my life at the time, and it was very attractive to me, so I started to going to church again.
My second de-conversion happened by bits and pieces over the last year. It’s best summarized by Laplace’s words to Napoleon: “'Je n’avais pas besoin de cette hypothèse-là.” I know of no physical phenomena that require a God to explain them, and even theism simplifies certain metaphyiscal & ethical issues, there is no convincing reason to worship Yahweh rather than Zeus or Mithra. In my opinion, of course.
My mom was raised Catholic (Catholic school and all) and my dad Mennonite (summer camps and all) but when they had kids they decided to raise us Lutheran. Well, mom did - dad just didn’t go to church ever.
I liked church. I liked Sunday school. Church was small and all my friends were there. They had fun toys. Church also helped us out financially, as the family was in some pretty dire straits when I was a tot.
I liked confirmation class (12 and 13 year olds). Our teacher and pastor are really smart dudes. They talked pretty openly and frankly about stuff. The pastor can read both Hebrew and Greek and often pointed out discrepancies in translations. He’s a real scholar. They also taught us about other religions and other Christian sects…I thought that was really important.
In my teens, I just couldn’t be bothered to get out of bed for church. Then one lady in the church started pushing this Lutherans For Life (pro-life) stuff and I finally realized that there were politics involved in church. This didn’t sit well with me so I stopped going altogether.
When I was 18 I found I still believed in the basic idea of Christianity and got a cross tattoo on my leg as a very personal reminder of what it’s all about (Christ died for my sins). Eleven years later I do not regret it and still believe.
A few years ago “my” church fell on some hard times, and started a massive building project that would only work if members pitched in. So I spent a LOT of time doing construction with the other volunteers. I really enjoyed it, and the project actually restored my “faith” - as in, I realized what religion meant to me. It meant helping others, as my family had been helped before.
I also recently started attending a “deep study of weekly lessons” class at the church, just to get back into The Book. I felt it helped me understand MY Christianity better and help separate it from Christianity On TV. The state of religion in America really scares me, and I almost felt BAD for being a Christian. Going to the class helped me sort it all out, and I don’t feel like it’s all a big lie anymore.
What MY faith is helps ME and I feel like I am doing what is right for me and for everyone around me. I definitely try to have my faith augment my life, not replace it or mask it.
The day I was told I would go to hell for reading a comic book on Sunday. It was burned so I would really understand. I figured if I was supposed to believe something that stupid, I had better look at the rest of what I was being told about god. The bible doesn’t stand up well to scrutiny. I was 12 and raised southern baptist, we went to church at least twice a week unless it was revival time, then we went 8 hours a day every day.
My parents were Lutheran, and I suppose I could say devout. I was raised that way for 18 years. Church every Sunday - I was in Junior Choir for like ten years, and Bell Choir (handbells) for maybe eight? I played the organ at church for special occassions, I taught Sunday School and did babysitting in the nursery, and when I turned 18 I kinda stopped.
I’m not sure what I believe at this point. I haven’t had the time nor the inclination to give it a whole lot of thought. It all makes my head hurt.
I’m not trying to be flip either - this is something I’m just not up to handling right now (at this point in my life).
I label myself a Catholic, but I reckon that religion is always individual, only the labels are collective. The way I see it, “religion” is directly linked to “concept of God”, this to “life experience,” and since each person’s experience is different, so’s every believer’s religion. The views are less different for people who don’t question authority, but well, I’ve got a problem with authority
I don’t agree 100% with all the dogmas and laws of the RCC, but it’s an useful shortcut, plus I’ve found that when it comes to collective celebrations, those protestant ones which look a lot like a Mass minus Communion just aren’t satisfying, for me. If I’m spending upwards on half an hour in some room listening to some dude’s own opinions of God with no possibility to opine back, I want my wafer pout
A defining moment in my faith-or-lack-thereof was when, aged 11 or 12, I was about to jump off a 10th-floor balcony because I saw myself as a waste of breathable air but I stepped back saying “no, I refuse to believe that God’s an asshole, if I’m here there has to be something I’m good at, I just need to find it.” Not because it defined a belief in providencialism (I’m not that personalist), but because it defined the point where I rejected the always-angry and nitpicking God my parents pushed on me and started looking for my own officially (mind you, I’d already been doing it, just not so… conscientiously).
