Yeah, originally I thought you should stick to your promise, but after reading how it came about, I tend to think your dad had no right to make you promise and shouldn’t have an expectation that you won’t tell your partner.
BTW, the spousal privilege thing seems to only apply in certain jurisdictions.
People who tell other people secrets on the condition that those people not tell other people are idiots.
If I want to keep a secret, you know what I do? I don’t tell anyone.
If I tell someone, then it’s not a secret. I guess the only thing people love more than secrets is telling other people secrets. People are idiots.
No offence, but your dad doesn’t seem the best judge of what you should or shouldn’t be telling your partner. He seems to have a spotty record in this department, if anything use him like a reverse barometer and do the opposite of what he says.
I was going to come down on the side of “no, you can’t tell anyone” before I read post #29. But if my father were to tell me he was cheating on his wife, I’d have to tell someone or my head would explode.
For that matter, if I were ever to tell one of my (adult) children something like that, I’d completely understand if they were on the phone with each other before I even got the words “but don’t tell anyone” out of my mouth.
Its not really a question to me, either the g/f is transient , in which case she has no need to know, or she is family in waiting, in which case she has a need to know. I could not see a reason not to let her in on something that could be potentially embarassing to her.
Something like bring it up in public and in an innocent manner, and all of a sudden feel like the lowest thing on the totem pole, cause she was the only one not told.
I think you did the right thing with your SO
Declan
This is it.
Finally got around to reading this one. I say ‘don’t worry about it.’ Your dad (not judging his adultery, but, judging his dumbness) is a prime dork. Asking you to keep it a secret after going on at Homeric length, is not to be considered serious, in my book. Don’t let on that you blabbed, but, he cannot expect you to hold in a secret if he has to lecture you for 20 minutes before badgering you into a promise. The milk had already been spilled, and he wanted you to mop it up, so to speak. Also, anybody who has an affair, and wants to introduce the co-adulterer to a family member (as you suspect) is begging to get busted.
What this here guy said.