I don’t like reading theology books cos they can’t answer if I talk back, but I love me a good theological discussion. Damn but I miss Father Victory… (may God have him in His Glory)
I’m Jewish. I got bar mitzvahed, and went through five years of Hebrew School, more than I actually had to in order to get the top rate ceremony. We weren’t super religious, but I figured God had to exist because my Hebrew school books said so, and all my friends seemed to think so. That Jesus stuff was clearly hooey, though.
Then I stumbled across an essay on the real authors of the Bible (J and that bunch) and the whole charade fell apart. In grad school I read the entire Bible, cover to cover, and that pretty much sealed it. I can construct a model of the world with god, and one without god, and the one without is much better at representing reality than the one with.
I figured out later that my grandfather was almost certainly an atheist, so maybe my lack of faith is genetic in part.
I have generic Christian beliefs and I don’t follow the doctrine of any particular demonination. This is how I was raised. My family and I attended a small country church as a young boy, but by the time I was 12 or so we, as a family drifted away from the church as my dad didn’t like the new pastor and he didn’t like all the phony hypocrisy he saw in people who put up a facade or morality and piousness. As a prominent local businessman, he knew what a lot of these people were like in real life. We never sought out another church and I can’t say as I really missed going.
When I was in my early 20s I had a brief moment of “born-again-Christian” and went to church just about every week, but I became uncomfortable with pretending to be someone I was not. I didn’t read the Bible or do all the prayers or listen to the music that my then-fellow congregators listened to, so after about a year or so of this I drifted away from the church again.
In my following adult years I have become disillusioned with the whole idea of religion, as it seems to corrupt people and create more problems than it solves. As another poster stated upthread, it fosters hatred and intolerance. I believe in living one’s life so as to be good to oneself and to be good to others, but I don’t need a God to help me to conduct my life this way. To be honest, about the only time I ever pray is when I am faced with a crisis. I have trouble understanding why people would voluntarily subject themselves to all the restrictions religions place on people’s lives. I used to think religious people were all to be admired and respected as I did my grandparents, who were religious and quite devoted to their faith, but not to the extent that they shoved it down everyone’s throats. As I have since learned, there are a lot of nutjobs out there whose behavior is motivated by their fervent religious beliefs and I’d rather steer clear of such people.
My most recent experience with church was when some Mormon missionaries talked to my brother who lives with me (he has a mild mental handicap) and dragged me into their talks. They talked about how great their church is and how richly blessed I will be once I decided to become baptized and join the church. I did not make such a move and eventually told the guys, “sorry, but I just don’t get these spiritual feelings that you claim to be feeling.” I had a lot of issues with what the church believes and what it expects of its members, so even if I were considering joining the church I would have deeply regretted it. To corroborate my suspicions about the church, I found a web site called www.exmormon.org. Some of the stories posted there made me question the sanity of anyone who would voluntarily join a church that makes you feel guilty for rubbing one out and expects you to cough up ten percent of your income for its compulsory tithes.
I feel like I have pretty much settled on what I believe. I believe there is a God, but I don’t believe that any one religion has it all right. There are some things we will just never know until we die, and perhaps this is how God wants it to be.
How did you come by your current religious/atheist paridigm?
It’s Buddhism, FWIW. I heard an interview (with Stephen Bachelor) on the radio. Then I took a meditation class. Then I attended a few retreats. Decided it worked for me.
Do you read philosophical or theological texts to support your position? No, I know my position, so I don’t need any reading material to support it. I do read to learn more, however.
Do you think you ever may change your mind? Not very likely.
For that matter, do you strongly believe in your current philosophy, or are you uncertain? Everything has holes. Some things in Buddhism are as full of shit as things in other religions. I can’t see swallowing anything hook, line, and sinker, especially if it’s 2500 years old. But I’m certain of a lot of things, still growing in others. I’d say that if you throw out stuff like rebirth (however it’s defined), and the hoo-ha about devas, hells, and such, the nuts and bolts of Buddhism are spot on.
Raised Lutheran. I was very active in the church and church activities until about the end of college.
At that time I started having serious doubts about not religion, but about churches. The organizations. I saw disagreements over the place of women in leadership and clergy. Battles over homosexuality and if homosexuals should be accepted and welcomed. I was having trouble reconciling the message with the actions.
At the same time, I moved away from the area I grew up in. I tried going to church, but now it was a room full of strangers. No more social event. My participation had to hinge totally on my belief in the messages being given. The messages weren’t enough to overcome the problems that I see with the organization.
Today, I still haven’t made up my mind what I believe. What I do know is I haven’t found a church that I think has it right.
I was raised Catholic. Just days after my First Communion I was sat down on the steps of the altar in front of Father M. with about 6 of the other girls. We were told that he knew our mothers were taking pills every day or that perhaps we had found something resembling balloons, both of which were strictly against the Catholic Church and proceeded to lay on the guilt about the solemn vow we had just taken until one of the girls burst into tears and bolted out of the church.
The rest of just looked at each other, squirming. I confessed, as did a few others, all of us in tears. I came home from school the next day to my mom completely agitated, asking me what Father M. had done. She was livid. Father M. had been to the house and demanded she stop taking birth control pills or leave the church. We stopped going to church, but we were kept enrolled in Catholic schools. :rolleyes:
I will never seek out an organized religion, nor am I very spiritual.
I remember feeling a thrill run up my spine when Darwin was introduced in 5th grade science, thinking *this *I can believe.
I was born believing in God. My grandma and one of my aunts were religious. My Mom was raised an atheist (different mother.) Most important people in my life were atheist. I wasn’t very religious, but I believed in God, and talked to Him often while I was outside playing.
When I was in sixth grade I attended an intense teenage youth rally through my grandmother’s church. I converted wholly and fully and enthusiastically into a born-again Christian, and proceeded to become involved in a Pentecostal church complete with speaking in tongues, fainting and all that weird stuff (yes, I’ve spokes in tongues… it’s not voluntary.) I brought my Bible to school daily, and would not shut up about Jesus throughout the vast majority of junior high. Most of the people in my family and most of my friends were dismayed by this. When I was 13 I switched to a more ordinary Baptist church, spending 3-4 nights per week on average at various church activities. I was very close to my pastor and his seven children, right up til the time I was about 16. By this age I had a much more mature perspective on Christianity. I was pretty liberal and easy going and didn’t really care what other people did, though I had a deep and personal relationship with Jesus Christ which I found very satisfying.
When I was 17, my life pretty much fell apart before my very eyes. It was already pretty shitty to begin with, and I really couldn’t have comprehended it getting worse, but amazingly, it did. I really can’t describe the level of suffering I had to endure. The first two decades of my life were a gauntlet of trauma, with my senior year of high school being like some kind of ritual torture that came at the end. It changed everything. One symptom, according to Wikipedia, of complex-PTSD is:
Looking back, it’s clear there were some people always there for me, but in that spot, I felt utterly alone, as if I was at the center of a black hole. I prayed a lot, and still have some of the last letters I wrote to God, right around my 18th birthday. Those letters are concerning my inability to feel His Divine presence, and my fear of living without Him. I begged Him to stay, but He snuffed himself out like candlelight.
For whatever reason, I was meant to suffer dearly during the beginning decades of my life. I bore it well, right alongside God, until I was 17. But sometimes enough is enough. To accept my reality and to still have faith in God became, for me, mutually exclusive options. I chose reality.
To say that my negative experiences are completely responsible for my change of spiritual direction is not accurate. I was also beginning college, being introduced to the philosophy of Friedrich Nietzsche and having conversations with people who believed in other religions. My college dorm had a Jew, a Muslim, a Buddhist and a modern Satanist within spitting distance. This was my first exposure to philosophy, existentialism, and other ways of viewing things, and I found it all very fascinating.
It was Nietzsche who allowed me to let go of Christianity once and for all. I won’t ever forget the first quote I ever read by him… a famous passage from The Gay Science that our professor presented us with on the first day of class:
This is a triumphant quote on multiple levels, and often very misunderstood. But the most important part for my little 18-year-old self, I guess, is that Nietzsche knew what it was like to lose God… and he had a plan.
So for a while I was just an atheist reading a lot of existentialism… took three courses on Nietzsche and have now read all of his books but one. Then, since the spiritual realm has always been as much a part of me as the physical one, I decided to look for a new religion. I decided on Buddhism, and investigated it for about a year before deciding to call myself a Buddhist. Buddhism has brought a lot of good to my life and it has helped me cope with a lot of issues. I’ve been a Buddhist for 7 years. I’m not very dogmatic. I’m still an atheist.
Maybe some day I will believe in god again. I hope I do. It’s lonely without him.
As for the matter of faith, that’s a different concept from God. I have all kinds of faith. I believe utterly in love, love being defined as action to alleviate the suffering of others. I believe in the awesome power of the Universe and I definitely believe we’re a part of something bigger, always ebbing and flowing, always changing, but always there. I have enough faith to move all the mountains in the world.
I was raised in a country town with a religiously divided population (Either Catholic of Church of England). Mum took me to the CoE a few times when I was young. I since found out it was only because tongues in town where already wagging about her and she tried to shut them up. But niether of my parents where religious and in fact viewed the whole thing as a farce.
I got sent to a catholic High School because being private, Mum and Dad believed there would be less of a discipline/drug problem. Being a “Heathen” I used to cop it hard from the teachers so I rebelled and started to bring in and read books on anything “Controversial”, from Nietsche to Marx, Crowley to LaVey.
As I was “rebelling” I found my interest in paganism and kinda stayed with it
I spent much of my youth waffling between outright atheism and devout born-again Christian.
But I had a lot of trouble with religion from a logical perspective and eventually stopped believing in Christianity.
My current belief wanders back and forth between agnosticism and atheism and are often coupled up in wacky new-ageism. It would be tough to pin down what I believe since it changes pretty regularly. I would guess that it is best to describe me as agnostic, since that is what I am most of the time.
I was baptised and raised Catholic, and attended a Catholic elementary school, high school, and college. My father has been a church organist and liturgist all my life (and nearly all of his), my brother was an altar boy as a lad, and when I was in high school my mother was a eucharistic minister and I became a lector and involved with my school’s campus ministry group. I continued to be a lector and involved with campus ministry in college, but around junior year I had a brief loss of faith that I chalked up to being on my own and questioning my parents’ beliefs for the first time. I went back to the church either just before or just after graduating in 1993, and in February 1995 I had an article published in Catholic Digest about what to do when your kids stop going to Mass.
Sometime within the next 3 years my faith was in crisis again. I did a lot of reading, and continued the research into other faiths that I’d started in college: I considered adopting Buddhism and/or a Native American view. Eventually I came to the realization that my problem was not with Catholicism or Christianity, but rather with the idea of God himself. I thought I just needed a new church, but it turned out that I needed no church. Thus began my agnosticism, but I didn’t recognize it for that or start calling it that for another year or two. Those were tough times for me, and I still have most of the pile of books I read. I even talked with my former pastor once or twice.
So, for the past 10 years or so I have been comfortably agnostic: I do not believe that the existence of God is knowable. Which does not rule out faith, or make me somehow against those who have it. I am not an atheist, I just don’t have the faith to be a theist – and I no longer struggle with discovering the “truth” because I don’t believe it can be found.
Sometimes I miss Catholicism. The right parish can be a wonderful community, and part of me misses the ceremony and history (and the music). I also sometimes miss ministering: I feel that I was a good lector, and I enjoyed trying to make the Old Testament accessible to the entire congregation. I go to church about once a year: when my mother comes to visit and I take her to Mass, or if something special is happening at my father’s church. It took a long time for me to stop standing and sitting on cue, and to get out of the habit of nodding my head when I say “Jesus.” And at first it was very hard for me to sit through a Mass, because I still had mixed feelings about faith and the church. But now I am finally at a point where I can sit through the service in peace.
(may God have him in His Glory)